When We Moved On
by maplelie
Summary: Bella leaves Edward after realizing that what they had wasn't healthy.  She moves on and builds a life with little supernatural influence.  But after more love and heartbreak, Bella crosses paths with Carlisle again.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** The following story starts at the scene in New Moon where Edward drives Bella home after her disastrous birthday party.

This is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction. I do not own Twilight and I have no intent to profit from writing my own spin to Stephenie Meyer's vampire world. A huge thank you goes out to StormDragonfly for helping me find the courage to actually start publishing.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

He drove silently as he continued to glare out the windshield. I couldn't bear to look at him when he was adamantly giving me the silent treatment. So I fumed over the stupid argument that erupted from the mere mention of Mike Newton's name. I couldn't entirely disagree with his reasoning that had I been involved with a human being like Mike, and had I been surrounded by my human friends instead of a family of vampires, a small bandage would've been the last of that paper cut. But Edward was really missing the point. I didn't care that tonight's cut led to several stitches on my arm, because despite what happened, I was happy to spend my birthday with him and his family.

All too soon, we pulled up to the front of my house. We continued to sit in awkward silence, unsure of how to recover from our argument.

"Will you stay tonight?" I asked.

"I should go home."

I winced so slightly that perhaps even Edward didn't notice it. At the very least, he didn't acknowledge it. His soft, quiet words felt like a hard shove and I tried to hide the hurt that his reply inflicted by staring intently at my feet. I didn't ask for a party, but I knew how much it meant to the Cullens to celebrate. Of course I managed to ruin it somehow and sent poor Jasper on a rampage.

"Fine," I replied. He obviously wanted to be away from me and I wasn't going to beg for him to stay. I gathered what was left of my pride and got out of the truck as quickly as my injury allowed.

"Do you need help carrying your presents in?" he asked absently. His tone was beginning to grate on my nerves.

"No, I'll get them later."

He turned to me with a look I couldn't comprehend before he gave me his crooked smile, perhaps to mollify the tension. It was the smile that usually made me melt. To my surprise, I didn't melt. Something alien settled on my usually tender feelings for him and I felt a small frown form on my face. Before I knew it, he reached out and gently touched one corner of my mouth.

"You're upset. Do you really want me to stay?" he asked hesitantly.

His touch felt oddly cold; it wasn't the usual icy caress that I've become accustomed to in our short time together. I backed away, concerned about what was descending upon us tonight that seemed to change things between us.

"No, it's fine. It's probably best that you spend the time with your family after… what happened."

He nodded and disappeared into the dark forest at the end of my yard. Mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, I bade Charlie a quick good night in the hopes that he wouldn't notice my latest injury. I carefully got ready for bed and before settling under covers, I padded to my window and contemplated if Edward would decide to come later on when Charlie's asleep. It didn't take very long to decide that I genuinely wanted to be alone tonight, so I bolted the window. It wouldn't really keep a vampire out, but at least if he decides to visit me and finds the window locked, he will take that as I sign that I wanted to be left alone.

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><p>I woke up the next day to the usual dull grey sky of Forks. My arm felt very sore, but thankfully it wasn't any worse than that. When I checked my bandages, I was surprised to see how neat it remained throughout the night… I must've slept like the dead. As far as I knew, I usually moved quite a bit when I sleep. My sheets either ended up tangled around my legs or discarded on the floor. I suddenly became suspicious and sprang out of bed directly to my bedroom window. It was still locked.<p>

_Did you really think he'd come after what happened last night? _

I shook my head at the improbability of the idea. Edward never made a habit out of going into my room in the evenings other than through the window. Even if he did come through the window last night, why would it still be locked, unless he was some kind magician who could lock windows from the outside? Realizing I've wasted enough time on stupid speculations, I got ready for school.

Thankfully, I managed to drive the few miles without incident. Edward was already waiting for me as usual. He took my book bag and offered his free hand, which I automatically accepted.

"How's your arm this morning?" he asked just before we arrived at the door of our classroom.

"It's sore…" I began to say until I saw his face darken. "But it's not as bad as I thought it would be."

He sighed, but he didn't look remotely relieved. There was something about him that wasn't quite right. His eyes held the same "something" that I couldn't quite place last night. Judging by his mood, he wasn't going to volunteer any information, so I decided to dive right into the questions burning in my mind.

"How is Jasper doing? How are Alice, Esme and Carlisle and everyone doing? What happened after we left?" I blurted.

"We'll talk later. Class is about to begin," he replied plainly.

He guided me to our seats and without another glance in my direction; he fixed his gaze to the front of class, effectively ending the conversation.

Usually we stole flirty glances at each other or passed notes during class. Today was obviously different. He continued to stare straight towards the board, under the pretense of rapt attention to the lesson. I took the opportunity to study him while he was determined to avoid communicating with me. To anyone who didn't know Edward, he looked like any other normal teenager at school. He was casually leaning back in his seat, with a pen in hand poised to write notes. He took care to shift in his seat or fidget with whatever was on his desk once in a while. It was all a perfectly rehearsed set of actions aimed to look as human as possible in a classroom setting. He may have looked like a boy trying to pay attention to class, but I knew all too well that something weighed heavily on his mind. When the bell finally rang to signal the end of the period, I opened my mouth to begin the questioning again, but he quickly turned away and stood gracefully from his seat and proffered his hand without making eye contact. Much to my disappointment, "later" didn't mean after class, so I took his hand without a word to avoid an argument.

The next period was very much the same as the first. He and I sat at our usual desks at the back of the room and he continued to avoid verbal communication. When class was dismissed, he again put his hand out for me to take. I could feel my earlier disappointment escalate to frustration. We walked in silence to the cafeteria, where we joined Angela and Ben at one of the tables.

"Hi Bella, Edward," Angela greeted. "Is Alice not joining us today?"

I looked expectantly at Edward to say something, since I didn't have an excuse to offer. He looked distracted and after a few awkward seconds of silence he focused his attention back to us.

"She was feeling under the weather today and decided to stay home," he lied smoothly.

"Oh, that's too bad. I hope she feels better soon."

"It's probably just a cold," he smiled uncomfortably, as though he no longer wanted to talk about his sister.

"Do you think I can stop by your house for a short visit?" I played along hoping Edward would say yes. I really wanted to get some answers since he was unwilling to tell me anything while we were at school.

"I don't think it's necessary." He then looked directly at me with a pleading look that asked me to drop it.

"Are you sure? She'll probably feel better if I…"

"No, Bella, she'll be fine."

I could feel the heat of embarrassment rise in my cheeks when I noticed Angela and Ben exchange a look. This was probably the first time they've seen us disagree like this. We spent the rest of the lunch period chatting about the latest movie releases in the theaters and other superficial topics – at least Angela, Ben and I did. Edward remained distant and only answered when spoken to directly. Towards the end of the hour, he excused himself and I didn't see him again until the beginning of class. What could've happened last night that would cause him to be so sullen?

At the end of the day, Edward walked me to my truck and I busied myself with putting my things in the passenger seat. To my surprise, he suddenly leaned in and planted a soft chaste kiss on my cheek. On any other day, I would've wanted a sweeter parting kiss, but after the way he'd been treating me, wanting more was the last thing on my mind. We drove off in our separate vehicles knowing that we would shortly meet in front of my house, as we usually did. As soon as I turned the engine off, he immediately opened my door and assisted me off the truck.

"Okay… talk," was all I could say when we faced each other in my kitchen.

He began to pace the kitchen as though in deep thought over how to respond to my demand. I just waited and watched him, not wanting to prod him further. He knew I wasn't going to back down this time after waiting all day.

"Bella…" he began, but no other words followed. He stopped for a brief moment to look at me then he resumed his pacing. After what seemed like a long time, he finally stilled at the opposite end of the room and looked me directly in the eyes. "Alice and Jasper are no longer in Forks."

"What do you mean they're no longer here?" I asked warily.

"They left shortly after I got back last night. I suggested that Jasper keep his distance until he gets himself under control."

I wasn't sure that I heard him correctly. How could someone ask members of his family to leave just like that? I must have been gaping at him from shock. He watched me intently, waiting for my response.

"Why would you do that?" I said, my voice quivering. "Edward, they're family… how could you ask them to leave?"

"I thought it was best. I always knew something like that could happen. It was just a matter of time."

"Alice was my best friend, the closest I had to a sister and Jasper was my brother. How can you just tell them to leave without giving me any warning?"

"It wasn't like I physically removed them from the house. They recognized the gravity of the situation and willingly agreed to leave." He looked wounded at my insinuation that their departure was purely his doing. He circled my small kitchen a couple of times before he faced me again. "How could you still think of him as a brother after he tried to kill you? After the incident with the nomad a few months ago and now this one with Jasper, I thought you'd finally see us for what we really are!"

"You should know by now that I don't care what you, Alice and everyone are. What happened yesterday was an accident and accidents do happen once in a while. I am fully aware of the consequences of spending time in a house full of vampires."

"You've already cheated death at the hands of my kind twice. How many more times until you come to your senses?"

"This is ridiculous, Edward. I understand that you want to protect me from harm but even you must realize that you cannot prevent my death indefinitely. I can die tomorrow or fifty years from now. I can die in your world or die in mine."

He strode across the kitchen and gently took the hand of my good arm in his. He gazed into my eyes and I saw his beautiful ochre orbs set with sadness.

"You're right. I can't prevent your death. It is inevitable because you are mortal. But knowing that you risk your life everyday just by being associated with us is unbearable."

"What do you mean? You can't expect me to pretend that you and Alice don't exist. That's ridiculous! We have classes together every day…" I wrenched my hand from his as the horrific epiphany dawned on me. "Unless you mean to remove yourself and every member of your family out of my life."

"If that's what I have to do, I will," he replied with such finality.

"You can't do that. I won't allow it!"

"Bella…"

"Let me speak!" I exclaimed. "You claim to care deeply for me, yet you freeze me out and then threaten to take away everyone I love so you can sentence me to a natural human death when the time comes. Where does my choice come into play, or does your love entitle you to deny my choice? If that's what it means to be loved by you, then..." I broke off, not wanting to say the words that were to follow.

Pain flashed in his eyes. "Then what Isabella?"

"Then," I stammered as the tears prickled. "Then perhaps we should not be together." The awful words tumbled out of my mouth to both our astonishment.

"Is that what you really want?" he said after some minutes passed.

"I don't know, Edward. I need some time to think," I started to say, only to quickly realize that he could easily uproot his family now that I stated the possibility of breaking connections with him. I clutched his arm and pleaded. "Please, I just need time. Don't leave and don't take the rest of them away from here. Not yet."

He lightly squeezed my hand and nodded. We didn't realize how much time had passed until we saw the cruiser's headlights beam across the wall.

"I should go. We will talk again soon – when you're ready, of course," he said as he released my hand. Before the front door opened, Edward was already gone and I stood numbly in the dark kitchen alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you very much to those who gave kind reviews to my first chapter. I've done some quick last minute adjustments to this one, so any funny grammar is my fault alone. :)

As per the usual script... I do not own Twilight.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 <strong>

Dinner was a quiet affair like any other night, and Charlie didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. After I cleaned up and Charlie was comfortably settled in front of the television, I made my way up the stairs to my refuge to shut myself away for a while.

I reflected on what transpired between me and Edward today. I knew that things wouldn't be normal after what happened last night, but I didn't expect his odd behavior at school and the resulting drama in the kitchen. At first, it didn't surprise me that he was more guarded and distant. After all, one of his nightmares almost came true when Jasper lunged for me. It did surprise me, however, when Edward shut me out completely. He deliberately avoided my questions and ignored my concerns over his family. It only got worse when he told me that he would go to such lengths as driving his own family away to keep me safe. I sighed at the thought of how much easier it would be if I was one of them. It would only take someone to bite me… to change me. Edward wouldn't have to worry about my safety after that and maybe our relationship will be more equal.

_Or will it?_

"Bells?"

I opened my door a crack to find my father suited up for work again. "Is something wrong, Dad?"

"There was a small incident with one of the new deputies. I better go in and check it out. Hopefully, it won't take long, but don't wait up."

"Okay, goodnight."

I heard the cruiser drive away into the night and remembered that my homework sat untouched and I still had to get ready for bed. Feeling the stiffness in my injured arm, I opted to get cleaned up and comfortable first, before tackling some work. The shower relieved some of the more superficial aches, but my heart felt heavy at the very thought of Edward and the Cullens. I dragged some of my books on to my bed with a huff and hoped that my mind would be occupied enough to keep my melancholy thoughts away.

It was nearly two in the morning and I was almost finished with my homework when I heard a light tap on the window. I froze at the thought that maybe Edward returned to tell me that he had changed his mind about giving me time to think. After the drama today, I wasn't ready for more and I decided to ignore the tapping on the window. The tapping came again more audibly than before, so against my better judgment, I reluctantly got up and peered out the window. In the yard, barely illuminated by the moonlight, was the unmistakable form of Rosalie Hale. She motioned for me to let her in, so I opened my window and stepped back. In one graceful leap, she was through the window and standing tall in the middle of my shabby room.

"Is it true then?" she said accusingly with narrowed eyes.

"Is what true?" I replied cautiously, not certain what she could be referring to. I shuddered at Rosalie standing in my room. She never hid her distaste for me and I was always afraid of being in the same room as her, even when Edward or Alice was present.

"Edward tells us that you two are no longer together."

I stood there, not knowing how to respond. This wasn't really any of her business, but I was too intimidated to point it out. I didn't know her well, after all, and I couldn't be sure what she would do if she got upset.

Undeterred by my reluctance to answer, she pressed on. "He also said that you've requested that we not leave Forks despite the state of your relationship."

"Yes, that's true."

"Why would you do that?" she questioned as she continued to glare at me. "Why would you want us to stay?"

"Why would I want your family to go? I have nothing against anyone."

"After what happened last night, wouldn't you be afraid and angry? Wouldn't you feel betrayed that a member of the vampire family you've grown so attached to almost killed you? Why would you want someone like us around?"

"It wasn't Jasper's fault. I never blamed him."

"That doesn't tell me why you want us to stay," she said sharply. Rosalie wasn't the most patient of the Cullens and by the tone of her voice, whatever patience she had was quickly thinning.

"Because I care and I don't want to be without you all. I started to feel like I was part of a family… I don't want to be alone again," I answered as tears began to leak. "I was devastated to hear from Edward that Alice and Jasper went away. I never had the chance to say goodbye or tell them that I wasn't angry or anything." I was tired of rehashing everything again and it was very late in the evening. I crumpled into a ball on my bed and sobbed, no longer caring that Rosalie, of all people, was in the room with me. Thankfully, she didn't stop me from bawling my eyes out so I stayed that way until my sobs subsided.

"Last night, after Alice and Jasper left, Edward asked the rest of us to begin preparations to move to a new city," she said softly. I gasped at her words but she held a finger up to signal that she wanted to continue without further interruption. "We disagreed with him. We thought Edward was being too rash with his decision and we tried to reason with him. Carlisle was upset, more so than I expected. To say that he was adamant against leaving you behind is a gross understatement." She paused to gauge my reaction. "Now, we both know that you and I haven't always been the best of friends, Bella, but believe me when I say that I agree with Carlisle. You are family to us.

"When Edward came home a few hours ago, he asked us to suspend our plans to move. Esme and Emmett were elated, but Carlisle and I were a bit wary of his change in heart. So he admitted that the two of you are having difficulties, and that you've asked us not to leave right away. He didn't say any more than that, which is why I'm here."

"So, now that you know more, what will happen?" I croaked.

"I don't really know, Bella." She opened the window and looked over her shoulder. "In all honesty, I like Forks and I am not eager to leave yet." She was gone in a blink of an eye, but not before I saw a small smile appear on her face.

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><p>It must have been another night of sleeping like the dead. I woke up surrounded by my open textbooks. There was an odd shuffling sound coming from the stairs that made me jump out of bed. I wasn't expecting anybody to be here. Was Charlie home? What time was it? I still felt disoriented from my deep sleep. Was another Cullen here for a visit?<p>

_But they've never come in uninvited... what if it was someone else? Someone who didn't care if they were invited or not?_

I felt the hair at the back of my neck stand at the onset of paranoia, so I grabbed the first thing that my hand touched. Very carefully, I tiptoed to my door and prayed with all my might that the door wouldn't creak so as not to alert the intruder of my presence. I had my makeshift weapon poised to throw or bash into whoever or whatever it was, when suddenly my door swung open causing me to scream in fright.

"Christ Isabella!" cried Charlie as I threw the object, narrowly missing his face.

"Oh my god, Dad! I'm sorry! I heard strange sounds and I didn't know what was going on,"I shrieked, relieved that it was my father. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before looking back at him. Despite the bewildered expression on his face, Charlie looked tired. He was still wearing last night's clothes. "Did you just get back from the station?"

"Yeah, it was a very long night. Damned deputy and his idiocy. I've only got time for a short nap before I head back in," he grumbled. He glanced over my clothes and then down to his watch. "Aren't you running a little late for school? I saw your truck out front so I thought you caught a ride with Edward."

I yelped at the realization that class was about to start in less than twenty minutes, so I made quick work of getting dressed and grabbed my books from the bed. I drove my ancient truck to its limit to make up for lost time, and was glad to have found a parking space near the middle of the lot. After a sprint, with only two minor stumbles along the way, I made it to my first class. My lungs heaved at the physical punishment that I'd just subjected them to. Barely a minute passed when class began and Edward was nowhere to be seen. There wasn't an assigned seating arrangement, but we usually sat beside each other.

_He's just giving you some space. Don't think much of it._

I sighed and nodded to myself. There was no sense in being an emotional wreck. Had Edward been present, I probably wouldn't be able to focus on anything but our fight. For that reason alone, I settled on being content for the chance to forget about that whole thing for the next while. Unfortunately, my concentration was a little challenged throughout the day, probably due to the lack of sleep, and I found my thoughts drifting to my brief conversation with Rosalie. At the time, it was difficult to process what she said, but now that I've had a few hours to mull it over, I felt some reassurance based on the family's reaction to Edward's suggestion to leave Forks. They didn't want to leave me behind.

_Do I dare to think that I mean as much to them as they do to me? I always thought they only liked me for Edward's sake._

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><p>To make up for the debacle this morning, I decided to make Charlie something a little more special than usual for dinner. The chicken was slowly roasting away in the oven and I was just about finished mashing the potatoes when the phone rang in the kitchen. I would hate for it to be Charlie calling to tell me that he would be spending the evening at the station again.<p>

"Bella." My father's usually gruff voice came on the phone. "I'll be another half hour here at the station to tie up a couple of things. I just called so you wouldn't worry."

"Sure, Dad, but no later okay? I don't want the chicken to get dry."

"Sure thing, kid. I'll see you in a bit."

Half an hour wasn't going to be long, but since I was pretty much finished, I plopped down on one of the chairs and pulled out a book to pass time. I barely got through one page when a knock came on my door. I huffed over the lost peace and trudged to the door to see who the unexpected visitor was. To my pleasant surprise, Carlisle Cullen was standing outside my door.

"Hello, Bella. I hope I'm not intruding," he spoke in his usual soothing tone.

"No, not at all. Please come in," I entreated, and he followed after me into the living room. It wasn't much of a living room compared to the beautiful white room in the Cullen mansion, but there wasn't an alternative room to receive guests in my house. "Charlie just called a few minutes ago to tell me that he's running a bit late for dinner."

"I came at a good time then. I wanted to check up on your stitches."

We sat on the couch and he proceeded to remove the bandaging to inspect the cut. He was happy to report that the stitches held well and that they would be ready for removal the next day. "I can come by tomorrow to do that," he said. "There's no need to go to the hospital, unless that's what you prefer." He was finished putting fresh bandages on my arm before I could take two breaths.

"Not that it really makes a difference who removes them, but I'd rather the hospital didn't get the chance to add yet another tick beside my name for number of hospital visits this year," I scoffed. "Besides, I don't want to have to explain to Charlie why I was there."

"I completely understand," he said conspiratorially. He quickly packed up his medical bag as I put on my cardigan to hide the injury from my father. "I understand Rosalie came by for a visit last night."

"Yes, she did. She mentioned that you and the rest of the family have no immediate plans to leave town, despite Edward's idea."

"That is true. I wasn't prepared to lose even more members of my family, especially after Alice and Jasper's sudden departure." His voice sounded less genial than I was accustomed to.

"Do you know where they are and when they will be back?" I asked, praying that he had some knowledge to share.

"Unfortunately, I don't. I haven't spoken to either of them since that night, but I'm hoping to hear from Alice soon to let me know where they are situated." He must have sensed my disappointment because he gently placed his hands on top of mine. "I promise to let you know when I hear from them. Do not worry, Bella, they are strong and they will be fine. I'm sure Alice misses you very much. We will hear from her soon enough." He smiled comfortingly and soothed my worries.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I appreciate that very much."

"Do not underestimate your worth to us, Bella. We all care very much for you. Be assured that we will not be going anywhere without your knowledge," he said with conviction. "I promise."

Those last two words resonated to every fiber of my being and I felt blessed to be part of a family of such caring people. I could feel tears rolling from my eyes as I gave Carlisle a huge embrace to convey my relief and gratitude. All too soon, Carlisle got up to leave to allow me some time to compose myself before Charlie came home. He squeezed my shoulder affectionately and said that he would return the next day to remove the stitches.

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><p>"This is great Bells!" Charlie said appreciatively as he looked at the spread on the dinner table. "After the terrible couple of days at work, it's great to come home to a nice meal."<p>

"I just wanted to make up for scaring the hell out of you this morning." I laughed as we recounted the morning's events.

"Seriously, Bella, I don't think a plush bear would do too much damage to an intruder," he snorted.

We continued our banter throughout dinner. When we finished, Charlie was in such good spirits that he offered to give me a night off from dishes, despite his long day at work. Secretly, I was thankful to have another night to rest my arm.

"It's too bad we don't have nights like this very often, Bells. I'm sorry I have to work so much."

"Don't worry about it, Dad. I've been a little short on time too since I moved here." I felt guilty, all of the sudden, for all the time I spent with Edward and how little I left for my father. I wanted to correct that moving forward. "We should do this again very soon. How about another special dinner next week? We can make that a new tradition."

"I'm looking forward to it," he replied with a huge smile still plastered on his face.

It felt wonderful to connect with my dad after all the years we've been apart. With a final wave and a goodnight, I went up the stairs to my room with my heart feeling lighter than it had been for a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** My first thanks goes to StormDragonfly for being so patient with me with regards to this chapter. The latter part was difficult to write but she helped me get through it. Thanks also to everyone who put my story on alert and to those who left the reviews.

My mandatory note: I do not own Twilight.

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

I didn't see Edward again until a little over a week had passed. I was waiting for my first class to begin when a familiar pale figure ghosted to the seat next to me. He smiled at me in greeting, and I felt my heart quicken at his impossible beauty. Even though we'd been together for months, I still found it hard to accept that he would be attracted to someone as plain as me. But insecurities aside, I was nervous about how we were going to proceed. We had much to discuss and I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. I returned his smile, and turned to face the front of the class, only to find a small folded note on my desk.

_**I've missed you.**_

Tears prickled in my eyes at the words written in Edward's beautiful script. I wanted so much to write back those same three words, but I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say. I didn't want to mislead him into thinking that everything was okay between us. After all, we had said some unpleasant things to each other last week, and I'm sure it hurt us both. He must have seen my hesitation, because faster than I could blink, the note was again folded neatly on my desk.

_**Please forgive me if I made you uncomfortable. I couldn't help but express how I feel. I hope we get a chance to talk soon. **_

I tilted my head slightly in his direction and gave him a small nod. He was right. We needed to talk soon, only I wasn't certain if I was ready yet.

Edward kept close by for the remainder of the day, since we set up our schedules to match in the beginning of the semester. Despite the impending _talk_, we managed to get past on some of the awkwardness from earlier and conversed a little between classes. When it was time to go home, my truck failed to start and Edward gallantly offered to take me home.

"Would you like me to ask Rosalie to have a look at it?" he offered, as he drove well within the speed limit towards my house.

"I should ask Jacob first. He fixed it last time," I replied shyly. I didn't want to seem ungrateful.

"Okay, just let me know if he won't be able to fix it right away. I'll be more than happy to drive you around." His words were tinged with hope. Though I would loathe to admit it, his tone tugged at my heart strings.

Unluckily for me, Jacob recently caught the flu and couldn't say when he could check what was wrong with my truck. I didn't want him to feel bad, so I wished him a speedy recovery and reassured him that I would make another repair arrangement. I ended the call and sighed, knowing that I had to call Edward after all, since I didn't know Rosalie's number. With slightly trembling hands, I dialed his cell number.

"Bella!" he greeted.

"Hi," I said as I bit down on my lip. "Listen, I just spoke with Jacob, and he said that he just came down with the flu. I was going to ask Rosalie if she might be able to help me out. Is she around?"

"Apparently, we missed her today. When I got home she and Emmett were already gone for a hunt. I can leave her a message on her phone, but I'm sure she would be willing to help. Until then, I hope you don't mind having me as your personal chauffeur."

I felt my face heat up at the fact that I had very little choice. I could ask Charlie to drive me school, but that would only raise suspicion on why I couldn't catch a ride with Edward or Alice. It had been a relief that he didn't say anything about not seeing Edward around our house in the last few days, but this request would certainly start the inquisition.

"No, I appreciate it. Thank you, Edward. I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"It'll be my pleasure, Bella."

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><p>I got up the next morning feeling nervous about seeing Edward again. After days of not seeing each other, it had been awkward to be in his presence yesterday. But I couldn't understand why I still felt that way.<p>

I was in the middle of brushing my teeth when I heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Hey, kid. I just heard from the station that the school sprinkler system got triggered sometime early this morning. Everything's under a foot of water, so I don't think there will be classes today."

"Are you serious, Dad?" I sputtered mid-scrub.

"Yep. Anyways, I'm gonna head over to work. I'll see you later. Have fun on your day off," my father called over his shoulder as he jogged down the stairs.

I finished up in the bathroom and headed back to my own room to ponder what to do with my free time. All my homework was done for the week, so I decided to spend the day lounging around with a book. I had just finished getting dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a long-sleeved shirt when I suddenly remembered that Edward was on his way to pick me up. To my dismay, a knock came at the front door just as I had sailed down the stairs to the kitchen phone.

_Argh! Stupid brain! I should've called Edward sooner!_

I opened the door to the smiling face of Edward. He was holding an insulated paper cup of steaming coffee in one hand and a paper bag in the other.

"Hi! I hope you don't mind me showing up like this. I heard that the school's closed for the day, so I thought I'd bring you some breakfast."

"Oh… I was just about to call you. You didn't have to do this," I stammered, feeling like an idiot. My stomach apparently had a mind of its own, and it growled at the delicious scent of breakfast. He raised a perfect brow at me and playfully shook the bag. Whatever he brought was certainly going to be better than a cold bowl of stale cereal, so I swallowed my pride and motioned for him to follow me to the kitchen.

"Mmm cinnamon roll..." I hummed at my first bite. "I haven't had one of these in a long time."

Edward laughed in amusement at my ridiculous love affair with my breakfast. He sat in a chair across the table from me. "Then I'm glad I decided to surprise you this morning. I don't recall you ever reacting the same way with your usual morning meal."

I blushed furiously at his observation, only to earn another amused laugh from him. His good humor this morning was so infectious that I found myself laughing along with him. After I ate the last bit of the roll, I sat back in contentment and wrapped my hands around the coffee cup. Edward also sat back and watched me with a fond expression on his face.

"I don't remember being this relaxed with you in a while," he mused, still smiling.

"Me, either."

Edward was different this morning. Even though he had a good handle on his thirst for my blood, he'd constantly worry that I might accidentally get hurt either by my own doing or by someone else. But this time, there was a noticeable lack of tension in his presence. He sat at ease across from me as though all the worries in the world had melted away.

_Perhaps now is the right time to talk after all._

"Edward… is it okay if we talk?" I asked tentatively. I didn't want to ruin the nice time we were having so far.

He sat up straighter on his seat and his smile faded into a more serious look.

"Of course, Bella."

My eyes shifted to where my hands were. I was afraid that if I looked at Edward, I would lose my nerve along with the chance to bring everything out in the open.

"Last week, after my birthday, something felt different between us. I'm not sure what it was exactly… it was as though something ominous was hovering above us. Things didn't feel right and then we ended up saying those awful things to each other. But somehow they seemed to uncover some truths." I paused to wait for his objections, but none came. "I was angry that you were part of the reason why Alice and Jasper left, and I became even angrier when you admitted that you would not hesitate to encourage the rest to leave for the sake of my safety. Couldn't you see what was wrong with that? You knew how much being a part of a family meant to me, even if I was only at the fringes. You were willing to hurt me to ensure my safety without asking me if that was what I wanted." I stopped to catch my breath and watched Edward sigh deeply before he began his rebuttal.

"First of all, you were never at the fringes with the family. We all care for you very much, so don't ever doubt that. Now for my apology…" he trailed off, trying to gauge my expression. "Bella, after being away from you for a week, I've had plenty time to think over my actions since we met."

I stiffened at his words. I wasn't sure where this was going.

"My actions from the beginning of our relationship had been selfish and juvenile. I wanted to protect you from harm so much that I've treated you more like an object than a person. My need for your safety became such an obsession that I had forgotten why I wanted to be with you in the first place. You are vibrant, intelligent, and utterly selfless. I took all of that for granted. I became the brute that overruled your concerns and denied your choices on how to live your life." He then got up in one fluid motion and kneeled on the floor beside me. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I don't want to be without you. I will be forever grateful to keep you in my life in whatever way you are willing to be." He looked at me imploringly, his eyes conveying the earnestness of his words.

I was utterly dumbfounded. I would never have expected Edward to say the things that he had just said. Edward was not known to waver in his values. If he believed that he was doing the right thing, he would go ahead and do it without another thought, despite anyone's objections. Not only was he admitting his faults and wrongdoings now, but he was also shouldering the blame for all of our problems. It wasn't fair to him. It took a lot of courage for him to do what he did, and it was only right that I should do the same and take some of the responsibility as well. After all, we were both in that relationship.

"No, I don't want you to take all the blame. I made it too easy. I think I was too dazzled… too much in awe that you chose to be with me. Even though I had my own way of doing things, and my own ideas, I'm embarrassed to admit that I didn't want to say or do anything that might change your mind about being with me. I didn't want to risk losing you."

"So, our relationship was plagued with irrational fears of losing one another?" he said rhetorically and then to my surprise, I saw a slight tug of a grin on his lips. "Everything we did to squelch those fears still led us to where we are now."

"Yes, I suppose so."

We sat in quiet reflection over each other's part in our failed relationship. Although we'd just begun to scratch the surface, I could already feel some of the tension dissipate as the minutes went by. We decided to leave the confines of the kitchen for a walk in the forest behind my house for some fresh air. Once we stopped, we hadn't gone very far, since I could still see the back of my house from where we stood under the dense cover of the trees. Arms linked, we walked slowly in a large circle as we enjoyed the view of the yellowed leaves falling all around us. To anyone watching from a distance, we probably appeared like old friends who hadn't seen each other in a very long time. Thankfully, it was overcast, or those same watchers-by would have thought that I had been walking beside a human-shaped disco ball.

Edward went on to tell me where he was during his absence and how being far away from people helped clear his mind. When he came to realize what he was doing to us, he felt ashamed about having a hand in driving Alice and Jasper away from their home. He promised to find them and explain himself to his siblings. I squeezed his arm reassuringly, hoping to convey my understanding and support of his decision. When he asked me what I had been up to while he was away, he looked nervously at me as though waiting for some devastating tale. I went on to prove his nerves wrong and described my new dinner tradition with Charlie. Relief immediately flooded his face, and a sincere smile quickly followed it.

"It seems that today was a good day to talk," Edward observed as we continued walking.

"Yes, that cinnamon roll certainly set the stage." I smirked and I was rewarded with his signature crooked smile.

"How do you want to proceed, Bella?"

I took a moment to carefully form my words, and he waited patiently. "I think we should take it slow from here and see where it leads. I don't know if it's wise to jump back into the way things were after we've just realized where we went wrong."

He nodded in agreement and we continued our languid pace for another couple of rounds. When we got back to my kitchen, I futilely rummaged through the refrigerator for special dinner ideas. Edward offered to take me to the store. I quickly accepted, feeling some warmth in our newly forming friendship.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I realize that some readers may be questioning when the story will fast track to when Bella and Carlisle get together. I promise it will come but my approach will be quite gradual. If you still decide to stick with me, I hope I do not disappoint too badly.

Thanks again to my beta StormDragonfly. For those who haven't yet come across her works, I highly recommend them!

As per usual, I do not own Twilight.

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

"Bella!"

I turned towards the source of the voice. A few paces behind, I saw Edward weaving through the dense hallway in a very human-like fashion. I snickered at the thought that if he really wanted to catch up to me, and dropped all human pretenses, all those poor kids would've gone flying against the lockers.

"What's gotten you all excited this morning?" I asked, as he matched his pace with mine.

"Alice."

I stared at him, astonished. It had only taken the mention of her name to halt me in my tracks. Alice, the vampire I'd come to think of as a sister, had been absent from our lives for almost two weeks. Though I assumed that part of the reason why she remained quiet the whole time was to let things settle down, it didn't mean that I didn't miss her at all.

"Where? How…?" I stammered, completely losing my ability to form sentences. Edward grinned at my reaction and gently rubbed my arm in a soothing way. Somewhere behind me came a muffled laugh and I immediately became aware that some of the students in the hallway had started to eye us with interest. "How did you find them?" I asked quietly.

"Actually, I didn't find them. We received a letter from Alice sent via J. Jenks last night. It was just a short note that said they're arriving on Friday next week."

"Why wouldn't she just call or send you an email?" It didn't make sense to me why she had to be so secretive if she had intended on coming home anyway.

"I assume they wanted to keep their whereabouts private," replied Edward with a shrug.

"I see…" Frankly, I didn't really want to get into analyzing Alice's complicated psyche to understand the reason behind the use of a third party to contact family. All I cared about was that Alice and Jasper were finally coming home. But something else that Edward had mentioned earlier sparked my curiosity. "So, who or what exactly is a 'J. Jenks'?"

Edward gave me an embarrassed smile as we resumed the walk to our next class. "He's uh… a lawyer that we use from time to time."

"A lawyer?"

"Yes, Bella."

Shrugging my shoulders much like Edward did, I decided to let it go. I was sure an affluent family like the Cullens would have had several lawyers at their disposal for any number of reasons. "Come on. We better hurry or we'll be late."

* * *

><p>After another long day of classes, Edward, Angela, Ben and I headed toward the school parking lot. I began to wonder when Rosalie and Emmett were going to be back from their hunt. When I caught sight of my truck, still broken down, a small sigh escaped me. I missed my truck, but more importantly I missed having the freedom to go wherever I wanted to. Edward, ever the gracious gentleman, had offered to drive me everywhere, but I didn't want to be stuck to him like glue – at least, not while we were still in the beginnings of our new friendship. It would be easy to depend heavily on him like I did before, and that was a habit I didn't want to get into again.<p>

"Have you figured out what to do with your truck yet?" Angela asked.

"No, not yet. But I think I'll just scrounge up whatever money I have and get it towed to my house," I replied glumly. "Poor truck… stuck at the school parking lot."

Angela gave me a sympathetic smile before we parted ways. Ben had parked on the far side of the lot.

"I wouldn't break the piggy bank yet, if I were you," Edward whispered close to my ear.

"No. There's no way I'm letting you pay for towing my truck," I admonished, more sternly than I had intended. "You know how I feel about you spending money on me."

"Hush, that's not what I meant." With a mischievous grin, he pulled me towards my truck.

He opened the driver's door for me and on the seat was a folded paper with my name elegantly written on the exposed side. I warily picked up the note and became curious when I noticed that the handwriting was not Edward's.

_**Bella,**_

_**I've managed to get your truck running again, but it is only temporary. I ordered some replacement parts but they will take a few days to get here. Until then, this should hold up. I cannot urge you enough to seriously think about getting a newer vehicle. **_

_**Rosalie**_

I was too elated to get my truck back to pay any heed to the snarky tone at the end of the note. I turned to Edward with a huge smile. "This is great!" I grabbed Edward's hands and jumped around in a circle. "I can't thank Rosalie enough! Of course, I have to pay her back for the parts, but I have to find some way to repay her for her time and effort too."

He laughed good-naturedly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you want to be rid of me!"

"Nonsense! I enjoyed our car pools the last couple of days, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't miss having my own ride again." I gave him a playful nudge and hurriedly jumped into my truck. Unfortunately, my natural lack of grace had caused me to stumble and Edward had to grip me by the elbows to keep me from falling backwards. He chuckled and backed away as I turned the engine on and fiddled with the stereo that Emmett had installed for my birthday.

"If you don't mind, can I follow behind you until you reach your house? I know Rose said it should be fine until she gets it fully repaired, but I'd feel more comfortable if I see you get home safely."

He sounded unsure about asking me of this. In fact, Edward Cullen was actually shuffling his feet in nervousness. I recognized that he was trying very hard to respect my independence, so I relented.

"Sure, I don't mind."

* * *

><p>It was late Friday evening when I got a call from Rosalie. I had just gotten home from an excursion to Port Angeles with Angela, Ben, Mike and a few others. It had already become common knowledge that Edward and I were no longer a couple, so tonight I had been able to go out with friends without getting harassed about why he wasn't there. I was barely through the front door when Charlie's head poked around the kitchen wall and informed me that Rosalie Hale was on the phone.<p>

"Hello, Rosalie."

"Hello, Bella," she greeted in her bell-like voice. "I just called to let you know that I have the replacement parts for your truck. There will be quite a bit of work involved, so I was hoping that you could drive your truck over to my house tomorrow."

"Sure, that works for me. How much do I owe you for the parts?"

"Don't worry about the cost. I already took care of it."

Normally, I would've put up a fight to keep myself out of indebtedness, especially of the monetary kind. However, she sounded resolute and I knew better than to argue with her, since she still frightened me to some degree. "Thank you. I really appreciate all your help. I will see you tomorrow morning, then."

"Goodnight, Bella."

The next morning, I drove up to the Cullen home with butterflies in my stomach. I was really excited to see Esme and Emmett again, until I realized that the last time I was here had been on the evening of that disastrous birthday party. I gulped and focused on keeping down the bile that came up my throat.

_What are you expecting to see there, blood and broken dishes from the party? It's been almost three weeks already – get a grip!_

I clenched my teeth in determination. I badly wanted to banish the horridness of that past event from my mind. Before I reached their driveway, the figures of Rosalie and Emmett appeared in front of the house.

"Bells!" Emmett boomed as he yanked my door open. He had me in an almost death grip, as he spun me round and round in their front yard. "I'm so glad to see my kid sister!"

"Put her down, Emmett. She's looking a little green," said his beautiful wife. He chortled when he saw me clutching at my stomach.

"It had only been three weeks for Pete's sake," I croaked sending Emmett into another laughing fit. I couldn't keep myself from smiling at him, despite my nausea, because I truly missed his boisterous personality.

"Yeah… well, that's three weeks too long. You used to be here almost every day with Ed…" he stopped. Shame replaced all his mirth. "Shucks, Bells, I'm sorry to hear about you and Edward."

"No, don't be sorry. We're friends now and things are great," I reassured. I didn't want our happy reunion to get tainted by awkwardness.

"Okay, if you say so," he conceded, but he didn't look thoroughly convinced. "Esme's waiting for you inside. She baked a batch of banana nut muffins just for you. Oddly enough, they don't smell as bad as I thought they would."

"Is that right? Think you'd want to try a bite?" I teased with a waggle of my eyebrows.

"Don't even go there, Bella. He'll take a bite and then spit it out in a disgusting goop, much like a toddler would," warned Rosalie. "Anyway, I'll be in the garage with your truck." She tossed her hair and headed for the garage.

When Emmett and I walked together into the house, I stole a glance at the living room where the mayhem had taken place. Everything was immaculate, to my great relief. There were even some new furnishings dotting the room. I relaxed at the sight, and felt welcomed by the delicious smells wafting from the rarely used kitchen. Before I realized what was happening, I found myself enveloped in a loving embrace from my adoptive mother.

"Oh! It's so wonderful to see you, Bella!" Her hugs were definitely gentler and tenderer than Emmett's bear hugs.

"It's great to see you too, Esme."

"Here, please sit," she beckoned, as she placed a freshly baked muffin in front of me. "I hope they're to your liking."

"It already smells great. I'm sure it'll taste just as good." I took a bite of the muffin. Not surprisingly, it was delicious. Was there anything these vampires couldn't do?

"So, what have you been up to lately? Is school keeping you busy?"

"Yes, a little bit. I've also been spending more time with Charlie and I've gone out a few times with friends."

"Ah yes, I heard from Edward about the new tradition you've started with your father. I can imagine how happy he must be." Her eyes twinkled as she spoke. From what I've known of Esme, family had been and would remain to be of the utmost importance to her.

"I'm happy about it, too. It was a shame that I didn't make more time for him sooner. It seemed like I spent all my free time with Edward when we were together." She patted my hand in understanding and began to clean her kitchen at lightning speed. "Speaking of Edward, where is he this morning?"

"He and Carlisle went on a hunt last night. I'm guessing they'll be home later tonight."

Although I liked being in Edward and Carlisle's company, I was glad to learn about their absence that morning. I hadn't seen Emmett and Esme in so long and I was finally getting the time to focus on them. And after the kindness that Rosalie had shown me in repairing my truck, I was hoping to get to know her a little bit better, too.

"Hey, Bells, once you're done with that, you should get over here and join me for some PS3 action," yelled Emmett from the family room.

I smiled at the thought of playing video games with my burly brother. He was a notorious cheat even though he didn't need to resort to it, since I was very poor at playing games. Regardless, he was a riot to watch, so I scarfed down my muffin before skipping over to the adjoining room.

"Scoot over, bro, you can't hog the center of the TV."

He grinned and moved over a few inches before patting the space next to him. "God, I miss you, kid. I hope I won't always have to wait long between visits."

We had played several different games by the time I finally gave up and settled into the couch behind him. I must have fallen asleep because one minute I was listening to Emmett cuss endlessly at his game, and the next minute a cool hand was gently shaking my shoulders. Startled, I sat up quickly and immediately regretted it. I got a massive head rush and it caused me to flop back down with an unladylike groan.

"Wakey, wakey, Bells… time to wake up from your nappy…" cooed Emmett in a silly falsetto. He burst into laughter seconds later, only to be quickly followed by the sound of clapping thunder. "Ow, Rosie, watch it!"

"Whoa… how long was I asleep?"

"Don't pay any attention to Emmett. I don't think you were asleep that long," Rosalie replied as she held out her hand to me.

I stared at it dubiously while I contemplated on what I should do. She never once so much as passed a magazine to me before, so this unexpected gesture came as a huge surprise. She looked at me and raised a perfectly sculpted brow at my reaction.

"Don't worry, I won't bite," she said while flashing me an amused smile. "Your truck is all set to go."

She walked me to the front of the house while quickly glossing over what she did for repairs. We both knew that I was ignorant when it came to cars, but she continued to rattle on about her favorite pastime. I nodded politely when it was appropriate and I smiled to myself when she wasn't looking. This was her way of showing me that her attitude towards me was taking a more positive turn. I thanked her profusely and it seemed to please her very much.

"So did Edward tell you that Alice and Jasper will be back next week?" she asked as I prepared to leave.

"Yes, he did."

"Good. I'm planning a small 'Welcome Back' party that day – you know, just the family. I hope you can come."

"Sure, I'd love to come. But um… what exactly does a vampire 'Welcome Back' party involve?" It wasn't a stupid question, at least in my opinion. Vampires didn't have finger foods, cake and punch.

She eyed me as though she read my mind. "Esme and I redecorated their room as our gift, so it will be more like an unveiling ceremony. You know how Alice is when it comes to brand new things. I've never been to a human welcome party, but I'm guessing there's some food involved. I could get Esme to make something for you."

"Okay, count me in, but don't worry about feeding me. I'll come pre-fed."

She giggled at my comment and stepped back as she watched me get settled into my truck. As I drove away from the Cullen home, I caught sight of the beautiful vampire waving goodbye from my rearview mirror.

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><p><strong>AN (chaser):** If you're already missing our favorite blond doctor by now, he will be coming back next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Happy Easter to everyone and thank you to those who are following the story every week. As promised from my chaser note last chapter, Carlisle is back! Please enjoy and let me know how you feel as the story progresses.

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

It was raining outside again. I neither had to look out the window nor hear the soft tapping of the drops to verify it. The dampness in the air alone seemed to soak right into my bones even before the first drop had hit the ground. I tried to occupy my afternoon with a book, since school was out already for the Christmas holidays. But after half an hour of shivering in an empty house, I'd had enough. I grabbed my keys and my thickest hoodie and hoped that I would find Alice or Edward at their house. It probably would have been smarter to call first before making the drive there, but I was feeling particularly impatient.

After a few minutes of driving on the slushy roads, I finally arrived. I jumped out of the truck and hurriedly knocked on the front door, but much to my misfortune, no one came to answer. There really wasn't a point in knocking again, since it was highly unlikely that anyone of them had missed it, so I turned back into the rain towards my truck. While I chastised myself for my impulsiveness, a black Mercedes emerged from the woods that hid the house from the main road.

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle greeted warmly as he got out of his car. He quickly pulled off his coat and handed it to me. "Here, hold this over your head until we get inside."

I gratefully accepted his coat. The expensive feel of the material immediately made me feel awful for ruining it. He guided me to the house then firmly closed the door once we were safely inside.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?" Instantly, I regretted the insolent-sounding words that spewed from my mouth. It was his house, after all, and he certainly had more business being there than I did. "I mean… I've never been gladder to see you home early. Thanks for rescuing me from the rain."

He smiled kindly and took his coat from my extended arms. "Actually, I was already getting ready to go home when Alice called to tell me that you were on your way here." He scanned my appearance and frowned slightly. "You're soaked through. Perhaps you should change into something dry before we continue our conversation. Excuse me a second." He was gone and back within a few moments, offering me a towel and a small folded pile of clothing.

I hurried over to the closest washroom to dry myself, and changed into the dry clothes that Carlisle provided. The plain white tee shirt was quite loose and the dark, fleecy pants required rolling up at the hem. They looked nothing like what Alice, Rosalie or even Esme would wear. In the end, it didn't matter since they were comfortable and appropriate enough for a rainy day spent indoors.

When I entered the kitchen, I found Carlisle rummaging through the cabinets with his back turned to me. "Can I get you something to drink? Tea or coffee, perhaps?" he called over his shoulder.

"Just some water, please," I replied. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and lightly tossed it to me. "Thanks again for getting home at the perfect time, and for the dry clothes."

He looked me over quickly and a smile graced his handsome face. "You seem to wear those better than I ever would have."

I blinked uncomprehendingly at his comment. When I had wondered earlier who the clothes belonged to, it didn't occur to me at all that they could have been Carlisle's. As if on cue, an unfamiliar, but pleasant, scent wafted up my nose. It was like the comforting and cuddly smell of clean laundry with an alluring masculine note. It definitely didn't smell anything like Edward. Disconcerted at my reaction to Carlisle's scent, I began to blush.

"Would you prefer something from Alice's closet?" he asked gently when I hadn't said anything.

"No, this is great, thanks."

"So, Bella, what brings you by this afternoon? Were you supposed to meet Edward or Alice here?"

I managed to suppress a groan when I remembered my mad dash to get there. Not enthused by the idea of telling Carlisle the pathetic truth of why I was really there, I tried to think of something else to tell him. But never having been a good liar, I opted for the truth.

"No, I wasn't supposed to meet Edward or Alice today. It was quiet at home, so I decided to drop by for a visit. I really should've called first before showing up like I did. Um… I think I'll just head back home." He looked at me thoughtfully after I spoke and I felt my cheeks grow hotter.

"You don't have to go, unless you want to," he said. "I didn't have anything planned for myself this afternoon except for some light reading. If you decide to stay, your company would be most welcome."

Carlisle and I had never been alone for an extended length of time before and I wasn't sure what sort of things we had in common to occupy the next few hours. I suddenly felt apprehensive at the thought that he might find me simple and dull. Once, we had conversed about the afterlife and the existence of souls, but other than that, our conversations had mostly been limited to my injuries or some trivial family stuff. However, the thought of going back home to be alone wasn't particularly appealing. "All right, I'll stay… but only if you're sure that you wouldn't prefer a quiet afternoon reading."

"Bella, I can read anytime."

"Okay. What would you like to do?" I figured that since he asked me to stay, he might have had some ideas.

"Good question." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. The action looked so natural, so human, that I'd momentarily forgotten that I was in a room with a centuries-old vampire. "Had Edward or Alice been home, what kind of things would you have done?"

"Well, if Alice was home, she would probably coerce me into a makeover session. But considering that I was the one who came here for her company, I would have probably gone along with it. If Edward was home, I'd probably be on the sofa watching him write music."

"It sounds like both activities are fairly one-sided," he observed. "Luckily, I don't perform beauty makeovers and I'm not a particularly gifted musician to make compositions, although I do know how to play. If you like, I could teach you."

The idea of playing such a beautiful instrument sounded delightful. I had always contented myself with being an audience to Edward's private recitals and I marveled at the beautiful music he produced with his hands. It was almost a sacrilege for a blunderer like me to go anywhere near the piano, let alone touch it. "Oh, I don't know, Carlisle. Edward will kill me if I break it."

He laughed lightly. "It is more likely that I will pulverize the instrument, simply by laying a hand on the keys. Don't worry, Bella, you can't do any damage, unless you take a sledgehammer to it." He led me to the grand piano in the living room and pulled out the leather-cushioned bench. He sat on the far right of it and patted the space next to him. "Have a seat."

Gingerly, I took my place and ran my fingertips reverently on the keys. I had tinkered with an old piano before when I was very young, but I'd never had any interest in taking formal lessons. Perhaps if I had access to something as grand as Edward's instrument and had an attractive teacher like Carlisle to instruct me, my interest may have been swayed. I glanced up at him with an eager smile playing on my lips. "Okay, let's begin."

For what seemed like a couple of hours, we sat in front of Edward's piano as Carlisle taught me the basics. He began with teaching me what the keys were and how they corresponded to written music and then we moved on to some basic music theory. It had been overwhelming at first, but it was worth it when he moved on to teaching me a short simple piece.

"Yes, Bella, you're getting the hang of it!" he praised after I had finished playing the tune for the umpteenth time.

"It took me over an hour to learn that. I would hardly call it an accomplishment," I replied, but I was unable to keep myself from grinning.

"You're too hard on yourself. Besides, you seemed to have enjoyed yourself as much as I did." We stood from the bench and he closed the lid of the piano. "Perhaps we should schedule future lessons?"

I liked his suggestion so much that I almost accepted. However, the holidays were quite short and school would likely keep me busy, so I had no choice but to decline. "That would be nice, but the last semester of my senior year starts soon. I'm not sure if there will be enough time for lessons."

"That's true. Maybe we can do this again when your schedule is more manageable." We were quiet for a short while before he spoke again. "Have you already filled out your college applications?"

"I have, a few weeks ago. I applied to a few schools here in Washington and a few in Arizona and Florida."

"You're not considering any of the same schools as Edward and Alice?"

I made a face in response to his question. "I'm not exactly the Ivy League type." He raised a blond brow at my remark. "What I meant to say was that I haven't got the grades to tempt them into accepting me and there is no way I can afford the tuition for those schools."

"Education is far too important for something as small a trifle as money to get in the way of. I have already told you before that you are part of this family. It will be no problem whatsoever to fund your post-secondary education or at least help with whatever the student loans can't cover," he said carefully, perhaps to avoid sounding condescending.

"It's a very generous offer Carlisle, but you know that I can't accept. It's just that part of growing up is learning to stand on your own feet and accepting assistance all the time is counterproductive." I snuck a glance at him to see if I had insulted him.

"I completely understand, Bella, and I respect your conviction." He held his hand out to me and I placed my hand in his. "But if you're ever in need of anything, do not hesitate to ask me."

As he spoke and held my hand, I felt the faintest hint of a tingle run down my spine. Who I saw before me was more than just a host that afternoon, more than just a doctor who tended to my injuries in the past, and more than just the father figure of my friends. That afternoon I got a glimpse of Carlisle Cullen, a thoughtful, understanding and devastatingly beautiful person.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I will keep that in mind." I squeezed his hand in gratitude.

* * *

><p>Carlisle and I spent the rest of the afternoon chatting about the books in his library, while we waited for my clothes to finish up in the dryer. By the time they were ready, it was close to dusk and I declared that it was time for me to go home. It had been a surprisingly enjoyable afternoon, and I drove home feeling contented. As I neared my driveway, I spied an unexpected visitor with a mop of fair hair sitting on the stairs of the front porch. I wondered if I had forgotten something back at Carlisle's house and he had come to drop it off, but as I parked, I knew with certainty that it wasn't him waiting for me.<p>

"Jasper?" I called out after I hopped out of my truck. It had been weeks, a couple of months actually, since his and Alice's homecoming. Although we had never been close, things between Jasper and I had been more awkward than before my birthday party. There had been a few occasions when I mustered some courage and attempted to engage him in conversation. But the second he laid his eyes on me, my courage faltered and I cursed to myself for another missed opportunity to improve things between us.

He stood up as I slowly approached him. "Good evening, Bella."

"Hi," I stammered as my eyes darted towards his face and then down to the ground. "How long have you been waiting here?"

"Not long," he said. "I don't want to take up much of your time, but we need to discuss something rather important."

I nodded my assent and he began to pace with his hands clasped behind his back. With deliberate slowness, so as not to startle him, I sat on the porch steps that he had vacated moments before and waited patiently for him to continue.

"I'm aware that things have been awkward between us. At first, it was mostly because of my struggles with the diet, but as you probably know, the past weeks have been awkward because of what happened at your party."

"It doesn't have to be awkward…" I interrupted, but he whipped his gaze directly at me, effectively stopping me from speaking further.

"How can it not be awkward? I attacked you on your birthday! If no one had stopped me, you wouldn't be sitting there now," he half-growled.

I fought back a frightened tremor. "Well as it turned out, someone did stop you and I'm still here," I replied stubbornly.

"Aren't you angry or frightened at all?"

"Of course I am! I'm angry that the Fates had decided to play a cruel joke on us that night. They must've thought that a clumsy girl getting a paper cut in a room full of vampires was a real hoot." I rolled my eyes. "The only thing I'm frightened of now is continuing this state of awkwardness between us. I can't imagine how this must be affecting Alice and the family," I added softly.

"How could you forgive me for the way I've acted since we got back?" he asked. "I was cold and distant because I was too ashamed of myself to face you."

"There is nothing to forgive. I never blamed you and that was what I wanted to tell you every time I tried to approach you."

He resumed his pacing for a minute, deep in thought. By the time he stopped, his eyes had softened and a small smile began to tug on his lips. "Thank you for being so kind and understanding, Bella."

I felt the familiar heat of my blush spread on my cheeks at Jasper's compliment. His earnest words gave me hope that we were off to a good start. When I held out my hand to him in a friendly gesture, he shook his head and remained where he stood a few feet away from me. His stance looked rigid and his eyes darkened a few shades.

"I envy everyone in my family for being much at ease with you. But we mustn't forget reality; I still pose a danger to you, Bella, because I still do not possess the control that the rest of the family has around humans." He turned away from me, in the direction of his house. "I'm glad we've had a chance to talk, but I really must go now."

"Of course," I said. We've just made progress and we didn't really need to tempt the Fates again by testing Jasper's control.

Without further ado, he disappeared into the forest just as I began to feel the unpleasant cold of the damp day seep into my bones. The old wood of the porch steps had absorbed some of the day's precipitation and it left my pants rather damp. Rather than grumble about the lousy weather of Forks, I got up and retrieved from my truck a bag containing the shirt and fleece pants I wore earlier. Carlisle had insisted that I keep them since he claimed that they suited me. For the second time that day, the now familiar scent of Carlisle reached my nose. I inhaled deeply, savoring the comfort that it brought.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **The following chapter fast forwards to the end of Bella's senior year. Please note the usual disclaimer that I do not own Twilight nor do I profit from anything relating to my fanfic. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy.

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

The final semester of my senior year proved to be some of the busiest months of my existence, just as I had predicted on the afternoon I spent with Carlisle. I wanted to complete high school with good grades, so I spent extra hours poring over my books. Unfortunately, it took some time away from doing anything else, including special dinner nights with Charlie. It had downgraded from a weekly affair to something more sporadic and I worried that I had disappointed him. But after a while, I realized that he kept up our tradition in his own way. When he suspected that school had been particularly intense that week, he ordered takeout from my favorite places to eat or he brought home baked goods that he knew I was fond of.

Things continued to go smoothly between me and Edward, and my friendship with Alice seemed to have not changed at all, despite her short absence with Jasper back in the fall. I was thankful that I still got to see them at school, especially since my visits to their house were limited to the rare days when I wasn't busy with my studies. At first, Emmett complained how we'd never kept our promise of not waiting too long between visits. He got over it quickly enough after I appeased him with a couple rounds on his favorite console game. Eventually, Emmett-and-Bella time began to include his beautiful wife. Since the day that she had helped me out with my truck, her manner towards me warmed drastically. She had even insisted that I call her 'Rose' like the rest of the family and offered to take me, along with Emmett, car browsing one day. Apparently, she had not forgotten the advice that she had given me a while back to look for newer vehicle possibilities.

Time not spent being monopolized by Emmett and Rose was spent with Esme. Usually, we chatted over tea about my studies, Charlie, or her latest remodeling projects. When I admitted to not seeing my friends as often as I used to, she expressed some motherly concern.

"You know, Bella, you are only this age once in your life," she reminded me gently. I choked back a snort as I recalled the former possibility of becoming a vampire and freezing myself forever at eighteen. She smiled at me, having guessed my thoughts correctly. "I'm serious. Studying and getting high grades are good, but not at the cost of your time to be happy and have some enjoyment."

While other members of the family would sometimes join in my conversations with Esme, it didn't escape my notice that Carlisle was the only one who didn't. In fact, I couldn't recall a time when he and Esme were present at the same time during my visits. I didn't think much of it at first, since I was hardly there. However, when I came upon her one time looking unusually sullen, I decided to share my observation with Alice.

"She got into another fight with Carlisle," Alice said matter-of-factly. "It's the second time this month."

"Esme and Carlisle have been fighting? What could it possibly be about?" I asked, shocked at my friend's revelation.

"To be honest, I don't know. When Jasper senses that an argument's about to start, we leave the house to give them privacy."

"I wonder if it went on longer than that. I don't remember seeing them together in a while."

Alice regarded me with an expression that looked as though she was thinking of a way to assuage my concern. "They've been together for many decades, Bella. Couples tend to argue once in a while. Jasper and I argue, as do Rose and Emmett," she reasoned. "It will blow over… it did before."

I wasn't entirely convinced by Alice's reassurances, but I had to accept the fact that she had known them much longer than I did. If Carlisle and Esme had hit a rough patch before and got through it, there really was no reason to believe that they couldn't work it out again. From across the room, Jasper sat silently as he listened to the conversation. When our eyes met, I recognized the same dubious look that I surely had moments ago.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe this is all over," Angela murmured as she stifled a small sob.<p>

We were waiting outside the school gymnasium along with the rest of the senior class, while the teachers struggled to get everyone organized. Emotions ran high in every direction, as was to be expected on graduation. The majority of the kids wore huge smiles and chattered loudly about their future plans, and a few, like Angela, were a tad melancholy over the bittersweet milestone.

"Yeah, it sure is," I replied. "In another two months we'll start a new chapter in our lives."

She smiled at me, evidently cheered by what I said. We were both accepted into the University of Washington and we made plans to rent a small apartment together just off campus. Charlie was thrilled that I had chosen to go to school in Seattle, since it was still close enough to visit each other once or twice a month. But he was even happier to learn that I had planned on cohabiting with a good friend from Forks instead of sharing rooms with a bunch of "wild college kids." I bit back the urge to giggle at the memory.

"Hi, girls!" Jessica called out as she took her place in line in front of me. "Are you going to Tyler's after-grad party tonight?"

"I'll probably come a bit late with Ben," Angela answered. "How about you, Bella? Come! It should be fun."

"Nah, I think I'll pass."

"How can you pass up a good party on your grad night?" Jessica piped in with an exaggerated roll of her heavily painted eyes. "Do you have other plans or something?"

"No, I'm just not in the party mood tonight," I replied, trying to sound unaffected by her impertinence. There was no point in getting into a tiff with her when we wouldn't be seeing each other much after high school. Jessica was accepted into the same university as us, but fortunately she was also accepted by one of the colleges in California as well. Not surprisingly, she'd chosen the sunnier state for her post-secondary education, no doubt to work on her tan or pursue an acting career on the side.

"Ah, well. It's your loss." She turned away from me as though as I was no longer worthy of attention.

Closer to the gymnasium entrance, Edward waved at me while Alice appeared to be busy with her phone next to him. I waved back and was rewarded with his signature crooked smile, only for it to contort into an unmistakable frown. In front me, I caught a glimpse of Jessica waving at Edward, who had likely mistaken his gesture as meant for her. She stopped and quickly looked disdainfully between me and Edward. "Figures," she hissed under her breath.

The ceremony went by quickly and without a hitch. One by one each student was called up to the stage to receive their diploma, followed by various combinations of claps, cheers, whistles, and even catcalls – depending on the student's popularity. After the graduation caps had been tossed en masse with a flourish, I felt strong, warm arms enclose me in a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Bells!" Charlie said. His voice was thick with emotion. "It's too bad your mother couldn't come up to be a part of this."

"It's okay, Dad. Things couldn't be helped," I replied as I pictured Renee playing nurse to her injured husband back in Florida. "I'll call her later and give her the play-by-play." He hugged me once more before straightening up to allow Alice to sneak in and snake her arms around my waist.

"Congratulations, Bella! How does it feel to be a high school graduate?" she gushed.

"It feels oddly liberating!" I gasped against her tight embrace. "Well, the school part is… but not your hugs."

We both laughed gleefully as Charlie watched on with an amused expression. Soon after, the rest of the Cullens had us surrounded and the onslaught of camera flashes began. While Rose took photo after photo, I stole a glance towards Carlisle and Esme. Both were impeccably dressed as they stood beside each other with their hands clasped together – the perfect image of a happy, handsome couple.

"Now that you're free from studying, what do you have planned for the summer, Bella?" whispered Edward after he sidled next to me.

"I'm not sure yet," I said as a flash came our way, causing spots to cloud my vision. "I still have those plane tickets that your parents gave me on my birthday. It's probably a good time to use them and see my mom before school starts all over again."

"That's a great idea. Have you decided on whom to take with you?"

Before I could open my mouth to answer, an all too familiar squeal escaped Alice's lips. "Oh, I'd love to come with you!" She bounced excitedly on the spot and stopped when she saw the grins that passed between me and Edward. "What? I saved you the trouble of verbalizing it. I already knew you were going to ask me."

About an hour after the flurry of photos and well wishes with my classmates, the crowd began to dissipate. With a final hug and congratulations from each of them, the Cullens took their leave, except for Edward. He decided to stay behind with me while I waited for Charlie to finish a conversation with a few concerned citizens. Apparently, there had been sightings of an unusually large bear in the area.

"It's hard to believe that more than a year has already passed since we met in Biology," Edward murmured as we leaned on Charlie's cruiser in the parking lot. "To think that in a few months, we'll be parting ways. It's going to be so different, Bella."

"It will be different all right, but it's still a few months away." I captured his hand and squeezed it tenderly. "You haven't told me yet what your plans are going to be this summer."

He pulled me closer and placed an arm casually around my shoulders. "In a couple of weeks, I'm flying out to New Hampshire with Esme and Rose to scope out some houses. But aside from that, I have no other plans. I'm hoping that you and I can spend some time together before we both leave town."

"Yeah, I'd like that. If it's okay with Angela, maybe you can come along with us to look for an apartment near campus," I suggested. He nodded his assent just as Charlie approached us. He let go of me and put a respectable distance between us.

"Your family has gone home already, Edward?" Charlie inquired somewhat stiffly.

"Yes, sir, they have." He pushed himself off the cruiser and straightened his jacket. "I should be going as well. Goodnight, Bella. Goodnight, Chief Swan."

"Bye, Edward," Charlie said as I waved. He gave us a nod and gracefully entered his car.

"Are you sure that you and that boy are just friends?"

"Yes, Dad. It's been many, many months since he and I broke up. Have I given you any reason to doubt that?" I was curious why Charlie brought it up out of the blue.

He shook his head and opened the passenger door for me. Unlike a vampire, it took him more than a few seconds to enter the car on his side and get settled in. "No you haven't, but he has."

I raised a brow, surprised by his answer. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," he squirmed, clearly uncomfortable by the very subject that he brought up. "It's the way he looks at you – like you are the sun. And it is obvious that he cares about you." He stopped and swallowed a lump in his throat. "Maybe I'm just being over protective of my only daughter."

"I understand, Dad, but don't worry about me and Edward. We're just friends." We both smiled uncomfortably, in silent agreement to end the subject.

* * *

><p>The entirety of my summer vacation was far from idle. Shortly after graduation, Alice and I managed to book our flights right away and we flew to Florida to see my mother. To say that Renee was thrilled to see us would've been an understatement. The last time she saw me, and the only other time that she met Alice, had been under very different circumstances back in Phoenix. Not long after the hugs and greetings, the two of them chatted amiably with each other about everything and it seemed like they only stopped when it was time to sleep. I enjoyed seeing them get along so well, and it was a relief that Renee didn't appear to have noticed anything strange about my unnaturally pretty travel companion.<p>

When we got back from our trip, I was fortunate to get a temporary position at the local library. The pay wasn't very much, but I liked the hours. While I was kept busy during business hours, I had the evenings and most of the weekends free to spend with friends and family. Charlie was more than pleased when special dinner nights got reestablished, and because I knew how limited my time would be once school starts up again, I increased the frequency to twice a week. When he was working late or gone fishing with Billy, I alternated between visiting the Cullens and working with Angela on finding a suitable place to live. Before I knew it, weeks had come and gone, an apartment in Seattle had been secured, and I had begun to pack some of my earthly belongings in boxes.

"Hey, Dad!" I hollered toward my open door. "Are you sure you don't want me to store away my things in the attic?"

Charlie appeared within seconds and tossed another box on my bed. "Why would you want to do that? It's still your room even if you move to Seattle."

"I know, I know. It's the only other room in the house with a bed. What if you have a guest that needs to stay overnight?" I gestured toward the various personal effects I had around the room.

"Bella, when will I ever have an overnight visitor?" he asked. "Besides, even if someone had to stay, he or she is having the couch. This is your room and no one stays here but you."

He ruffled my hair affectionately before leaving me to continue packing. Of course Charlie wouldn't let just anyone in my room. Although he was a fiercely private person, I knew he was also very sentimental. It was evident in the way the house remained relatively the same as it did before my mother left him with me in tow. Suddenly, I felt sad that he would be all alone again after less than two years of having me back, so I vowed to make every effort to visit him as often as possible.

Satisfied with packing away my school books and other Forks High paraphernalia, I turned my attention to the clothes in my closet. Tucked away at the back were designer outfits that Alice had given me on various occasions. Some looked too flashy, and a couple looked so smart that I could probably make better use of them on a job interview. There was no way I was going to take them with me, so I pushed them further back and grabbed clothes that I deemed Bella-appropriate college wear. As I finished folding and packing away the majority of I what wanted to bring, a small bag at the bottom of the closet caught my eye. Having forgotten what was inside, I reached in and pulled out a plain shirt and sweat pants.

My mind was immediately transported back to a rainy afternoon spent in front of Edward's piano. I could feel my fingers thrum at the memory of touching the smooth black and white keys, and how they had trembled from both excitement and nervousness at playing the wrong notes. Carlisle had sat patiently beside me, occasionally resting a hand on my shoulder encouragingly. He had been delighted when I finally got the piece right after what seemed like hours of plugging away at the instrument. The smile he'd given was radiant and I liked seeing it on him very much.

When I saw Carlisle on graduation day, I had hoped to see that radiance again. I hadn't been able to help being a little envious of how beautiful he and Esme had looked as they stood together hand in hand. They'd appeared to be happy, but their smiles weren't as resplendent as they could be… at least Carlisle's hadn't been, now that I had something to compare it to.

_Were they still having problems then?_

I shook my head, not liking the direction my thoughts went. They would work things out, and it was really none of my business. But for their sake and that of the rest of the family, I sincerely hoped that they were happy and desperately in love with each other. Hastily, I shoved the clothes back in the bag and returned it at the bottom of the closet just as I heard my cell phone buzz.

"Bella, I hope you are almost finished packing for the day," trilled a familiar voice. "You didn't forget about this afternoon did you?"

"Of course not, Alice. I just need to get cleaned up a little."

"Good. I'll be by in half an hour, okay?"

True to her word, Alice was at my doorstep in exactly thirty minutes just as I had finished getting dressed. We drove to her house at breakneck speed and I was greeted by every member of the household. Unbidden, my eyes drifted to Carlisle, and because of the thoughts I had earlier that day, my cheeks began to grow warm.

"You're looking rather flush, Bella. Are you feeling all right?" asked Edward as he drew me to the side.

"I'm fine… just a little tired and emotional with all the packing and stuff."

"I know what you mean. We've been packing as well."

I finally took stock of my surroundings and was saddened for the second time that day. The house was bare except for the sofa and a few chairs. Seeing the house like that made everything so final. We were all leaving very soon, but in separate directions. Charlie would be waiting for me to visit at home at least a couple of times a month, but my second home in Forks would be empty for many decades to come. I felt a lump form on my throat. As though he read my mind, Edward steered me back to where the rest of the family had gathered and engaged in cheerful conversation. When it neared time for me to go home, the mood in the room became noticeably subdued. Esme engulfed me in her slender but deceivably strong arms and Emmett had to pry her away from me only to take her place. Eventually, the rest of the family got their turn at farewell and soon after, I was on my way home in Edward's Volvo. He was quiet, probably in deep thought. It reminded me of the drive home back in September, except we weren't fighting this time.

"Thanks for taking me home, Edward," I said as we turned the corner to my street.

"It's my pleasure, Bella." He stopped the car a few blocks away from my house and turned to me. He smiled somewhat dolefully and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering. "I want to look at you like this one more time."

"It's not like we won't see each other ever again," I laughed nervously. For the first time in months, his eyes held a look beyond friendship. Perhaps his emotions were getting the better of him, but I was acutely aware of how close we were to that line I didn't want to cross. I couldn't allow that to happen – not when we were about to say goodbye.

"You're right," he replied while reaching for one of my hands. He studied it, turning it over and running his fingers on my palm. "Bella, can I ask for one last thing before I drop you off at your house?"

"Of course –" I began to say just as he unexpectedly leaned in and pressed his cool lips on mine. I didn't know how to respond, so I sat very still hoping that he would understand why I didn't return his kiss. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally drew back and drove the short distance to my house. I was about to explain my thoughts and feelings but stopped when he turned to me looking ashamed.

"You don't have to say or do anything. I'm sorry I made things awkward just a while ago."

I nodded my head to acknowledge his apology. Apparently, words had completely evaded me.

"I'm really going to miss you," he whispered. "Is it all right if I call you once we've settled in the new house?"

"Of course," I managed to say. These would be my last moments with Edward in a long time and I didn't want to be dumb. "I'm really going to miss you too."

"We'll talk often on the phone and send emails."

"Yes, we'll do that," I agreed and got out of the car.

As I watched him drive away, I felt my heart ache. Even with daily phone calls, emails and occasional visits, I wasn't foolish enough to believe that things between me and the Cullens would remain the same. Edward told me before that vampires do not forget and do not change, but humans do. I will form connections with new friends, gain new experiences, and create new memories that will not include them. Ultimately, I would be the cause of any changes in my relationship with them. I sighed, knowing its inevitability, so I walked into my house resigned to whatever the future held for me.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **This chapter fast forwards four years to the summer after Bella's college graduation.

Thank you for all those who left wonderful reviews and for continuing to read the story.

Please note the usual disclaimer that I do not own Twilight nor do I profit from anything relating to my fanfic... this is just totally fun!

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

I let out a sigh of relief as the door of the small restaurant closed behind me. Considering that the place only got busy in the evenings, it had been unusually packed for a Friday afternoon. I sucked in a huge breath, relishing the fresh breeze. While the city was known for having eternally wet weather, Vancouver was by no means as dreary as Forks. It was larger, livelier, and more diverse, very much like Seattle. Once my messenger bag was secure across my chest, I walked the short distance to Robson. There I could enjoy the sights and sounds of the locals and tourists that crowded the popular street. The time on my watch indicated that it was still too early to go back to the apartment, so I stopped by a gelateria to pick up a cone of strawberry and cantaloupe gelato.

As I watched a group of tourists disagree over which direction to go, my cell phone started to ring. "Hello?"

"People-watching again?"

"Yep, I definitely am. It was surprisingly busy at the restaurant this afternoon. Since the weather's so nice, I thought it might be a good way to unwind," I said feeling a grin form on my lips.

"Sounds relaxing, but do you think you'll be home soon?"

"Yeah, I think I'll go now. I'm out of gelato," I replied as I licked the remnants off my fingers.

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye." I grabbed my bag and walked to the nearest Sky Train station. It was the fastest way to get home, though not the cheapest mode of transportation. Most of the time, I was content with taking the bus everywhere, but it was much slower with so many more stops to pick up and drop off passengers. It even slows down to a crawl during rush hours.

As the train sped its way above the congested streets, I watched the urban horizon sweep across the window. It had only been a month since I arrived and it already felt homey to me. Perhaps it had to do with all the time I spent exploring the city whenever Mrs. Li didn't need me. I smiled warmly at the thought of the kindly old woman who owned the restaurant that I had just spent the afternoon in. Her niece, Elsie, introduced us one afternoon. Mrs. Li seemed to have taken an immediate liking to me. When she learned that I was in Vancouver on a rather lengthy visit, she invited me drop by her restaurant whenever I felt bored. What began as a polite social call soon turned into a near regular visit, and she always entreated me to try some of the most delicious and exotic dishes I've ever tasted. Not wanting to take advantage of her kindness, I began to help out by cleaning up tables or helping the cooks with washing the produce. She surprised me one day when she pressed a few colorful bills in my hand. Embarrassed to accept payment, I tried to refuse without hurting her feelings.

"You worked like the rest of the workers. Of course I have to pay you," she had insisted.

"No! The things I do here barely covers the cost of the food I eat."

"Bella, take the money, please. It would make me happy." End of conversation.

Sighing, I had folded the cash and stuffed it into my pocket. The last thing I wanted was to upset or insult her, especially since she was one of the very few people I knew, my boyfriend included.

Evan and I met through mutual acquaintances when I was in my third year of college. He was a Canadian graduate student who had come to the school to take part in a special project for the Computing Science department. Since I majored in English, we never had many opportunities to run into each other on campus. However, at some point in time, he had become a regular at the coffee shop where I worked. We joked and flirted with each other, and before I knew it, we were dating. It was easy being around Evan; I've never felt self-conscious in his presence. Even though I teased him mercilessly for being a computer nerd, he was fairly well-read, which appealed to me very much.

As our relationship grew more serious, I began to secretly dread the day that he would have to go back home. There were a few times when I thought about discussing it with him, but my nerves seemed to get the better of me. Clinginess wasn't a flattering trait, so I kept my concerns to myself until the day that he told me about the job he had been offered back in Canada.

"When are you going back?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level while my heart pounded.

"Not right away. I still have to complete my part of the project here." He looked at me curiously then cupped my cheek with his hand. "Bella, honey, we can't avoid that topic any longer."

So he had been thinking about it too… I nodded, and then leaned into his hand as my tears fell heavily. We spoke at length that day, trying to figure out what we wanted. There were no doubts about how much we cared for each other, and we didn't want to end things between us. However, even though we had been seeing each other for a little over a year at the time, it still seemed too early in the relationship to consider permanent residency in either countries. In the end, we decided that I would join him in Vancouver to spend the summer months after my graduation. It didn't come as a surprise to anyone. Charlie justified it as an opportunity for me to have a breather before I start applying for a steady job and making loan payments. Angela was less subtle and practically pushed me onto the plane. Having watched us over the past year, she felt it was necessary to spend time with Evan, at least until we figure out what to do on a more permanent basis. A trial period, she had called it.

I was pulled from my reverie when the train reached my stop. After a brisk walk, I finally reached the apartment building. My suite was a few floors up, but I headed for the stairs instead to work off some of the extra helpings that Mrs. Li had snuck into my bowl earlier. As soon as I walked in the door I felt strong arms wrap around my middle from behind. I leaned back for a moment, reveled in the warmth of the embrace, and then twisted around to face Evan. "Hi. It's nice to be home," I managed to say before our lips met.

"Mmm… you taste like strawberries," he said after releasing me.

"Strawberries and cantaloupe to be exact."

"What no peking-style pork chops today?"

I smirked and deposited my bag next to the couch. "What are you doing home so early? Not that I'm complaining, of course."

Evan often worked long hours, and sometimes he was at the office on the weekends as well, especially when he had a deadline. Although occasionally he had the option to work at home, he preferred to go into the office where he can fully concentrate on his tasks. At some level, I was somewhat dismayed by how little we actually saw each other in the daytime, but each night, when he crawled into bed, I would forget my woes and enjoy the feeling of having him next to me.

"I finished my tasks earlier than expected, so I thought I'd hurry home to my lady love." He grabbed a stack of paper sitting on the counter and began to sort through them as I examined the contents of the fridge.

"Do you want to have the leftover beef stew for dinner? I can pop to the store quickly for some buns," I offered.

He shook his head in mock offence. "Leftovers for my lady? Unthinkable!" I rolled my eyes and playfully chucked the dish towel at his head. He caught it easily enough and tossed it by the sink. "I was thinking of going out tonight for dinner. It's been ages since we had this much time together."

"Agreed. Mind if I step into the shower first?" As much as I loved the food at the restaurant where I pseudo-worked, I didn't necessarily want to wear it on me like perfume.

"Sure, no rush." He looked me up and down as I shed my cardigan. "Hmmm, perhaps you want a shower buddy?" he said, waggling his brows.

I laughed at his suggestion and closed the door of the bathroom. If we wanted to eat at a timely hour, it wasn't a good idea to have him join me, although it had been a while since we'd been _together_. All those long hours he spent at the office had also left me feeling a little homesick, especially after the initial excitement of being in my new surroundings had already faded. As I began rinsing the shampoo off, a small trail of suds dribbled into my eye. "Ouch!" I cried and quickly splashed some water to wash it off. I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and stared at it for a few moments. Peach. It wasn't my usual brand or my usual scent. Earlier that week, I ran out of my favorite shampoo that I had brought with me from Washington. It annoyed me to no end when I had discovered that the stores here didn't carry that particular brand.

"Bella? Are you okay in there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be right out," I replied and quickly placed the bottle back on the shower ledge.

By the time I finished toweling myself dry, my good spirits had already returned. Deciding against the usual jeans and shirt, I dressed myself in a skirt and a very feminine top with fluttery short sleeves. It was date night, after all. When I found Evan glued to his mobile device, I felt suddenly mischievous and struck a coquettish pose against the doorway.

"Ahem."

He looked up, his jaw dropping a little. The sight was so comical that I could no longer keep up the ridiculous act. Laughing, I strode over to where he sat and nudged his jaw shut.

"You look... wow…" he said as he pulled me onto his lap. He brushed his nose along my jaw and down my throat. "New shampoo?"

I nodded and he placed a soft kiss on the crook of my neck where some of my slightly damp hair had gathered. "I like it," he said in a low, husky voice that usually caused my heart to skip a beat. His hand began to graze my arms and I felt a pleasant shiver on my spine.

"Do you think we can just order in?" I asked suggestively while I ran my hands up and down his back in turn.

"Good idea, but maybe much, _much_ later," he replied before capturing my lips in a searing kiss.

* * *

><p>Early the next day, the rich aroma of coffee wafted into the bedroom. I stretched out and felt only pillows and blankets, which didn't surprise me. Regardless of the day in the week, Evan was an early riser. I got dressed and walked to the kitchen in search for my wonderful man and the heavenly brew that I craved every morning. He sat in front of his laptop already typing away and I secretly hoped it wasn't work related. He did say yesterday that he was as good as free… at least for the next little while. While I filled my cup, I watched his brow crease in concentration. He must've been barely out of bed before he plunked himself in front of the screen because his dark hair was still rumpled. From the far recesses of my mind, an image of a boy with stylishly messy bronze hair emerged. It was soon after followed by images of the rest of his beautiful alabaster-skinned family. It had been so long since I was in touch with Edward or any of the Cullens.<p>

I thought back to the week when Angela and I moved into our apartment, over four years ago. Edward called just as he had promised. I kept in touch with him and Alice the most, and occasionally I heard from Emmett, Rose and Jasper as well. We talked about our schools, people we'd met, fashion, cars – you name it. Alice even came to visit me during my first spring break, but Edward didn't come along. He and I still continued to keep in touch, mostly by email, but I noticed that even that got less and less by the time I was well into my second year of college. My correspondence with Alice was a bit better but that too diminished and our conversations became less intimate. It was disappointing, but it wasn't really a shock either, since deep down I knew that time would wear on a long-distance relationship.

"Hey, babe. I didn't see you standing there."

I must've been staring off to space. Evan looked at me quizzically, his dark-rimmed glasses slightly crooked. I crossed the kitchen to where he sat, and combed my fingers through his unruly hair. "Sorry, I should've said something. I guess I just got lost in my thoughts."

"Let me just finish going through my messages and I'll join you for another cup of coffee." Absently, he handed me a small stack of mail that he had sorted through yesterday. "I think there's something there for you from Angela."

I sat down and flipped through some flyers until I came across a postcard. On the front was a picture of stark white buildings with blue rooftops overlooking a deep blue ocean. The backside had Angela's neat handwriting that said "Wish you were here… but then again maybe not! Enjoying the honeymoon! We'll talk soon." I smiled at the short message that fully conveyed her happiness at finally becoming Mrs. Cheney.

Although Angela and Ben settled in Seattle, they were married two weeks ago back home in Forks. Their wedding had almost been like a high school reunion except for a few college friends who were in attendance as well. Jessica had appeared noticeably tanned, undoubtedly from years of constant sun exposure, and Lauren Mallory had sported a rather large baby bump. At some point during the ceremony, I spotted Mike Newton beside a petite woman, who had worn a flashy diamond on her ring finger. There were many more familiar faces at the wedding, but most notably absent were the Cullens, to no one's surprise. Angela had sent an invitation to Edward and Alice, but they politely declined, citing a conflict in their schedules. They did, however, send a beautiful gift of exquisite crystal to wish the couple well.

"Bella! It's so nice to see you after all these years," Jessica had gushed during the reception. She was flanked by Lauren, who looked about ready to give birth. "I guess you and Edward never did get back together, hmm?"

I threw a sidelong glance at Evan who was chatting with Charlie by the refreshment table a short distance away. "No, we didn't." I didn't feel it necessary to elaborate on my love life.

"Is he the one that replaced Edward?" she forged ahead, unheeded by my clipped tone. "He's pretty good looking. Think after today he'll pop the question?"

It was a miracle that I managed to smile instead of wince at her comment. Though the idea of marriage had occurred to me before, Evan and I had never openly broached the subject. Up until recently, we had only thought about what we would do about our living circumstances. Unfortunately, Jessica's insinuation had me worried that others might be thinking the same thing, especially Charlie. He liked Evan and they got along very well. It might not be long before he would start asking when Evan and I would make things official.

"Leave her alone, Jess," said Lauren. "Not everyone needs to get married in order to be in a committed relationship." She rubbed her belly lovingly. "Tyler and I have no plans to get married. We have enough on our hands with the baby coming."

I nearly gaped at her words. Jessica and Lauren used to be so alike, so flippant, that I began to wonder what had happened over the years that would cause such a noticeable difference in her. Regardless of the reason, I was thankful to her for rescuing me from Jessica's questions. The least I could do was ask about her condition. "How far along are you, Lauren?"

"I'm about 36 weeks. The baby is free to come out any time after 38 weeks, but the doctor said that first-time pregnancies tend to go a little bit longer than that." She moved her hand to her lower back, a small grimace forming on her slightly flushed face. "I really hope the baby comes out sooner rather than later. He's a heavy little guy." As if on cue, Tyler Crowley was behind her. He said a quick hello and guided Lauren to a nearby chair so she could get off her swollen feet.

"Well, I never thought Lauren would start having babies so young." Jessica sighed and watched the parents-to-be interact with each other. Her gaze looked almost wistful, as though she envied their relationship. All too soon, she was back to her haughty self and turned back to me. "If Mr. Good-looking doesn't propose soon, you better do something about it yourself. Trust me, someone will come along one day and steal him right under your nose." She cast a blatantly lustful glance at my boyfriend before sauntering off to mingle with the other guests.

Jessica's warning had unsettled me and the feeling remained well after the wedding. While I watched Evan put his laptop away, I wondered if anything she said had any merit. Surely he wouldn't be easily tempted by another woman. We cared for each other; we were committed in this relationship. However, Jessica had a point. I was only here for a couple of months and I would have to go back to the states, before long. If I were to stay, I would have to make arrangements for permanent residency and that would entail government forms, moving all my earthly belongings, and saying goodbye to Charlie. I shook my head in an attempt to quell the storm of thoughts that ran through my mind.

"I heard about an awesome farmer's market up in North Van. Think you're up for it?"

"Yeah that sounds like fun," I replied as I gathered the cups and placed them in the sink.

* * *

><p>Unlike the day before, it was overcast. However, the clouds didn't deter anyone from shopping since the outdoor market was more crowded than I had expected. The rows of tables were laden with all sorts of greenhouse produce, baked goods, and crafts. About half an hour after our arrival, Evan's phone rang and he excused himself to a quieter area of the market to take the call. I've long since learned that if someone at work called him, it could be a while before the conversation would end. In all honesty, all the computer talk really bored me to tears and I would rather not stick around to listen to it. As I roamed the market by myself, I came upon a table with a variety of pies. I picked up a card and looked at the name of the pie.<p>

"Saskatoon berry pie?" I said aloud, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, have you tried it?" the girl who worked the table asked.

"I haven't actually tried it before, but I have heard of it."

"We have samples over here." She gestured to a plate filled with an assortment of pies cut into bite-sized squares.

I took one of the Saskatoon berry pie squares and popped it into my mouth, closing my eyes to savor it. It was delicious, almost like blueberries, but sweeter. While I deliberated on buying a full pie plate to take home for dessert that night, my nose caught a scent that caused my breathing to hitch. Warm laundry. Masculine. It was familiar but I couldn't quite remember where I knew it from. I spun around hoping to spot the source of the scent. There was a man pushing a cart full of vegetables, a woman holding her baby, an old couple haggling with a vendor, and many, many shoppers. None of them seemed to match what I sensed. Frowning, I wondered if I had just imagined it.

"Um… did you want to try another type of pie?"

I focused my attention back to the girl behind me. "Sorry about that. I'll have one of the Saskatoon berry pies, please."

After I had paid for my treat, I traced my way back to where I had last seen Evan. Sure enough, he was still glued to his phone looking exasperated. When I touched his free arm gently to let him know that I had returned, he smiled and scooted over so that I could sit next to him. While I waited, my eyes unintentionally strayed to the throng of shoppers in the market area. Though I could not explain why, something in me wanted, even yearned, to find the source of that wonderful scent.

"Finally! I'm turning this damned phone off," my companion announced with disgust. He gave me a conciliatory kiss on the cheek. "Sorry about that, babe. I didn't mean to waste our time together by arguing with one of the designers. Looks like you got something already."

"Yes. I thought we could have pie for dessert later."

"Do you want to still look around, or are you done here?"

"I think I'm done." I took one last look around before finally giving up my search. "Let's go home."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Thanks again for reading and leaving reviews. Please note the usual disclaimers.

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

"Aw, Angela… you shouldn't have! This is absolutely beautiful!"

"Don't be silly. It's just a small gift."

I rolled my eyes before turning them again to the small bronzed Greek theatre mask that Angela had brought back from her honeymoon. "Okay, fine. But for the record, as much as I love the souvenir, I'm happy to have you here for a visit." I reached out and squeezed her hand. "I can't believe it's been so long since we've been under the same roof."

"I missed you a lot, too, Bella. As much as I love Ben and having our own place, I have to admit that I miss having you as my roomie. You're a wiz in the kitchen and so tidy."

"Uh-oh… what heinous habit have you discovered?"

"Socks!" she half yelled. "Dozens of socks everywhere! Under the bed, behind the toilet, between the couch cushions, you name it. And they never hide in pairs. I can't believe I didn't know this about him before."

I burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of my best friend's plight. My mind conjured up an image of a mountain-sized pile of socks in the middle of their living room with Angela dumping more into it using a wheelbarrow. I hadn't realized that I was still cracking up and clutching at my sides until I caught sight of Angela frowning at me. "Sorry," I muttered sheepishly.

"Okay, now that you're all spent from laughing – at my expense – I'm going to turn the tables and ask how things are going with you." She tilted her head toward the living room where Evan and Ben sat in front of the TV chatting. Obviously, Angela wasn't inquiring about my health.

"We still haven't figured out what to do," I replied, all mirth drained from my voice.

"Bella, you do realize that you originally planned to go back home in three weeks, right?" She eyed me for a few moments. "Are you planning to stay here longer?"

"No, I'm not. I mean, I don't know…" My neck and cheeks began to feel warm.

"Haven't you and Evan discussed this at all? I thought that was part of the reason in coming here for the summer months." Her gaze softened. "Look, Bella, I care about you. I don't mean to give a lecture, but you can't leave your life in suspended mode forever. You have to figure out where you'll live and how you'll support yourself. I'm not saying he isn't already helping, but honey, you have to be able to do that on your own, too. Unless you have concrete plans to stay here, there isn't much in the way of having some independence."

Not having anything to say to the contrary, I simply nodded my head. She was absolutely right; Evan and I have to have the talk.

After our guests had retired for the evening, I mulled over how to bring up the subject. It was strange that after a few months of living together, we were only going to start discussing how we would move forward. When I first arrived back in May, it seemed like a shame to spoil our happiness with questions regarding who will give up what to live together. As things got busier at work for Evan, I didn't have the heart to drag him into a heavy conversation. I didn't realize how much I procrastinated until my time had nearly run out and it took my best friend to remind me just how little time was left. I bit my lip as he crawled under the sheets next to me. I hated what I was about to do, but I had to start sometime or I may never have the courage to bring it up again until it's too late.

"Can we talk about something for a bit?"

"Sure, babe. What's on your mind?" He sounded tired, but he sat up and looked at me.

I dropped my gaze to my hands and twisted my fingers together. "Well… I think we've put this conversation off for far too long already and –" I began only to be cut off by the buzzing sound of a cell phone. He reached back to his nightstand and peered at the caller ID display.

"Bella, I have to take this call. I won't be long."

Annoyed by the interruption, I couldn't bite my tongue fast enough to prevent my complaint. "Is work seriously calling you at this hour? You've got to be kidding me!"

"Yeah, just hang on okay?" He grabbed the offensive device and walked out of the bedroom. Although he already spoke too quietly for me to understand anything, I heard the distinct sound of the front door closing. That was new. Was there something he didn't want me to hear? I sighed, and chastised myself for being paranoid. He was only being considerate of me and our guests in the spare room. Why else would he take his call outside of the apartment?

The clock read half past midnight and I wondered who would have the audacity to call so late. I mentally ran through a short list of people from his work who had called him before on his personal cell. It might be his team leader, Marco, but Evan had mentioned that he and his wife took off for the Bahamas a couple of days ago, so it probably wasn't him. Perhaps it was his obnoxious project manager, whose name I couldn't recall, but he never made a habit out of calling past nine o' clock. I shifted uncomfortably on the bed when my mind settled on Nick. I've never met him, but from what I gathered in my conversations with Evan, Nick was a relatively new team member. Lately, he had been calling about this and that and I didn't think much about it because he probably needed a lot of guidance. But when I came to think on it some more, he had been calling quite late in the evenings and instead of the calls becoming less, it had only increased over the last couple of weeks. I furrowed my brows at this realization, becoming more disturbed by the second when I felt the bed dip down.

"Hi, I'm back."

"Was it Nick who called?"

"Um, yeah… Everything's good now." He yawned and smiled sleepily at me. "Honey, think we can take a rain check on that talk? I'm bushed."

"Okay, I guess," I replied and curled up on my side of the bed facing away from him.

* * *

><p>Angela and Ben had only stayed for the weekend and when I watched them drive off toward Washington, my heart felt heavy. They were my slice of home and now that they'd gone, I began to feel homesick again. I took the elevator back up to my floor and was just about to get in the apartment when I heard Elsie calling my name.<p>

"Bella! Have your friends gone home already?" she inquired looking a little breathless.

"Yes, I just walked them down a few minutes ago."

"Aw, shoot. Auntie's gonna kill me…" She collapsed against the wall opposite my door and slid down to the floor. "She told me to give this to your friends before they leave. I accidentally slept in."

I hadn't noticed earlier that she had a small box within a white plastic bag in her hands. It now lay on the floor next to her. "What do you have there?"

"Oh, it's just a box of Chinese pastry. I think your friend Angela mentioned that she liked sweetheart cake and Auntie got some from her baker friend." She stood up and handed the bag to me. "Here take it. Don't tell her that it never made it to your friend. You know how she is when she gets upset," she said with a roll of her eyes.

I giggled, knowing exactly what she was referring to. There were only a couple of times when I'd seen Mrs. Li angry. Her voice got shrill and there seemed to be no end to her scolding of anyone who happened to cross her path. She was normally very sweet, but when you get on her bad side, it was best to stay out of her way. "Hey, I like Chinese pastry too. We'll keep this secret between you and me, okay?" She smiled gratefully and headed towards the elevator.

The pastries smelled divine when I opened the box. In the usual Mrs. Li style, she did not skimp on giving gifts. Nestled inside were dozens of the flaky, golden treat and I loathed the thought of how easily I could gobble them all up. An idea then struck me and I carefully closed the lid and placed it back into the plastic bag.

It was almost lunchtime when I arrived at Evan's office building. The security guard on duty recognized me from my previous visits and she waved me in without bothering to have me to sign in. Careful not to trip, I hurried over to the elevator. I hummed a tune happily on the ride up and thought about possible places to lunch at that were relatively close by. When the elevator dinged, I got off and proceeded to the glass doors just as one of Evan's office mates was heading out. He held one of the doors open for me and smiled politely.

"Hey, Bella. Long time no see. Evan expecting you?"

"Hi, Ernie," I greeted back. "No, I'm here on a surprise visit, actually. My neighbor left me a bunch of goodies and I thought I'd bring it here for everyone to share. I might even try to convince him to go for lunch. Do you know if he's at his desk?"

He pondered over this for a few moments and scratched his head. "You know I haven't seen him this morning… Come, let's go find him." He led me to a small group of people who were huddled into a small cubicle. "Hey, has anyone seen Evan around?"

A small mousy woman spoke up as she typed like a maniac on her keyboard. "He had a meeting this morning in the boardroom. Not sure if it's done yet."

I smiled, even though she hadn't looked up once from her screen. "That's fine. I'll just drop this off at his desk and leave a note." Everyone in the group exchanged curious glances. I thought that maybe they were nervous about the contents of the mysterious box in my hands. "Um… I'm not sure if you've tried these before. There's quite a bit in here if you want some." A couple of them each took a piece and thanked me.

When I was finally on my way to Evan's desk, I passed through a maze of drab, gray cubicles and small offices. The offices all had glass for walls along the hallway, with frosted patterns that partially obscured the interior. I supposed it was to allow more natural light in yet still provide some privacy. When I reached the end of the hall, I had to stop and think about which way to turn. Nothing around me looked familiar, since I hadn't gone this way before. That was when I noticed that I was adjacent to a large boardroom with the same frosted glass motif. It looked empty except for what appeared to be two people hanging around by the entrance. One of them was a young woman with sandy hair that was pulled up into a messy chignon on top her head. She wore a rather snug top with a pair of dark skinny jeans that accentuated her lean figure. Seeing that no one else roamed the area, I decided to walk up to her and ask for directions. She must not have noticed my approach because she quickly looked over her shoulder then reached out to the other person, who was completely hidden from view. I smirked, recognizing the sultry curve of her smile.

_Tsk-tsk… office romance. _

As I got closer to where she leaned against the door frame, I thought about averting my gaze to the floor and pretending not to see what was going on. But something kept me from doing so. It was like watching everything in slow motion. I saw her seductively pull her companion impossibly close until their lips met eagerly. To my horror, I recognized the dark hair, the geeky dark-rimmed glasses, and the face that looked completely lost to passion… Evan! I froze on the spot and dropped the box of sweetheart cakes with an audible thump on the floor. They immediately flew apart.

When he turned around and saw me standing there, all the color drained from his face. "Shit," he cussed and raked a hand through his hair before stepping towards me. "Bella… it's not what you think. Nick and I were just -"

I looked at the pair incredulously. "Nick?" I spat. "_This_ is Nick?"

"I can explain... Can we talk for a bit? We can talk in here or we can go someplace."

All I wanted was either for the ground to swallow me whole or for lightning to strike me down.

"Bella, honey… please... I can explain," he pleaded as he tried to reach for me.

As if by reflex, I yanked my arm away roughly and turned on my heel. I fled as quickly as I could while he called after me. I needed to be away from there – from them – before I got sick all over the carpeted floor. When I reached the main office entrance, I saw a set of elevator doors starting to close. Not caring who was in it or how crazy I must've sounded, I yelled. "Please hold the doors!" Thankfully, they remained ajar and I jumped in pushing the close button frantically. By the time elevator car was safely descending, I realized that Ernie was in there with me. He gave me a pitying look for a second and looked away uncomfortably.

"Why did you look at me like that? Did everyone know but me?" I asked as the tears spilled down my cheeks.

He blushed a shade of red that rivaled my trademark hue. "We tease them about it. But I swear… I didn't know they were actually…" he trailed off. He probably thought that it was unwise to continue with what he was about to say. After all, he was in a small, enclosed space with a woman who had just been spurned. As soon as we reached the main floor, he gave me an apologetic smile and scampered off.

* * *

><p>I watched the water for a very long time. Its color fluctuated as the clouds sailed across the sky and the hours passed. After I left Evan's office building, I hopped on to the Sky Train and stayed on until my ticket had expired. The apartment was the last place I wanted to be. There was no doubt that he would go looking for me there and I certainly didn't want to face him and deal with what I had witnessed. Instead, I thought about going to Mrs. Li's restaurant, my one other refuge. However, when I was a few blocks away, it occurred to me that Evan might look for me there, too. So to avoid causing a scene, I decided to walk to the park surrounding Lost Lagoon and hide away until I could figure out what to do next.<p>

My stomach growled in protest, but I ignored it. I wasn't sure if I could keep anything down anyway, at least not while the lurid image of "Nick" making out with my boyfriend was fresh in my mind. Not once did I question the gender of the coworker who called almost incessantly in the recent weeks. I dismissed the phone calls and even felt sympathetic to the poor guy who needed so much help. Was I just being sexist? Would it have bothered me had I known Nick was short for Nicole or Nikki or something? I clenched my hand into a fist. Of course it would have. Why would a woman persistently call a man at any hour of the day, unless she was attracted to him? Didn't she think that she was intruding on his personal time? Did she not care what his girlfriend might've thought? Everyone at the office knew Evan was taken. It would be next to impossible to not know, especially since he had a picture of us as his desktop wallpaper. Wouldn't Evan have told her that he was already in a relationship when she began to pursue him?

_But he was kissing her back._

I slammed my fist on the bench and bit my lip to suppress the scream that almost escaped my lips. All those phone calls… he never showed nearly as much annoyance to them as he had to those from his other officemates. He even stayed late at work a few times claiming Nick had needed his expertise with coding something. I thought back and I couldn't recall a time when Evan referred to Nick using a pronoun. How long had he been seeing her behind my back?

As though things couldn't get any worse, Jessica's taunting words came back to haunt me: _someone will come along one day and steal him right under your nose._ Well, her prophecy came true, didn't it? Someone did come along and steal him from me. I couldn't even comprehend how it happened. He seemed happy, but maybe what we had wasn't enough for him. Surely he knew how I felt about him. I put my life on hold to be here, to be with him. We were going to figure out a long-term solution… A fresh flood of hot tears broke free and fell on my lap. I had three weeks left before my original plan to go back to Washington and not once during my entire stay had we even talked about our future. Maybe he had realized some time ago that he did not want me after all.

_Oh my god… oh my god…_

I didn't notice when the rain had started. My clothes were soaked and the slight breeze made me shiver. I wished so much to be some place warm and dry, but there was no going home to the apartment – not with Evan possibly waiting for me. It was probably safe to go to Mrs. Li's restaurant by then. But in my state, clothes soaked and eyes red and puffy from crying, I would only worry her or cause some kind of commotion. Tired, cold, and hungry. Betrayed. I'd never felt this wretched in my entire life, so I broke down sobbing again.

When my sobs had subsided, I listened to the peaceful sounds that the raindrops made as they fell on the leaves. It reminded me so much of being in Washington that I allowed myself to pretend that I was at home in Forks. Charlie would be on his way home from the station and I would be adding the finishing touches to another special dinner. I could imagine my father's face when he walked in to the smell of pot roast. I smiled at my mental picture until I heard a very audible snap of a branch.

My blood ran cold. Through my misery, I failed to think of how vulnerable I was to sit all alone in the dark on a secluded bench. My eyes scanned the wooded area for anything that posed a threat while I readied myself to run. From a short distance, I caught sight of a tall, ghostly figure of a man. He appeared to hesitate a little before slowly making his way toward me. Instead of screaming in terror and running away as quickly as my legs would carry me, I remained rooted to where I stood. As he came closer, I noticed the familiar fair hair and the unnaturally white skin, despite the darkness that surrounded us. My heart swelled with joy, melting away the emotional and physical misery that threatened to drown me earlier. I wanted to fly into his arms, but I restrained myself in fear that he was only an apparition that could vanish in a puff of smoke in an instant. He sensed my uncertainty and crossed the remaining distance that separated us in a blink. I reached out and touched his cheek. It was cold and hard like marble – just the way I expected it to be. Without further ado, I flung my arms around his waist just as he returned my embrace. Though his body was neither warm nor dry, I did not care. All that mattered was Carlisle. He was there with me and I felt safe.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **What apleasant surprise it was to see all the encouraging reviews from last chapter! Thank you very much for taking the time to read my story.

Thank you to my beta, StormDragonfly, for catching the inconsistencies in my first few drafts of this chapter. Your keen eyes and knowledge are most appreciated.

Please note the usual disclaimers.

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

It felt like I had been asleep for a very long time. So long, that my muscles felt sore from disuse. My eyes were no better because they stung quite a bit when I tried to open them. Having decided against further attempts at movement, I focused instead on remembering what I could. I recalled sitting for hours at a park bench staring at a lagoon. It had gotten dark and it rained, soaking my clothes all the way through. When I pushed my mind to think further back, I remembered bringing a box of pastries to Evan's office. I had been looking forward to stealing him away for lunch. There was a young woman by a doorway with someone and…

_Oh God! _

Without warning, pain clawed its way out from deep within causing me to gasp.

"Bella?"

I shot up in a sitting position, despite the strain. Carlisle. He'd come to me in that dark park, when I thought that I had been all alone. I scanned my surroundings as best as I could until my eyes fell on a pale figure on the far side of the room. He looked like an angel as the moonlight partly illuminated his light hair. It was disappointing that the darkness prevented me from seeing the golden hue that I had always admired. "Hi," I croaked.

In a blur he was by my side. "How are you feeling?" he asked, placing a cool hand on my forehead. His voice was soft though a little detached.

"I feel much more comfortable now, thanks." After years of not seeing Carlisle, I should have been happy, or at least sounded more excited to be in the same room as him. Instead, I sounded almost as distant as he did.

He withdrew his hand and crouched low to level his eyes with mine, perhaps to examine my face with his perfect vision. All too soon, he straightened up and turned a lamp on to add a warm glow to the room. Judging from the bland décor, I realized that I was in a hotel room.

"You don't have a fever. I think you'll be just fine." He then turned to look at me with a surprisingly stern expression. "What were you doing out there in the dark all alone?" he asked in a harsh tone. "You're not in Forks, Bella. This is a much larger city and it lacks the safety of familiarity that smaller towns have. Any number of unsavory people could've stumbled upon you. I've always thought you were a remarkably mature and intelligent young woman. I did not think for a second that you'd be so naïve to sit in the rain, defenseless against man and nature."

I was stunned by his admonishment. Given the circumstances that he had found me in, I wasn't expecting a happy reunion. But I certainly did not expect a scolding either. I broke our eye contact and focused on a wall as I became filled with shame. Even though I had been hurt by someone I cared very much about, there was no excuse to act as irresponsibly as I did by throwing all care and caution to the wind. After all, I still had some friends and family who would be hurt if something had happened due to my recklessness. In fact, one of them was in the room with me, despite the hard words he had spoken. At least I hoped he was still a friend.

He sighed and paced for a little while before sitting next to me on the bed. "Please forgive me, Bella. I had no right to speak to you like that. When I caught your scent in the rain, I found you all alone in tears. I was extremely worried that someone had hurt you." When he spoke the last few words, my breath caught on my throat and tears began to pool in my eyes again. I hastily made a move to wipe away the moisture but Carlisle stopped me. He gently tilted my chin up so that I could meet his gaze again. "You're crying… _did_ someone hurt you?" he asked, his eyes widening in alarm. He swiftly placed both of his hands on either side of my head and began to examine me for injuries. The last time I saw this much anxiety in him was just after our encounter with James and his coven at the baseball field.

I tried to shake my head in protest. "No! Not in the way you think."

He looked a little dubious at first, but he gave in and released me. "You're starving. Are you feeling well enough to eat?" he asked.

It had been hours since I'd eaten anything, so I nodded and watched him place a call to order room service. While he spoke, I decided to nip over to the bathroom for a human moment. On my way there, I passed a full-length mirror and caught a glimpse of myself looking more haggard than I'd ever been in my life. Being covered from chin to toe in layers of sheets and blankets made my reflection look worse – I looked like a patient from a mental institute. I shuddered and hurried into the bathroom. As I absently pushed the sheets off my shoulders, my skin prickled upon contact with the cool air. To my utter mortification, I realized that my undergarments were all of what I had on underneath. Quickly, I wrapped myself back up and approached Carlisle just as he ended his phone call.

"Carlisle? Where are my clothes?"

"They were thoroughly soaked, so I had the hotel cleaning service launder them while you slept," he replied casually.

"Oh. Thanks." I blushed and hurried away before he noticed my embarrassment. I didn't want to get into detail on how I managed to strip off the wet clothing when I couldn't even remember how I got to the hotel in the first place.

When I finally emerged, wrapped this time in a thick bathrobe, I found Carlisle leaning on his arms against the balcony railing. The food had already arrived, but to my dismay, there was no sign of fresh coffee or tea. I quickly scanned the area for those in-room coffee brewers that hotels usually had to no avail. Giving up, I joined Carlisle on the balcony. He was quiet and appeared to be in deep thought. It didn't seem right to say anything just yet, so I looked out and noticed that the room overlooked a small marina. It was still quite dark out, but the clouds had already dissipated while I slept. I watched the small boats undulate slowly on the water, enjoying the peace of the moonlit scene before us.

His voice came in a whisper as though careful not to disturb the quietude. "It's just about three in the morning. There's still plenty of time to sleep after you've had a bit of nourishment."

"I'm not sure I can get back to sleep," I said. It wasn't a lie. I knew I'd remain wide awake wondering what else happened after seeing him at the park. "Um… I don't quite remember how I got here. Would you mind filling me in on what happened?"

He turned so that his back was leaning on the railing and crossed his arms across his chest. "Well, as I've mentioned earlier, I caught your scent in the rain. I thought that I might have stumbled upon a very private moment, so I remained hidden until I realized that you were starting to shake from the cold. You looked drained and I wasn't about to bombard you with questions, so here we are." He paused for a while to allow me some time to recollect my thoughts. "I don't want to push you, but I hope you are comfortable enough to tell me what brought you to that lonely park."

The pain that somewhat subsided earlier reemerged, and despite standing outside on the balcony, I felt my breathing constrict. I strode back into the room and with trembling hands, I spread some jam on a slice of bread just so I could focus on something other than the ache I felt. Almost right away, Carlisle's hands were on my arms stilling my movements. I wasn't hungry anyway, so I placed the butter knife and bread back on the trolley. Slowly, but firmly, he turned me around to face him. His golden eyes filled with worry.

"I'm concerned about you, Bella. But as much as I wish you'd tell me what happened, I think it's best if you get more rest first. We can talk when you wake up."

With a shuddering breath, I buried my face in his chest and hugged him tightly around his waist. He sighed softly then wrapped his arms around my shoulders. We stood there and held on to each other in silence. There was no need for words. The comfort of his embrace was more than enough. It vaguely reminded me of the same comfort he provided years ago when Edward and I ended our relationship.

Eventually, exhaustion overcame me and I let out a big yawn. He gently pried himself from my arms and led me to the bed. "I'll be back by the time you wake up."

Instead of settling under the covers, I held fast to one of his hands before he could walk away. Puzzled, he looked at our joined hands. I pushed myself on to the balls of my feet and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Carlisle."

His eyes softened and gave my hands a reassuring squeeze.

* * *

><p>"What do you intend to do now?" he asked the next day as his eyes pierced through me.<p>

I had just finished rehashing the previous day's events to Carlisle. I told him everything from my decision months ago to put my life on hold to be in Vancouver with Evan, down to the detail of what I had witnessed at the office. To my surprise, I was able to contain my tears, even though my chest still throbbed painfully. Carlisle listened attentively, but offered few words. I supposed that he knew there wasn't much he could do unless I knew what to do about it myself.

"I'm not sure, to be honest," I replied while I tugged at a non-existent loose thread at the hem of my shirt. "But I guess I have to go back at some point and face him."

"You don't have to go alone, you know."

I took a bite out of my cheese danish and sipped at my coffee. It was true that I didn't have to go back and face him myself. If I really wanted the moral support that he could provide, I could bring him along. I didn't need to offer Evan any explanations as to who Carlisle was and why he was with me. Having Carlisle there would make it easier for me to grab my things and go back to the hotel to figure out what I would do next.

"That sounds really nice, but I don't want to impose…"

"It isn't an imposition, Bella. I am happy to help if you need me."

I tore my eyes away from him and directed my gaze to the marina. He had helped so much already and it seemed wrong to take advantage of him like this. Then again, I was fairly alone in this city with few friends and it felt nice to have one with me. "All right… I guess it would be nice to have someone help me move my things out," I conceded.

"It sounds like you've already made a decision."

I knitted my brows in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"I asked you earlier of your intent. By removing your things from the apartment you shared with him, it shows your intent to leave him," he said coolly.

I frowned at his astute observation. Of course moving out of the apartment could only mean that I was walking out on him. What else would it look like? I bit my lip in consternation. Did I want to break off a two-year relationship without talking to him first? Did he deserve a chance to explain himself before I tossed him out of my life like yesterday's garbage?

He watched me as I contemplated. "Maybe you should hear him out first before making any final decision," he suggested.

"I suppose it's the decent thing to do."

Having lost my appetite, I brought my unfinished breakfast to the trolley and grabbed my bag. We walked together to the elevator and Carlisle pushed the button to the parkade level. He led me to a sleek black car with heavy tinting on the windows and I smiled at the memory of his penchant for luxury vehicles. He helped me in and I reveled in the feel of the buttery soft leather.

After I'd given him the address, we pulled out of the hotel parkade and made the journey to the apartment. I was too nervous to face what was waiting for me back home, so I spent the entire ride in silence.

_Would Evan be there waiting for me? If he was, what would I do? What if he wasn't home? Would I sit there and wait for him? Should I call him at work and ask him to go home so we could talk? _

As I cycled through the different possibilities, I felt a cool hand on my knee.

"We're here."

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I second-guessed the wisdom of coming back so soon. My feelings for Evan were still very much in turmoil over what happened and I wasn't sure that I could trust myself to handle this calmly. So far, most of what I thought and felt had been focused on the pain he inflicted by his unfaithfulness, but had I really given equal time and effort in factoring in all the years we'd been happy? I would loathe thinking that he had lied to me the whole time we were together, but deep down I knew that it didn't start that way. Our attraction and affections were genuine, so I had to wonder when things began to fall apart. Since I had been oblivious to any cracks in our relationship, he might be the only one who could tell me what I hadn't suspected.

"Would you mind waiting for me here?" I asked. I'd long since learned that there was very little privacy among the Cullens, but for Evan's benefit, I'd give him some semblance of it. There was no doubt in my mind that Carlisle would be there if I needed him.

Ever understanding, he nodded at my request. "Of course. I will be here."

I smiled weakly and fixed my shoulders in a determined posture. I gritted my teeth all the way through the short elevator ride, chanting "be strong" under my breath. When I reached my floor, I stood outside the apartment door and listened for any movements inside. Unfortunately, my heart was pumping so hard that I couldn't hear anything and I almost lost the nerve to go in. Biting down on my lower lip, I pulled out my key and opened the door. The sight of Evan on the couch with his hands clenched tightly in his hair took my breath away. He didn't see me at first, but the moment the click of the closing door sounded, he leapt up and looked in my direction.

"Bella!" he cried as he rushed towards me. He enveloped me in his arms while I stood rooted by the door. "Thank God you're okay. I've been worried sick…" His voice muffled as he buried his face into my hair. After a few moments, he pulled back just enough to brush some of my hair away from my face. He peered into my eyes as though he was trying to gauge what to say next.

I sighed and pushed away from him. It didn't seem wise to be so close. I was afraid that I would crumble and forgive him for what he's done right then and there. Two years, after all, seemed a lot to throw away and it wasn't like we were never happy. Quite the contrary. But the second my eyes landed on his phone sitting in the kitchen counter, all the horrible memories of Nick came rushing back. My resolve was strengthened again. I turned around to face him, being careful not to betray my emotions. "I… I was upset and I couldn't face you after seeing… what I saw."

He blinked and swallowed. No words came forth.

I steeled myself and put some distance between us. "Why didn't you tell me that you weren't happy with us?" I asked.

He looked at me incredulously as though I'd accused him of something unbelievably criminal. "I wasn't unhappy."

"Have I done something to cause you to mess around with someone else behind my back?" I pressed.

"It wasn't like that…"

"Then help me understand!" I spat, the control over my emotions slipping. "I thought you and I were real. I put my life on hold for you. We were supposed to discuss what we were going to do for our future."

"We never had the conversation. We never made the time. Our future is as much in limbo now as it was months ago," he said defensively. He began to pace the small living room. "Look, it doesn't matter what was. All I care about is what we're going to do now." He came up to me again and held my face in both of his hands. I couldn't bear to look at him so I looked away. "Bella, I love you. That whole thing with Nick was a stupid mistake. Please… I would do anything for you."

It stung to hear him say her name. So against my better judgment, I ignored what he said and pushed on with my questioning. "How long exactly have you been hiding her from me?" I asked acidly.

"What? What does it matter?"

"It matters to me!" I seethed. "Tell me… all those nights you stayed late at work. Were you always with her? I hope you practiced more discretion in the evenings than you did when I walked in on you yesterday."

He threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Fine. You want me to tell you how long I've been seeing her? That's easy – four weeks ago. Do you want to know if I've slept with her? Yes I have – and it didn't mean anything to me!" My breath hitched at his confession and I felt bile creep up my throat. He took a few deep breaths. "But if you want to know why I did it… I can honestly tell you that I don't know! Bella, you have to believe me when I say how sorry I am for fucking up the way I did. You deserve better and I will try my best to make it up to you. Everything can eventually be good again."

Traitorous tears began to stream from my eyes and I shook my head loose from his grasp. Even though he was sorry, I couldn't ignore the fact that he had deceived me for weeks. "I'm not sure I could trust you again."

Evan hastily wiped at his eyes with his forearm and backed away. "So what does it mean? Are you ending this?" He waved a hand between us. "All our time together means nothing now because of a mistake?"

"It wasn't a small mistake!" I retorted. "You've consciously concealed her for weeks. All those phone calls at the most inappropriate hours… you even didn't bother correcting me when I referred to Nick – or Nicky, or whatever the hell her name is – as _him_. If I hadn't walked in on you two…" I shuddered to finish my sentence. "There's no reason for me to believe that you wouldn't still be carrying on with her."

He winced at my words and I left to go into the room I used to share with him. I quickly retrieved my suitcase and began to dump my clothes in unceremoniously. When it was full, I hauled it out to the living room. I found him sitting exactly the same way as when I first arrived, only this time he pulled at his hair mercilessly. As far as I could remember, I'd never seen him so anguished. We were supposed to be in love yet in a matter of a few weeks, we'd manage to hurt each other far beyond our imaginings. All the anger seeped out of me leaving only misery for the both of us. Slowly, I approached him and held his head between my hands just as he had done earlier. I gently stroked his ruffled hair and straightened his glasses just as I had always done in the past.

"When I walked in on you yesterday, I thought I'd die," I admitted as I continued to run my fingers in his hair. It was so soft and my fingers ached at the thought of possibly never touching it again. "I think it's best if I go back to Washington sooner rather than later."

He flung his arms around my waist and pressed his head against my stomach. "Please… don't go. It's over between me and her. I love you. I was stupid and selfish. Give me another chance…"

"I have to go. I need time away… to think."

He held me tighter and he looked up with pleading eyes. "Don't leave."

"I'm sorry, but I can't stay."

He nodded and loosened his arms around my waist but didn't let go entirely. "I'll drive you. I suppose you'll stay with Angela and Ben for a while… or do you think you want to go back home to your Dad?" he asked, defeat evident in his tone. When I didn't respond right away he looked at me with concern. "Just because you're leaving me, it doesn't mean I've stopped caring about you. I want to see that you get to wherever you want to go safely."

"No, it's okay. I think I'll just rent a car and drive myself back. I'll call Angela on my way there." I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed a kiss on top of his head. "I'll be in touch soon to make arrangements for the rest of my things." He remained still on the couch without turning to see me go. I figured that it was for the best, considering the last few words I was about to say. "Take care of yourself, Evan."

I placed my key beside the change dish by the doorway and walked out.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Thank you to my beta StormDragonfly and to all the lovely readers who had taken the time to write reviews.

No copyright infringement was intended.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

The time it took to leave the apartment building was extremely tense. It required almost all my energy to walk as fast as possible without tripping and keep up a calm façade. To my great relief, Carlisle was already waiting for me just outside the front entrance. He took the suitcase from my hand and I darted for the safety of his car. The last thing I wanted was to run into neighbors and fall apart under their curious stares. When we were finally driving away, I felt Carlisle rest a hand on my shoulder as he drove. His thumb moved in soothing circles.

"How are you doing, Bella?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine," I mumbled, but my hands trembled noticeably. Annoyed at their traitorous movements, I hastily shoved them on either side of my thighs and pinned them underneath to keep them out of sight.

"I'm here, if you need to talk about it –"

"I don't want to talk about it. Not yet, at least. Thanks for offering, though."

He nodded and withdrew his hand, causing me to almost cry out at the loss of physical contact. Even though I didn't want to discuss what happened with Evan minutes before, I wasn't above getting some form of consolation. However, after I had treated Carlisle so rudely, I realized that I had no right to expect constant comfort from him. Clamping my mouth shut, I stared out the passenger window.

"Would you like me to take you back to the hotel? You could stay there as long as you want or until you figure out what to do," he offered cautiously as though he was anticipating a bad reaction from me.

I felt bad and extremely guilty that the only friend I had in my most painful hours to date had been paying the price for a heartbreak that he had not caused. So I summoned up as much energy as I could manage and glanced at him briefly with a weak smile plastered on my face. "Thanks for the offer… but I think I should go back home to Washington."

There was an awkward pause while we waited at a stop light before he spoke again. "I overheard you saying that you were planning to drive yourself down in a rental. If you'd like, I can drive you instead. It's not really that far."

It would be nice to have someone along, though I probably wouldn't be much fun to converse with. That aside, where would I tell him to drop me off? Had things been under different circumstances, I would have asked to be dropped off at Angela's, but I was too humiliated to face her and Ben. She would immediately suspect a falling out, especially since it had only been a few days since she urged me to discuss the future with Evan. I had no doubt that she would be there for me, but Ben and Evan were friends and I didn't want to introduce any awkwardness in their household because of whom they decide to side with. No, I couldn't subject my best friend to that. Perhaps I should decline Carlisle's offer and rent a car to drive all the way to Forks. It might work, but knowing Charlie, he'd wonder about the reason behind the sudden visit. He would be so disappointed to learn that I split up with the only man he ever approved of, though he would never admit it.

_What a mess…_

I didn't realize how long I had been contemplating my answer, until I heard Carlisle clear his throat softly. "Um… sure, if you don't mind," I answered.

"I assume that you want me to drop you off at Angela Webber's?"

"Angela Cheney, actually… and no. I think I'll stay at a motel or something."

He appeared to be dissatisfied by my response by way he knitted his brows together. He steered the car into the next street, pulled over, and cut the engine. When he turned his handsome face towards me, his expression was serious. "I realize that you're acting on instinct by running away from something that caused you pain. I'm not judging you, but it sounds like you haven't given any thought about your immediate situation. Surely you had some inkling of what you were going to do, if you and Evan decided to remain in Washington permanently."

It stung to hear his name, but I answered anyway. "Had we decided to stay in Washington together, we would've stayed at Angela's and Ben's until we could get our own place. But because we never got around to discussing our future, we never made any concrete plans. I know… it was incredibly stupid of me to be so unprepared for the different possibilities. It never occurred to me that I'd be parting with him under these circumstances." I took a staggering breath. "I was such a fool… I don't think I can face my friends or my family. They would all be so disappointed."

"Bella…" he frowned. "I told you long ago that I considered you part of my family. I will help you in any way I possibly can, remember?" He reached over and nudged my chin to level our eyes. I felt a slight flutter in my chest at his sincerity and concern. "If you don't feel ready to deal with anyone yet, I would be more than happy to offer you a place to stay."

I felt a small spark of hope light up inside me. How many times had he willingly come to my rescue, despite the stupidity of my actions? "Really? You don't mind? I mean… you've already done so much for me."

His expression gentled and a small smile even began to tug at his lips. "Don't make me tell you again that you are not an imposition."

I was beyond indebted to him. "Thank you," I managed to say as tears threatened to break loose.

"I need to make a couple of stops first before I drive you to Seattle," he said as he brought the car back to life. "You'll have the place all to yourself, so you wouldn't have to worry about having a live-in landlord." He grinned in an attempt to lighten up the mood. "I'll need to return the key card to the hotel first and then run a couple of errands. Was there anything else you need to do before we make the trip back?"

I thought about passing by Mrs. Li's restaurant to bid her goodbye and thank her for hers and Elsie's friendship. However, there would likely be some awkward questions that I wasn't prepared to answer, so I disregarded the idea. It might be better to call them later on when things settle down a bit. I shook my head in response to Carlisle.

We parked a few blocks away from the hotel we stayed at the night before. While Carlisle ran his errands, I remained in the car and reflected on the morning's events. It had not been easy to pack up and walk out on Evan. It hurt to see him look so defeated. I wondered what would've happened if I didn't go. Would I have forgiven him eventually and given our future another chance? But when I remembered the way he deceived me and carried on with Nick, my stomach lurched and I found myself running to the bushes a few feet away and heaving out my meager breakfast. I went back to the car feeling devastated. The last couple of years had been happy and the only thing that put any bit of pressure on us was the talk we never had. Maybe Evan had brought up a valid point; our lack of communication was probably indicative of where we stood on our relationship. We cared about each other, but did we really care enough to stay together forever? That talk should've been easy if we knew what we wanted. Instead, we avoided talking about it whether intentionally or not. Perhaps the truth was that neither of us was truly ready to give up anything permanently for each other.

"How are you doing?"

I was so lost in my thoughts that I got a little startled when I heard a voice next to me. "Carlisle… I didn't hear you get in."

"You looked like you were deep in thought. I'm sorry to have frightened you." He handed over a small paper bag and a bottle of water. "Here, have something to keep your strength up."

I took the proffered bag gratefully. I was getting famished, especially after my breakfast got acquainted with the bushes. We drove through Vancouver fairly quickly and by the time I finished my late lunch, we were already speeding down the BC-99 highway. I shoved the paper bag on the floor behind my seat, hoping that I wouldn't forget to toss it out later. While I drank out of my water bottle, I decided to observe my unexpected knight in shining armor. He was still devastatingly beautiful, just as I remembered from my youth. Same glistening golden hair, straight nose and pale rosebud lips. But as I stared a little longer, I noticed that something seemed slightly off. His face didn't seem as relaxed and his eyes looked guarded. If such a thing were possible, I could've sworn that I saw very faint grooves etched between his eyebrows and on either side of his mouth. It was as though he had done a lot of frowning lately. I wondered what could possibly alter him. For the past eighteen hours, I had been so focused on my pathetic life that I hadn't given much thought about why he was in Vancouver and where the rest of the family were.

He stole a quick glance in my direction and smiled at my scrutiny. "You've been examining me for a while now."

"Sorry," I said and looked away. Although I knew he didn't really mind and was only making small talk, it was still rude to stare so long. "I was just thinking how I've been too preoccupied with my personal mess that I haven't had a chance to ask anything about you."

"You've just gone through something very painful. I completely understand your distraction," he reassured.

"Well, I don't want to waste another minute dwelling on my issues." I looked back at him pointedly. "Let's talk about you."

He kept his eyes on the road and shrugged. "There are far more interesting things to talk about than me."

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes. "Okay, maybe you can tell me how everyone else is doing. It's been a long time since I heard from Alice and Edward."

"Everyone's well. I believe Edward went on an Antarctic expedition with Rosalie and Emmett. They left shortly after college graduation. Emmett was looking forward to trying out the wild game there, but I'm not certain that Rosalie is quite as excited." He smiled fondly and I snickered at the thought of Emmett's exuberance. "Alice and Jasper have gone to visit Peter and Charlotte at their new ranch in New Mexico for the summer. It wouldn't surprise me if they decide to stay even longer since Jasper is quite close to Peter."

"And what about Esme? With everyone else doing their thing, what is she doing all alone?" I asked, not missing the fact that he had omitted mentioning his wife. "What is she up to these days?"

"She's been busy running her restoration business out in New England," he answered carefully.

"I see… so I take it that her business is such a success that she couldn't come out west with you," I prodded.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Not exactly." He was quiet for a minute, probably in deliberation over what to say next. When he spoke next, his voice was teeming with sadness. "Esme and I are no longer together."

The shock of his news left me gaping. Carlisle and Esme were not together anymore? The very idea was incomprehensible. They seemed so wonderful together – so united. Esme was the epitome of grace with the fathomless capacity to love and Carlisle was the very image of compassion, kindness, and strength. How could two so very perfect individuals not make it work? I caught Carlisle sneak a peek in my direction and winced infinitesimally at what he saw. My heart ached for his loss. Without even knowing how long ago they split up, his reaction made it obvious that he was still hurting. I knew then, without question, that I would be there for him. But as much as I wanted to know more about what happened, and how their separation affected the family, I kept silent. I didn't want to push him, so I hoped that one day he would trust me enough to share his story much like I did with him the previous day. The breakup itself was pain enough, but the feeling of dealing with it alone would make it unbearable. I reached a hand out and placed it on his forearm, giving it a tender squeeze. He smiled tiredly in return.

The rest of the trip was spent in silence. As soon as we crossed the border, Carlisle pushed the car to go faster than during the Canadian leg of our journey. When I first spotted the silhouette of the Space Needle, I felt a sudden rush of relief. I looked out the window and watched the familiar landmarks go by as we maneuvered further into the city. The traffic was already picking up for rush hour, but even that couldn't dampen my spirits. Carlisle weaved through the busy streets until we turned off into a road that led to a residential area that skirted along Alki Bay. Eventually, he slowed down and parked in front of a dark townhouse. With my suitcase in tow, he led me to the front entrance and ushered me in. When he flicked on the lights, I was surprised with what I saw. We stood in what I guessed to be the living room. It was large, furnished only with a sofa, and the walls were bare of any adornment. It wasn't the type of dwelling that I would expect a Cullen to have.

Carlisle swiftly turned on all the lights and returned to where I stood. "I apologize for the state of the house. If you overlook the Spartan nature of my décor, you would find everything functional," he said. "Unfortunately, there isn't a bed, but I will have one ordered and delivered as soon as possible."

"You don't have to order anything, Carlisle, and please don't apologize. I can't thank you enough for allowing me to stay here until I get my affairs in order." I turned slowly around to have another look at the room and walked to the curtains on the far wall. I pointed to the drapery. "May I?" He nodded and I carefully pulled back the fabric to see the magnificent view outside the large window. It was a perfect picture of the sun dipping lower on the horizon. Weak red-orange rays stained the wavy waters of Alki Bay. "How beautiful!"

I didn't realize that he was behind me until I felt his hand rest gently on my shoulder. "I'm glad you like it," he said. "Would you like a tour of the house before you settle in? I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to enjoy the view after I leave you to your privacy."

I frowned, remembering what he had said when he first offered his place. He had no intention to stay and was apparently eager to leave. Suddenly, I realized that I didn't want him to go – at least not right away. We haven't had a chance to catch up, and to be completely honest, I didn't want to be alone. After all, no one but Carlisle knew that I had left Evan.

He graciously gave me a tour of the property's interior. The main floor consisted of the living room, a kitchen, and a makeshift office that only had a simple desk and a leather chair. On the second floor were two bedrooms each with their own en suite bathroom. I couldn't help noticing that the entire place was bare – completely bereft of personal effects. The tour ended and we found ourselves back in the living room gazing out into the waning sunset.

"Thanks again for offering me a place to stay," I said. "Hopefully it won't take me long to find a job and get my own place."

"It really is no problem at all, Bella. It is here at your disposal for as long as you wish."

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, much in the same way as I did earlier in the day. There wasn't anything else keeping him here. "So… how do I contact you when I need to relinquish the keys?"

"It's hard to say where I will be when you decide to move on, but I will leave you my cell number so you can still reach me."

I mumbled a quick "thanks" and hurried to where we left my belongings. Even with my back turned, I knew that he was watching me curiously. With deliberate audible steps, he followed me and stood just within arm's reach. "Is there something on your mind?" he asked quietly.

I cursed at myself mentally for failing to rein in my disappointment at his impending departure. But I was stubborn by nature, and I shrugged off his question as though it were a ridiculous notion. "It's nothing important," I replied, trying in vain to sound nonchalant.

"You can tell me anything, you know."

With a relenting sigh, I forced myself to meet his gaze. "It's selfish and childish." He looked doubtful, so I continued. "I was kind of hoping that you wouldn't have to leave so soon. It was only yesterday that things started to fall apart for me and I've confided in no one else but you. I was alone and having you with me made things better." I dropped my gaze to the floor. "I realize that I'm not the best company right now. It's stupid that I should subject you to my misery. For all I know, you're needed somewhere and I'm selfishly holding you back."

He crossed the short distance between us and gathered me into his arms, tucking my head protectively under his chin. "I'm not expected anywhere and you're not holding me back."

I sniffled and inhaled his comforting, virile scent. "Does that mean you'll stay?" My voice sounded more hopeful than I wanted to show.

"If you want me to… I'll stay as long as you want me around."

I nodded gratefully and he held me tightly against him as the sunset gave way to twilight. We stood unmoving for some time before he finally released me. "Now that we've decided to be roommates for a while, tell me, what's the first order of business?" he asked, his voice taking on a more playful tone.

"Maybe we can decide on who gets what room," I suggested.

"That shouldn't be difficult. I'll take the room that you don't want. Though for tonight you might have to make do with the sofa."

"Okay, as long as you don't resort to any shenanigans while I'm asleep," I giggled. "But now I'm curious… why is this house so empty? It's like you've never stayed here before."

Carlisle rubbed at his chin thoughtfully. "Well, I bought this place about a year after we moved back to Forks. Originally, I intended it to be a place where anyone could retreat to if he or she wanted some privacy from the rest of the family. It's not too far from the main house at Forks, but it is far enough for that purpose."

"Couldn't you have just gone to a hotel?"

"We all did that for a while and we would've gone on doing that, but Esme…" he trailed off and I noticed his eyes take on a faraway look. He didn't need to finish telling me what I had already surmised. He bought this place for her. It was one of the many tokens of his love for his wife. The friendly banter we were having quickly evaporated.

"We don't have to stay here if you're not comfortable, Carlisle. I mean… I wouldn't want you to be somewhere that holds any painful memories for you."

His attention snapped back to the present. "Don't worry about me, Bella. I'm fine." He flashed me a smile as though to convince me that he really was okay with it. "Initially, I thought it would be nice if Esme had another place to remodel, but as luck would have it, she and I had argued the night I planned to show her this property. Instead of coming here with my wife, I came alone." He took a deep unnecessary breath and I couldn't help but marvel at the way he had perfected human mannerism. "You are probably aware that I had been alone for two centuries before I had my family. Since then I was never without company. Imagine my surprise when I came here alone and found the solitude quite pleasant. That was when I realized that having my own private dwelling was probably a good idea."

As I listened to Carlisle, I felt a bit like an intruder. Even though he offered it willingly, I couldn't possibly remain longer than absolutely necessary and be a nuisance. It didn't seem right to stay when the rest of his family had probably never stepped a foot in here.

"I can see the gears turning in your head," he said, interrupting my thoughts. "It will be a great insult to me if you decide now to refuse my hospitality."

The tell-tale sign of my mortification emerged and for the first time in my life, I had never been so glad to be distracted by the obnoxious rumbling of my stomach. "I guess its dinner time. Do you mind if I ordered a pizza? I don't know if I have enough energy to shop for food tonight and prepare something for myself."

My deflection seemed to have amused him. "There's no need to ask me for permission. This is your home for as long as you wish. How about I pick up the pizza while you settle in?" He looked around the barren room and grinned. "Perhaps you and I can work on making this place a little bit more habitable tomorrow."

As soon as he left, I dragged my bag to one of the bedrooms and pulled out a change of clothes. It had been a long day – too long – and I really needed to relax a little. I scowled when I realized that I had forgotten to pack some of my more basic toiletries, so I checked the bathrooms for something I could borrow. Luckily, I found a bottle of shampoo and body wash in one of the bathrooms. After I had showered and dressed, I made my way back downstairs to find a box of pizza waiting for me on top of the stove.

"I realized that you hadn't mentioned what toppings you wanted. The lad at the till recommended this combination. I hope it's to your liking."

"Mmm…" I sounded as I pulled at the gooey cheese with my mouth. I raised a thumb up in approval and scooted myself on top of the counter. He laughed softly and walked towards the small home office a few paces away. After I managed to gobble up another two slices, I took my bottle of water and followed Carlisle into the office. He was absorbed with whatever was on his laptop screen, so I knocked lightly on the open door. His head shot up and he waved me in.

"It looks like tomorrow will be a fine day to go out. I was thinking that maybe I could accompany you to the market and then go to a couple of furniture stores afterward." He stood gracefully from his seat and held it out for me.

As I moved to sit, my arm unintentionally brushed against him and I heard an audible intake of breath. When I looked at him, he seemed distracted and maybe even a little uncomfortable. Based on his reaction, I wondered if it bothered him that he could smell his bath products on me. "I hope you don't mind that I borrowed your shampoo and soap. I accidentally left mine back at Evan's…"

He took a few steps back. "Uh… no I don't mind," he stammered. "But I think I need to step out for a little bit."

I eyed him carefully. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I probably just need to hunt… It's been a while since I last went." He was gone before I could say anything more.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you later," I muttered under my breath.

Tidying up the kitchen took no time whatsoever and despite the early evening hour, I could already feel the exhaustion of the day settle into my body. It would be hours till I could expect Carlisle to return, so I plopped on the couch and discovered a pile of folded blankets waiting for me. Clean and sated, I quickly drifted off to sleep.

When I woke, it was still dark and it was uncomfortably hot. As I pushed the blankets aside to sit up, my bleary eyes caught sight of Carlisle's tall, lean figure standing in front of the large window. I walked up to him quietly and he didn't give any indication that he was aware of me until I placed a hand on his arm.

"Hi. I didn't realize that you were awake." His hushed voiced sounded lonely.

Even in my sleepy state, it was clear to me that he had been lamenting over something. I couldn't be sure if it was about Esme or something else he hadn't shared with me, but it didn't really matter. He needed someone to lean on. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked as I lightly rubbed my hand on his upper arm in a soothing way.

He shook his head and I knew better than to push him to speak. While we stood staring out at the starless night sky, his hand sought mine. Carefully, I pulled him back to the couch without uttering a word. He made no protest when I placed his head on my lap and stroked his hair gently. We remained that way until the horizon began to lighten. A new day had come and with it was a chance for both of us to start fresh.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **A huge thank you goes out to my beta, StormDragonfly, for giving me honest feedback on the scene towards the end of the chapter. Any typos or grammatical errors in the chapter are mine alone, since I've done some tinkering just before publishing.

Thanks also for all the story alerts. I am truly flattered by the surprising amount of interest that people have shown towards my story.

Twilight isn't mine. No copyright infringement was intended.

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

Within a week of being back to Seattle, I managed to move my belongings from Angela's place to Carlisle's townhouse. She agreed to store my things for the summer, since she had been the most insistent about me spending time with Evan. Unfortunately, before I could get all my things back, I had the unpleasant task of telling her the reasons why I left Vancouver so abruptly. She was disappointed and angry, but she refrained from saying anything particularly derogatory about Evan in front of Ben.

"I can't believe he lied to you like that for weeks," she said as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"I know. I've been wondering if I missed anything that should've clued me in on his unhappiness. But then on that last day he said he wasn't unhappy with us, so I don't know how to make sense of this."

"Maybe it doesn't have to make sense. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, although right now he's definitely not in my good book," she replied. "So… where have you been staying these last couple of days?"

Up until this point, I had been absently swirling the coffee inside my cup. When she asked about my current living arrangement, my hand jerked, causing some coffee to spill on my lap. "Well…" I began while I wiped at the dampness, "I remembered that the Cullens have property in the city so I called up Alice. She said that her family wasn't using it and that I was welcome to stay as long as I need to."

Angela looked doubtful. As far she knew, Alice and I hadn't been in touch in the last few months. It would certainly seem strange for me to call up Alice before her. I hoped she wouldn't ask for any more details. She didn't deserve to be lied to. "Oh, that's very nice of them. But you know that you're always welcome to stay with Ben and I, right? You won't be alone and you won't have to move your things since they're here."

"I know, Ange. But I think it's best if I stay on my own for a while. You and Ben wouldn't want a squatter in your first home, especially on your honeymoon year," I teased, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Okay, but don't ever hesitate to call me if you need anything, do you hear me? I don't care if it's because you saw a cockroach or because you want some company. Just call… please."

I gave her a huge hug along with promises to do as she asked. I could tell that she was a little let down by my choice to go through this rough patch on my own, but I didn't want to steal her away from her husband. Besides, I had to be there for Carlisle, who had graciously agreed to remain with me. Once I had my things loaded in my Jeep, I headed back to the townhouse. I hadn't been gone very long, but I felt a grin form on my face as soon as I caught sight of who was waiting for me.

"I was wondering why you insisted on taking the cab to Angela's," Carlisle said as he opened my door for me. "I assumed Angela was going to drive you back."

"No, that wouldn't have been a good idea. She's under the impression that I'm staying here alone, so you would've had to hide."

"I agree. So, tell me… when did you replace your truck?" he asked gesturing to my vehicle.

"Just this past spring, actually. When my truck finally called it quits, Charlie and Renee made a joint effort in convincing me to allow them to buy me another car as an early graduation present. I left it behind with Angela thinking that I wouldn't need it while I was staying with... Evan." Even after talking about him for most of the day with Angela, saying his name still poked a sore spot. A raw and very sore spot. I gave myself a mental shake before my feelings could betray me. "Anyways, what do you think of Gigi? She's not brand new, but she certainly can go a lot faster than my old truck."

"Pardon me, but did you just call it Gigi?"

"Yeah, I did. I named it after 'Gilmore Girls.'" Carlisle raised a brow in confusion. I should've known that he probably hadn't watched a lot of television, let alone shows targeted for the female demographic. "It's a TV show I used to watch. One of the main characters, Lorelei, drives a Jeep Wrangler that looks sort of like this, except that hers is tan instead of white." I rolled my eyes when he still looked decidedly perplexed. "Forget it."

Moving my things in was a task that barely took a few minutes, with the help of my supernatural roommate. I didn't have many belongings to begin with. Most of what I retrieved consisted of clothes, books, and a few miscellaneous items. After graduation, Angela and I had decided to donate or sell off what little furniture we had. We figured that there was no use in hanging on to them since she had planned to buy new ones with Ben, and Evan had his own already. With the way things had worked out for me, I now wished that we hadn't gotten rid of everything. They had been a bit on the shabby side, but they would've been mine at least.

My new room in the townhouse was still bare for the most part, except for the bed that Carlisle had insisted on purchasing. I resisted at first, but he kindly reminded me of his intent to make the place more "habitable." Apparently, relocating the couch to my room wasn't an option. After my clothes were hung in the closet, I began to arrange my boxes neatly against the far end of the room. It would've been nice to have a bookcase for my books and other knick-knacks, but any additional furniture would have to wait until I get a job. When I got to the last box – labeled generically as "Stuff" – I opened it and pulled out a framed high school graduation picture of me with Edward and Alice. I rifled through the box some more and found a photo of me and Charlie standing in front of my house in Forks. His buddy, Billy Black, had snapped it on the day that I had left for college. Both pictures caused a warm, happy glow in me, so I pushed some boxes next to the bed and placed them on top.

"Looks like you need a nightstand next to your bed."

I looked up and saw Carlisle leaning against the door frame. He looked significantly younger in casual clothes, especially with that easy smile on his face. In an effort to stop myself from shamelessly ogling him, I waved Carlisle over to join me. "You're not buying me more furniture. These boxes will do nicely."

He laughed and reached out for the grad photo before settling down next to me. He didn't say anything, but his carefree expression dissipated as his fingers ghosted over the smiling faces of Alice and Edward.

"You really miss them, don't you?" I asked, knowing full well that he missed more than just the two staring back at him.

"Very much."

"You might feel better if you talk about it with someone. It helped me, when I talked with you," I said, hoping that I didn't overstep my bounds. In the days that I had spent "hiding out" at his house, our conversations hadn't touched upon anything to do with Evan or the rest of the Cullens. I was glad to have a break from wallowing in hurt and self-pity, but I had many questions for him. It didn't seem right to prod him then, since he had carefully avoided topics that were uncomfortable to me. I owed him that same consideration. However, with him beside me openly admitting how much he missed his family, I couldn't help but see it as an opportunity to learn about what happened. I only wished that he wouldn't shut down before I had the chance to ask anything.

"Perhaps you're right, but I wouldn't want to burden you," he replied without removing his gaze from the picture.

"You would never be a burden to me. After you've patiently listened to my problems, I want to be here for you."

He took one of my hands in his and looked at me as though he was contemplating if he could trust me with his troubles. "It might take a while to tell you everything."

"I have all sorts of time… well, at least until I find myself some work." I placed my free hand on his arm. "There's no pressure, though. We can talk when you're ready."

He smiled gratefully at me and stood, pulling me up along with him. "Come. Let's get you some tea."

For what seemed like eternity, Carlisle busied himself in silence, while I picked on a leftover scone from breakfast. I was beginning to wonder if he really was planning to share his story with me, but after he placed a mug of hot herbal tea in front of me, he began to talk. His composure was admirable, and I attributed it to his exceptional control over his emotions. Without going into detail, he told me of his separation from Esme. Apparently, after decades of being together, they had finally grown far enough apart to warrant one. He wanted time to find himself again and he had volunteered to leave the family home because it was the logical thing to do. The "children" were completing their post-secondary education in the area and the wife was running a successful business. He had been the one to bring up the separation, so he only thought it was fair that he went and she stayed. All in all, their parting had been relatively amicable. What surprised me, though, was the fact that he had been on his own for the last two years. At first I thought that it had only been weeks, months even – but years?

"So what exactly have you been doing since you left? Have you been on work hiatus that long? Have you set up a permanent residence somewhere else?" I fired off, unable to contain my astonishment.

"I haven't been a doctor since I left the family. For the first time in a long time, I've been living much like a nomad. I stay somewhere for as long as I like and move on again whenever it suits me."

"You're kidding, right? I mean, you didn't just stop doing things," I asked. I was finding it hard to believe that the ever industrious and caring man I thought I knew had the potential to be that idle and remiss. His answer caused my hopes to plummet.

"With my lifestyle, it was impossible to commit to anything."

"Lifestyle? Impossible? I can't believe I'm hearing this!"

"I don't understand why you're reacting this way," he said as he scrutinized me. "I think I've somehow upset you. Perhaps it's best to call it a night."

"No," I said as I grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry for my temper." I had no right to antagonize him. I was supposed to be his friend and it was my job to listen. Wasn't it me who encouraged him to talk in the first place? It wasn't exactly him leaving Esme and the family that upset me. It was his right and his decision to "find himself" if he wanted to. I was sure that there was a reason for it that he had yet to disclose. However, I couldn't deny that the idea of relinquishing his family responsibilities and vocation disappointed me.

"Please tell me what you're thinking."

"It's nothing…" I tried to back pedal, but he raised a questioning brow at me. "It's just that I fail to understand why you're doing this – why you have to go on this self-imposed exile. You once told me that you liked helping others - that it made it all the more enjoyable knowing your enhanced abilities have saved many who couldn't be saved by other doctors." Though his face gave nothing away, I knew that I should stop, but my mouth had taken on a life of its own and kept going. "I admired you for making the best of what you have to work with… for trying to make things better for many people, even if you thought you were damned. Where has that Carlisle gone? I doubt very much that the Carlisle I knew would ever be tempted to abandon his responsibilities."

By the end of my tirade, he was frowning and his voice had taken on an icy and reproving tone. "I think you've said quite enough, Isabella."

His words stung and I quickly let go of the arm that I had been holding on to. "I think you're right. It's best to call it a night," I replied with equal coldness. Without waiting for him to say anything more, I stood up and dumped the rest of the scone in the garbage and the tea in the sink before marching up to my room. My feelings had gotten the better of me. I failed at my personal promise to be there for him just as he had been there for me. Ashamed, I decided to run back downstairs and apologize, but the moment I opened my bedroom door, I heard the click of the front door closing followed by the sound of his car starting. With tears in my eyes, I curled up on top of my sheets and prayed that he hadn't left for good.

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><p>The house was quiet when I got up the next day. It wasn't really indicative of anything, since vampires had a tendency to remain very quiet. However, as the memory of last night's unpleasant parting resurfaced, my shoulders sagged. Even though I should have been thankful that I still had a roof over my head, the idea that Carlisle had moved on left me feeling empty and sad. He had been my rock since my fallout with Evan and I had driven him away. As I dragged myself down to the kitchen, I had to force myself to not look inside his open bedroom door. After I fumbled my way through making a pot of coffee, I caught sight of a beautifully pale creature sitting across the room from me. I rubbed my eyes vigorously to make sure I wasn't seeing things.<p>

"Good morning," he said. His smile was brilliant.

"Hi," I stammered. "You're um… here."

"Well, yes. I live here."

"Oh. I thought you moved on," I said, trying in vain to sound nonchalant and failing miserably. "You know… after what happened last night."

"Did you really think I would leave you just because of a little disagreement?"

"Yes," I said guiltily.

His smile wavered. In a split second, he crossed the room and placed his arms around me. "Bella… I said I would stay with you, remember? As long as you wanted me around I'd stay." When I didn't immediately respond, he pulled back and looked at me. "You do still want me around don't you?"

I nodded and he embraced me tightly again. It was the closest we'd been physically since that night on the couch and it was rendering me a little speechless. I melted in his arms, relieved that my prayer had been answered: he came back. As I relished the moment, I couldn't help noticing that he had been breathing in deeply. Was he smelling my hair? Whatever he was doing, it felt intimate and it was causing a strange stirring in me. I gently pushed back.

"Ugh… maybe you shouldn't hold me so close. I smell." _Way to go, Bella. Sexy._

He looked confused for a moment but quickly regained his composure. "You most certainly do not," he said as he led me to the table. "I was wondering if you had any plans for today."

"Not really, no."

"Wonderful! Do you mind coming with me to the hardware store?"

From some reason I couldn't conjure up a mental image of Carlisle perusing the aisles of a Home Depot. In the past, if anything needed repair due to vampire rowdiness, it had always been Emmett or Jasper making the trip. Somehow the idea of Carlisle holding a hammer instead of a scalpel didn't quite mesh. "What do you plan on doing there?" I asked.

"You'll see."

Within the hour, after I had showered and changed into fresh clothes, we were speeding off to the hardware store in Gigi. I had to choke back a giggle when Carlisle insisted on getting a shopping cart. He pushed and I followed. Together, we meandered down the aisles for a few minutes until we reached the paint center. He took his time browsing through the paint swatches before he waved me over to join him.

"What do you think of this?"

"Um… it's green," I said, not quite understanding why he was asking me.

"You're right, too green." He placed the painted card back on its shelf. A few more seconds went by until he pulled out another card. "What about this one?"

"It's blue. Why exactly are you asking me about paint colors?"

Instead of getting annoyed at me for being a wet blanket, he flashed that same brilliant smile again. "I thought I'd get your opinion on what to paint the house."

_Huh? _"What for? I mean… what's wrong with its current color?" I stammered. He couldn't seriously want my input. This was definitely something that Esme excelled at and he would be sadly disappointed to learn that his new roommate is artistically dumb.

"I distinctly remember that we have a mission to make the house more habitable, although I would prefer the term 'homey' instead. I don't know about you, but the slate grey we have now looks far from comfortable. Since you and I both live there, I think it's only fair that both our opinions are taken into consideration in selecting new wall colors for _our home_."

Our home. It had a nice ring to it especially when he said it with such enthusiasm. He clearly wanted to make me feel comfortable. "You really are staying, aren't you?" I asked.

He reached for my hand and twined his fingers with mine. "Absolutely."

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><p>Although the house, the furniture, and paint were all bought with Carlisle's money, the work put in to make it homier was the product of our joint effort. Despite the fact that he could technically do everything himself in record time, Carlisle had insisted that I partake in the painting process. It was one thing to help choose colors at the store and another thing to climb ladders or paint baseboards. He was chivalrous, but never demeaning. He only made sure I didn't fall off high places or drop heavy items on my toes. For the most part he just let me be, even when I slipped on a splotch of paint on the floor. I appreciated it; I felt a lot less like a subordinate. For obvious reasons, he finished much sooner than I did, so he sat back and chaffed with me while I continued with what I was doing.<p>

"You missed a spot."

"I did not!"

He snorted and pointed at his beautiful amber eyes. "Exceptional vision."

"Oh, hush you!" I scoffed as I pushed myself to paint faster till I got to the point where I needed his reach. I was already a mess and I didn't want to add an injury to the mix by clambering up the extended ladder.

"Is it my turn again?"

"Yeah… my back's killing me," I whined. He took my roller brush and whipped through the last little bit of the wall. It never ceased to amaze me to see how quickly he could move.

"There… all finished!" He joined me on the drop-cloth-covered floor of my bedroom and we both stared at the fruits of our afternoon activity. "That's a very interesting color you've chosen," he commented.

"It reminds me of my Dad and Forks. I remember the day I arrived from Phoenix and Charlie showed me to my bedroom. My sheets were purple, sort of like this, and he explained that the color was apparently recommended by the salesperson. He was trying to convey how much he wanted me to feel comfortable despite being unsure of what I liked. It was still very sweet of him," I explained.

"I'm sure your father is immensely proud of how kind and caring his daughter is."

"I know," I replied as the sting of tears started up behind my eyes. It's been so long since I've spoken to Charlie and I felt guilty for not even reaching out to tell him that I was already back in Washington. "Anyways, this also reminds me of early evening. You know, the dusky purple that you see streaking the sky just when the sun's about to dip under the horizon?" Carlisle nodded and I hugged my knees to my chest. "I haven't seen it much in Washington, of course, but at least I could see part of the sunset in here even when it's cloudy outside."

"That's a nice idea. I guess you'd know where to find me on a cloudy day," he teased and I turned around to smack him playfully on his leg. It was times like that when I loved being around Carlisle. He seemed to know the perfect thing to say to draw me away from feeling too dejected.

"Come on," I said as I got up. "Let's get this mess cleaned up. I fear my stomach will soon demand its dinner."

We decided to divide up the cleanup tasks. While I folded up the drop-cloths, Carlisle collected the paint cans, the rollers, and the ladder. After I had placed the last cloth on top of the folded pile, I wiped the back of my hand across my forehead in relief. "Ugh… I hope we won't have to do that again anytime soon. Painting is a lot of work!"

He chuckled at my comment. "Didn't you have any fun at all?"

I smirked. "Okay, maybe a little bit. But I'm not sure how you managed to keep yourself so clean. I mean, look at me!" I gestured at my hands and clothes.

His earlier chuckle turned into a full-blown, mirthful laugh before he excused him from the room. A few seconds later, he returned with a damp washcloth in hand. Instead of handing it to me, however, he gently began to wipe away the paint that I had unknowingly smeared on my forehead, while his other hand held on to my shoulder. I couldn't help but be entranced by the look of concentration set on his attractive face. While I idly wondered how many women would kill to be in my position now, his eyes suddenly locked with mine. My stomach did a flip and I quickly averted my gaze.

"So… you didn't tell me the reason behind the color choice for your room. Why brown?"

"Well… brown is warm," he said. "It's earthy and it reminds me of life. It is rich… full of depth." As he spoke, I felt the washcloth slowly trail down and come to rest at my chin. "It's a color so deep and complex that one could easily lose himself in it." Despite my nervousness a minute before, I dared myself to look up. Again our eyes met but only for a fleeting moment before we both dropped our gaze.

I bit my lip at what he said. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to him, but I could feel some kind of tension building. Had it been anyone else, I would have little doubt that those words were describing my eyes in a lover's light – that he felt something more than just friendship for me. But they were spoken by Carlisle. He was an old friend with a beautiful family and a beautiful wife.

_A wife that he left behind years ago…_

It was impossible for him to see me more than just another member of his family and his son's ex-girlfriend.

_Yet here he is… staying with you… making a home with you._

It wasn't making sense to me and with him in such close proximity it was getting to be too much. I jerked away from his touch as though I got burned. "Um… I think I'll take care of the rest."

His hands fell to his side and with a slight nod he said, "Of course."

I mumbled a "see you in a bit" and hastily grabbed a change of clothes before darting to my bathroom. As soon as I closed the door, I let out a trembling sigh. I wasn't about to guess what just happened moments before, but there was no denying that we had reached a new level of awkwardness between us. I raised a paint-spattered hand up to my cheek and wondered at the heat emanating from it. When I walked up to the mirror to inspect it, I was caught off guard by the reflection of a young woman thoroughly smeared in paint with scarlet cheeks and a whisper of a smile on her lips.

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><p><strong>AN (yes, another one):** You might have noticed that my updates have been on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, they'll take a little bit longer going forward since my published chapters have caught up to what I have available. Thanks again for sticking by the story and leaving wonderful words of encouragement. You can always add my story to your alerts, if you haven't already.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Thanks to StormDragonfly, my ever patient beta, for taking the time to look over the chapter in record time. Any typos or grammatical errors in the chapter are mine alone.

Thanks also for the surprising number of story/fav story/fav author alerts. You guys are so kind!

Twilight isn't mine. No copyright infringement was intended.

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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

I found Carlisle's note waiting for me after I emerged from my room. It simply stated that he had gone off on a hunt and wouldn't be back until much later on. It was disappointing that he had been in such a hurry to leave, but I couldn't blame his haste due to the situation we'd found ourselves in barely an hour ago. All those uncomfortable glances – the tension – had sent us both running to our respective corners: me in my bathroom and him in the green wilderness just beyond the city limits. It was probably better this way, considering that I didn't know if I could face him without my face heating up and my heart hammering against my chest. Still… the house felt lonely without the clacking sound of his typing or seeing him sitting leisurely with a book in hand. Sighing, I went back to my room to grab my keys and cell phone.

Despite the fading daylight, it was still quite warm outside. Autumn would soon arrive, so I opted to enjoy the pleasant weather while I still had the chance. I walked a short distance until I happened upon an empty bench overlooking the bay. Surprisingly, there was no one else around except for the gulls that fought each other over scraps of ground litter. It was time I called Charlie and with some trepidation, I dialed the number to my house in Forks.

"Hello," my father greeted in his usual gruff voice.

"Hi, Dad."

"Kiddo! I was starting to wonder when I'd hear from you. How are things?"

_I'm great_, I wanted to say, but I decided against it. It would take way too much energy to fake enthusiasm, and even if he wouldn't call me out on it, he would still know that I was far from feeling all that wonderful. "I'm fine. How about you?"

"You know the usual – work, fishing and the sports channel," he said. "So, Bells… when were you thinking of heading back to Washington? Unless of course, uh, you and…"

Yes, I definitely knew where his inquiry was going and understood his hesitation. Even though Charlie was fond of Evan, I was sure that he was like any other father who, to some degree, dreaded the day that someone would take his daughter far away. If he had any say in the matter, I was certain that Charlie would try to convince us to settle as close to Forks as possible. "Well, you see, Dad… actually… I'm already back in Seattle."

"Is that right?" he asked, immediately perking up. "That's good! I'm glad that you and Evan have decided on settling down closer to home."

I winced and I was very thankful that this conversation was happening over the phone instead of face to face. The smile behind his voice was evident. Not only would he keep his daughter close, but he would be gaining a future son-in-law that shared his interest in watching sports. I hated to have to tell him the disappointing news. "Uh… that's the thing… I sort of came alone. Evan's staying in Vancouver."

"Oh?"

"Things didn't quite work out."

"Oh."

"Yup."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Bella. I'm assuming that you're staying with Angela for now?"

"Um… I'm not. I have my own place." It wasn't entirely true and I worried that he would ask more questions, so I quickly backtracked. "I mean, it belongs to Alice Cullen's family, but they said that I could stay here since they're out in the east."

"Uh-huh… and you're staying there by yourself? Edward isn't miraculously going to show up one day and –"

"Dad! It's been years," I interrupted, my cheeks flaming with indignation. It was hard to say whether I flipped out because of his insinuations or because I was guilty of lying about living alone. In the end, it didn't matter. I wasn't about to confess to Charlie that I was actually living with Edward's supposed father instead – because _that_ didn't sound a hundred times worse.

"Okay, okay. Sorry for bringing that up," he pacified.

"It's okay," I said begrudgingly. "Anyway, I should get something for supper. I'll call again soon, okay?"

"Sure, kid. If you need anything, just call. I'm here for you."

I nodded even though he couldn't see it. "Thanks, Dad."

* * *

><p>Some two weeks after my call with Charlie, I found myself fidgeting in the living room. I was beginning to feel restless. I had applied for several jobs shortly after coming back to Washington, but so far, there hadn't been a callback. With just a general BA degree, there wasn't much of a defined career path set out for me, but with my student loans to pay and my depleted savings, it was absolutely necessary to find work soon. I applied at various coffee shops and retail stores, but I was hoping that I would get one of the positions at the Seattle Public Library System instead. Of course it was likely that I would only end up stacking books or mopping floors, since I didn't have any substantial librarian credentials. Still… I would prefer that to selling perfume to pretentious women with ridiculous credit limits.<p>

After checking my cell phone for the hundredth time in the last hour, I finally convinced myself to read something to keep my mind occupied. Just as I cracked a novel open, I caught sight of Carlisle glancing up at me briefly from the kitchen. He had a few hefty looking volumes I knew nothing about spread out on the entire surface of the table. He didn't volunteer any information to me and I hadn't asked about them. I frowned at the current unease between us. Things were by no means unpleasant, but our comfort around each other had definitely regressed since the painting incident. Instead of casual banters and playful nudges, we were excessively polite and kept more than a respectable amount of distance. It was awkward… and painfully so.

I sighed irritably as I tried to get past the two sentences that I had been reading over and over again. None of the words were registering in my brain. That or maybe my eyes were just blind to whatever was in front of them. I wished more than anything that my phone would ring and bring me some employment news, even if they were just a bunch of rejections. At least I would know something instead of waiting anxiously day after day. I grabbed my phone and examined it only to groan in exasperation. Except for the time displayed, nothing had changed from the last time I looked at it – no missed calls, nothing. As I shoved the phone back into my pocket, I felt movement on the opposite end of the sofa.

"I'm having some problems with concentration today. You seem to be having the same problem as well."

I looked up to find Carlisle leaning against the armrest. Of course, he was more than an arm's length away – the norm of the last couple of weeks. "That's quite the understatement for me," I replied, tossing the book aside.

"Would you like to discuss what's troubling you?" he asked carefully.

I recognized the initial dance people usually do when trying to reach out. It was up to me to meet him halfway. I missed what we had – I miss him. So what if we might never resolve what happened during those intensely awkward moments many days ago? We needed to get past it… I _wanted_ to get past it. "Well… I was hoping to hear from one of the places that I applied at by now."

"Where have you applied so far?"

"Um… a few coffee shops, some retail stores in downtown… Oh and I also applied for a couple of positions at the public library." The sound of me verbally listing them felt pathetic, so I launched into my explanation hurriedly. "I know they're not the exactly the proper post-grad occupation. I should definitely be aiming for something more… and I will. It's just that, I have no income and I have student loan payments to make. So… retail, grocery bagger, barista – whatever. It's just temporary."

He listened without interrupting and when I finished babbling he was thoughtful for a minute. "I remember a similar conversation years ago. We talked about college applications and I offered you some assistance with tuition." He smiled warmly at the memory. "Of course you preferred to take sole responsibility for your education back then and I have no doubt that you feel the same about it today."

"I do."

"Just as I thought. I have great faith in your decisions, so if you think that working a temporary job for now is best, then I support you."

"Thanks..."

"However, I do have one request."

I quirked my brow up in confusion. "Uh, what would that be?"

"I ask that you save every penny for your loans and whatever personal expenses you have. Just don't allocate any of your pay toward rent."

"How did you know…"

"You may not be insisting on paying rent now, but I know it's only a matter of time until you start. You aren't the type to rely heavily on the kindness of others." He smiled knowingly at me. "Besides, there's no sense in paying rent to someone who doesn't want to make a profit on something he already owns. Well, that and… I don't really want to sully our circumstances by being treated like a landlord."

We were silent for a few beats as I contemplated what he said. "So, what is this exactly?" I asked, gesturing between us. "If we're not landlord and tenant, what are we?" I already knew what he was going to say, but something in me wanted to hear him say it out loud and confirm it.

He furrowed his brows so slightly that I probably would've missed it if I hadn't been looking at him. "We're friends who live together, Bella."

Of course. But my mind was flooded by the memory of him holding me close, gently wiping the paint off my forehead. The glances we stole. The emotional charge between us that didn't seem appropriate between those who claim to be just friends. Yet that was what we were. Inexplicably, something inside me sank a little.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know what came over me. Of course that's what we are," I said. He looked satisfied by what I said and moved from the armrest to sit next to me. For the first time in what felt like a long time, he placed his arm securely around my shoulders. I pressed myself closer to him and breathed in his comforting scent. "I'm sorry that things have been a bit uncomfortable lately."

"Why are you sorry? It's just the way things are sometimes."

"I don't mean just lately. It seems that things get unsettled between us after I say or do something stupid."

"What do you mean?"

"I was thinking about the night you told me about living like a nomad after you left the family. It bothered me and I had no right to feel that way. I practically pressured you into talking about your immediate past with me only to end up behaving like a slighted brat when I didn't like what I heard."

He sighed softly. "I can't blame you for being disappointed in me because I feel the same way. You're right about me being indolent the last two years. Your disapproval was completely warranted."

"But why did you really leave?" I asked cautiously in fear of tempting another argument. I half expected Carlisle to pull away, but he did nothing of the sort. Instead, he pulled me more snugly against him.

"I left because of Esme. I wanted to give her a chance at true love."

I was stunned. "_True love_? But isn't that what you two have?"

"It's love, in a manner of speaking. We cared and supported each other over many decades. We were partners – great friends – but I do not believe that we were ever truly in love.

"I'm not sure if you're aware that I met Esme as a young woman before she was married. She was bright – lovely – and I was quite smitten by her charm. When I learned of what she had suffered through years later, I grieved for the waste that had become of her life, so I saved her in the only way that I could. When she opened her eyes for the first time, I was gripped with happiness, relief – all the wonderful feelings. I had mistaken them for falling in love. I mean, how could it not be love? Who would not fall in love with such a beautiful woman who had taken to her second life with such grace?"

I nodded to convey my agreement, though I was honestly more concerned about not turning into the shade of green I felt inside. Was I envious because I would never attain such physical beauty or was I envious because _he_ found her beautiful? I swallowed thickly at the irrationality of my thoughts.

He went on, seemingly unaware of my somewhat divided attention. "Unfortunately, it took many years for me to realize that our relationship, though loving, lacked the passion that I've seen in other couples. Of course, with only Rosalie and Emmett to compare to in the beginning, I assumed that our love was merely of the quieter and calmer type. But after Alice and Jasper joined the family, my earlier suspicion resurfaced and it didn't take long for Esme to make the same observation as well. We became more than a little envious of the other couples. Knowing what we were missing and the likelihood that we would not find it from each other, I wanted to do the right thing and give her a chance to find someone who could love her the way she deserved. It pains me to leave my companion and my family, but it is the only way I could think of that would leave her free to find love without interference."

"Agape," I murmured in reference to unselfish and benevolent love.

"If only that was true," he replied while he shook his head slowly. "It would be agape if I was doing this solely for her. It would be a selfless act if I didn't leave to avoid the pain of watching her find someone to fall in love with."

"It couldn't be helped," I reasoned. "You have been with her for almost a century. Even if you say you weren't truly in love with her, it would still hurt a great deal to watch your best friend pledge herself to another person if you didn't have someone as well.

"Now that you've explained why you left, I can understand why you wouldn't want to be around anyone... why you'd want to keep moving. Seeing families in hospitals or watching neighbors receive visitors would only remind you of what you walked away from." I placed my hand reassuringly on top of the one he had on my shoulder. "It may not be much, but I'm here for you, Carlisle, if you're willing to put up with me."

"My dear Bella," he said as he pressed a kiss on my head, "you have no idea how much it means to me to have you here."

I nodded, unable to formulate an appropriate response to his sentiment. He gave my shoulders an appreciative squeeze before returning to the kitchen to resume his activity. I remained where I sat and thought about Esme on the other side of the continent. Out of a daughterly sense of obligation, I hoped that she would not be without her soulmate for very long. I couldn't think of anyone more deserving than the woman who loved and found good in everyone.

As I watched Carlisle flip through his books, I realized that I couldn't find that same familial feeling for him that I had toward his onetime wife. Instead, I wondered how much of what I knew of him was distorted by the romanticized view of the naïve high school student that I used to be. Now that I had come to view the world with a little less idealism over the years, I found myself wanting to get to know him all over again. I wanted to know what made him happy, what pushed his buttons – what made him _him_.

_But to what end?_ I asked myself, to which I had no immediate answer.

* * *

><p>"Really, Ang, you didn't have to visit me at work."<p>

"Of course I do. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't keep tabs on my best pal?" she said as she took a sip of her mochaccino.

"A phone call would've sufficed." I smiled despite my snarky tone. Truth was, I was glad that Angela had dropped by in the middle of the afternoon at the café I worked at near the university campus. I had only been working there for a few days and already I was bored to tears. However, I wouldn't even begin to complain since Ellen, the owner, was nice enough to give me more hours than her other employees. I was sure that much of that had to do with the fact that they were full time students and I was not, but it didn't change how thankful I was.

"Yeah, well, I need to talk to you about something and I didn't want to go over it on the phone."

"Hold on a sec," I said before I made a quick dash to the back room. I wanted to make sure Ellen was still out on errands before I got into a potentially deep personal conversation. Seeing no sign of her, I walked back to Angela who was eyeing a lemon chiffon cupcake. I grabbed one from inside the glass enclosure and placed it on a small plate. "This one's on me, now spill."

"So… Evan called last night," she said without preamble. "He wanted to check up on you, but he was too afraid that you wouldn't talk to him."

"How is he?" I asked, averting my eyes.

"He didn't say much, but I can tell he's still pretty hung up on you. Listen, Bella… I think you should talk to him. It's been weeks and I don't think you two had a proper closure."

"I know, you're right about the closure thing, but I don't know what he's expecting. I've moved on with my life already, Ang. I don't know if that'll just hurt him more."

"He's a grown man. You just have to say your peace and let him handle it. If he's still thinking that you'd get back together with him, then perhaps it would be a great kindness to free him of that false hope."

I chewed my lip thoughtfully before nodding in agreement.

Later that night, after clearing my dishes, I excused myself from the house and walked the short distance to the same bench where I made the call to Charlie. Unlike that time, when the breeze still carried the warmth of the afternoon sun, the evening air tonight had a slight chill to it. I dialed Evan's number and pulled my twill jacket tighter around my body as I waited for him to answer. He picked up after the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ev," I answered.

"Bella! I'm so glad to hear from you. Uh, I hate to do this, but can you hold on for a sec? I'm just finishing up something here at work…"

"It's okay. I can call you back if it's a bad time –"

"No! Please, don't hang up. This will only take a second, I promise," he protested. I heard his muffled voice give out some instructions to someone in the background. He sounded really eager to finish up and continue our call, so I waited patiently on the line. "Hi, I'm back."

"Hi."

"I'm glad you called."

"You said that already."

He gave a shaky laugh. "Sorry… I guess I'm a little nervous."

"Don't be... I'm still me."

"I know. So, how are you?"

"I'm okay… Actually, I'm doing pretty well."

"That's really good to hear."

"How about you? Are you doing okay up there?"

"Work's been keeping me busy, but not busy enough."

"What do you mean?" I asked. From what I remembered about his current job, he had a heavy workload that usually prevented us from spending too much time together. I suddenly felt a pang of concern upon hearing that he wanted to be even busier than he already was.

"I just like to be kept occupied," he replied tiredly. "It keeps me from thinking about my personal life and how pathetic it is."

"I see."

Silence.

"Is it alright with you if I come down for a visit?"

"Oh… I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Please? I just want to see for myself how you're doing – to know firsthand that you're really okay. I thought maybe I could bring the things you left behind here, if you want."

Although it had already been a few weeks since I saw him last, I wasn't sure that I was ready to see him. A phone call still had some guise of safety because we couldn't touch and see each other. Yet with the way I walked out on him, I felt a little like I owed him at least this one request. "Um… I guess we can work something out."

"Really? I was afraid that you'd say no." Evan sighed audibly, with what I guessed was relief. "Is there somewhere specific you want to meet up?"

"We can meet where I work, if you like. I can text you the address and decide on when."

"Okay, that sounds good. I guess I'll be hearing from you."

"Yeah, soon," I said as I fiddled with my sleeve.

"Okay. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Ev."

After hitting the "End" button, I leaned back against the hard, cold bench and watched the sky get progressively inkier by the minute. I replayed our short conversation a few times in my mind and thought about how much I missed the sound of his voice. It would be lying to deny that a part of me still lamented over the loss of what we would've become had things been different.

I lost track of how much time had passed until I felt someone drape a soft throw around my shoulders. I glanced up and found a smiling Carlisle bent slightly toward me from the back of the bench. "Thanks."

"I was worried that you might be getting cold."

I shivered, noticing for the first time that a cold breeze had started sometime during my musings. "It's a good thing that you came," I said as I secured the small blanket around me.

"Shall we head home then?" he asked as he held out his hand to me.

I placed my hand in his, which he tucked under his arm. "Yes, let's go."

At some point during the walk home, I found myself leaning against him, all thoughts of Evan quickly taking a backseat.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Thank you to StormDragonfly for the wonderful beta work, and to all who have continued to follow the story despite the longer wait time between updates. Any typos or grammatical errors in the chapter are mine alone.

Twilight isn't mine. No copyright infringement was intended.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

I smiled warmly at the sight of the townhouse as I pulled up on the driveway. The inviting glow of the light from behind the windows made it look like a beacon against the twilit backdrop of the sky. As much as I wanted to jump out and run to get inside, I steadied myself and sat back a little longer to savor the comfortable situation that my life was currently in. Of course if someone had asked me months ago if this was what I had expected – that I would be coming home to an ex-boyfriend's father-figure and eating Chinese take-out on my birthday – I would have laughed outright. Actually, what I had expected back then was a romantic dinner with Evan – perhaps at that fancy restaurant on Kits Beach overlooking English Bay.

I wondered if I would've continued to be happy in my ignorance had I not discovered Evan's infidelity. _Maybe._ It was easy to be with him, despite the limited time we spent together in Vancouver. But after the surprise office visit, I found little regret in leaving. It jarred me at first when I realized how unprepared I was for a life without him. I had to get up and brush myself off and start again with help from someone I least expected.

Then the phone call happened. It was nerve-wracking, to say the least, but it was civil. Since then, Evan and I sent a couple of text messages to each other trying to settle on a day when he could come down for a short visit. He mentioned having to get a few things sorted out at work first, which made him uncertain of when he could come down. Admittedly, I fibbed a little about how irregular my schedule at work was just to make things more difficult. I wasn't looking forward to seeing him right away, even though we were long due for the "proper closure" that Angela had suggested.

While I continued to muse in my Jeep, I saw the front door open, allowing some of the light from inside the house to spill out on the front steps. He came out in a slow fluid motion and leaned against the doorframe. It took everything in me to keep from gaping at him. I quickly grabbed my things and my paper bag of take-out to join him.

"I thought you'd never come in," Carlisle said with a smirk.

"Oh, I was just admiring the house for a bit. It's very pretty with all the lights on and the sky looking the way it does now," I replied, gesturing up and around with my chin awkwardly.

He laughed good-humoredly and relieved my arms of their burden in one swift movement. "Don't come in yet. Wait here," he said, and then disappeared behind the door. Before it could close all the way, he was already back, barring the entrance. I raised my brows at him. "I have a surprise for you."

"What? No... Carlisle, I thought we agreed not to get me any more things," I protested and reached for the door handle.

"Nuh-uh, this one doesn't count. Today is a special day." He wedged himself farther between me and the door so that I had to pull my hand back.

But instead of feeling indignant over his violation of the agreement we had made, I found myself giggling at his expression of "nuh-uh." It was the first time I heard him speak like that. It was so informal, so current, and so _youthful _that it caught me a little off guard. In the few weeks that we'd been living under the same roof, I noticed that his formal, very put-together persona had been slowly turning into something more casual and relaxed. It began with the clothes and apparently it had spread to his speech as well. I liked it – maybe a little too much, based on the unwelcome warmth growing on my cheeks.

"Okay, okay. I won't be a pain today. Let's see it," I said and he rewarded me with a dazzling smile.

He went behind me and covered my eyes with a scarf. "No peeking," he teased and I suppressed another giggle when he placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me inside. After a few steps in, I felt the warm indoor air waft over my skin. Carlisle pulled the scarf off and I opened my eyes to the brightly lit living room. There, nestled against the wall adjacent to the large window, was a new addition that hadn't been there when I left for work.

"Happy birthday, Bella," he said as he planted a kiss on my temple.

"Carlisle…" I gasped. "You got me a piano?"

"Do you remember that afternoon a few years ago when I asked if you wanted more lessons?" he asked. "I thought that since we see each other all the time now, we can resume those lessons… that is, if you're still interested –"

I couldn't believe that he remembered my enthusiasm to play on that rainy afternoon long ago. It was a sweet gesture and I could barely contain the gratitude I felt for his thoughtfulness. Before he could finish what he was saying, I had already spun around and kissed him on the cheek. Unfortunately, due to my poor aim, my lips landed just to the corner of his mouth instead. I pulled back as soon as I realized what I had done.

"Well, I take that as a very enthusiastic 'yes,'" he said, his eyes dancing.

My heart pattered at his reaction to my kiss. He looked pleased and I was surprised to find myself equally gratified that I had made him feel that way. I walked over to my present and ran my fingers gently on the smooth ebony surface, taking note of the name "Mason & Hamlin" stamped in old English text across the front. I didn't know anything about piano brands, but I was thankful that it was a rather modest-looking upright instead of an extravagant grand like Edward's.

"Do you like it?" he asked softly close behind me.

"It's beautiful," I said as I turned to meet his gaze. "I never thought I'd ever have one."

"Now you do. Why don't you give it a try?"

I raised both my hands in front of me. "Oh no, I haven't touched a piano since that afternoon with you and I don't remember much from that lesson. How about you play something for me instead?"

"Bella, this is yours. It wouldn't be right if you weren't the first person in this house to strike the first note."

"Fine," I said as I pushed the fallboard back and placed my right hand on the keys. Very carefully, as though it would break, I pressed down on a key and sustained the note for a few moments before facing Carlisle again. "Okay, your turn."

"That wasn't what I meant," he protested, though he couldn't quite hide the grin that formed on his lips.

"Please, Carlisle. I love it – I really do – but I just want to listen to something beautiful instead of clumsy clacking."

He sighed as he relented. "Alright… it is your birthday, after all." He sat down with the grace of a practiced concert pianist and began a sweet, tender melody. Unlike the hectic pieces that Edward tended to gravitate toward, Carlisle's selection was unhurried and simpler. However, I found it deceptively deep and complex. On the surface it sounded happy, but it had some undercurrents of yearning – at least it sounded that way to me.

He stopped mid-passage and looked curiously at me. "Bella?"

I was woken from my music-induced reverie. I didn't realize that I had moved very close to him during his impromptu performance. "That sounds wonderful."

"I'm glad you like it. Do you want me to teach it to you?"

"I don't know… it seems above my skill level. I'm going to butcher it."

He scooted over to the left and patted the empty space next to him. "I'll show you how to play the right-hand and tomorrow I'll get a copy of the whole score for you." I gave him a dubious look and he chuckled softly. "I remember you were the same way a long time ago and you did alright in the end."

That swayed me. When I finally settled down next to Carlisle, my fingers began to twitch in anticipation. The first little bit was simple enough and I imitated his finger movements with ease two octaves up. But as we got to the chords my fingers felt weak and the notes I played sounded garbled. I tried it a couple more times to no avail.

"Here, it's all in the fingering." He stood up and leaned over me from behind. He laid his right hand directly on top of mine while his left hand rested comfortably on my shoulder. "Try to use these fingers to play the first two chords. Oh and keep the finger arch strong… don't let your middle finger collapse." He lifted his hand from mine and I did what I was told. The improvement was instant. "Again," he said, so I played the same set of chords again. He got me to repeat it a few more times before he said "Now, from the beginning."

I was so focused on what I was doing that it took me a second to realize that I had successfully reached the end of the stanza. "Oh my God, I did it! No mistakes!" I exclaimed as I turned my head to the side. He was still leaning over me, our faces mere inches away.

"See? I knew you could do it," he said.

Our eyes locked together.

"Thanks…" I replied breathily.

There was intensity to his look and I found myself reaching up to touch his face. He leaned lightly into my hand and I could feel a force pulling us closer and closer together. I swallowed nervously and closed my eyes. His breath was on my skin. Without a doubt I knew that our lips were going to meet, so I remained still and waited for him to close the gap. It didn't happen. Without warning, the cool feel of his skin disappeared from my hand, and when I opened my eyes, I saw him walking towards the front door.

_What the hell…_

I was confused at first until the overwhelming feeling of disappointment crashed over me. My instinct to hide kicked in. Just as I was about to retreat to my room to nurse my bruised ego, I heard a distinct voice that I had not heard in a long time.

"Hello, Carlisle!" There was a momentary silence. "Aren't you going to invite us in?"

"Of course, Alice. Please come in."

Upon hearing the word "us," my mind began to wonder who was with her – all traces of my disappointment fizzling away. As I got up to join the others by the front door, I was immediately encircled by strong slender arms.

"Happy birthday, Bella! I can't believe it's been years since we've seen each other!"

"Oh my God, Alice!" I squealed as I tried to get my arms loose to give her a hug in return. She wouldn't have any of my squirming so she spun around in circles hugging me close to her.

When she finally released me, I stepped back and turned my attention to the other visitors. There stood Jasper and Edward, both looking as tall and beautiful as the day I last laid eyes on them. Jasper nodded politely in greeting while Edward was leaning back casually against the wall with his signature crooked smile on his face. He pushed himself off the wall and walked lithely over to me.

"You look good, Bella," he said as he held my hands in his.

"Time's been kind to you as well," I said, grinning from ear to ear. "So, what brings you all in the neighborhood?"

"The three of us were on our way back east from Peter and Charlotte's, but we thought we'd drop by to see you and Carlisle."

"How did you know that I was here?" I asked automatically and then I shifted my gaze to Alice, who tapped at her temple coyly. "Oh, right. So how come it's taken you so long to come for a visit?"

Alice and Jasper exchanged _a look_, but it was Edward who answered. "We just thought it would be nice to surprise you on your birthday."

"I see… well, it's great having you here. I'm hoping we can spend some time together before you have to go again." It was an invitation that I should have cleared with Carlisle first. I looked guiltily at Carlisle, hoping I didn't overstep my bounds. "That is, if Carlisle's okay with it."

"Of course, you are all welcome to stay as long as you wish," he said pleasantly, though I had detected some reservation to his tone. I sincerely hoped he wasn't upset in any way because of what almost happened earlier.

Edward's smile grew. "Great! Then we'll stay a while."

"In that case, I'll have plenty of time to catch up with Bella," Alice piped in. "I could use a hunt tonight. Jasper and I are famished."

"I'll remain here with Bella if you want to join them, Carlisle," Edward suggested.

Carlisle looked at me uncertainly. "Alright… I guess I'll see you in the morning."

I nodded in the affirmative just as Edward's arm snaked around my waist. Carlisle looked disapproving, much to my surprise.

After the vampires left for their hunt, I headed over to the kitchen for my dinner. During the excitement over my present and the arrival of our visitors, I had ignored the protestations of my stomach. I could feel Edward's eyes on me as I transferred some food from the cartons.

"It's been a while since I've smelled human food," Edward commented as I finished heating my take-out in the microwave.

I rolled my eyes at him and set my laden plate across the kitchen table from him. "Get used to it."

He laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'm glad you haven't changed."

"Well, I have changed… I aged, obviously, and I've gone through a few things. Of course you would know about what's been going on with me if you had actually kept in touch." I meant to sound joking, but my disappointment over his lack of correspondence made me sound bitter instead.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to stop communicating."

I sighed. We were just reunited again after many years and it wasn't the time to start a fight. "No, don't be sorry. I sort of expected that things wouldn't be the same over long distance."

We were quiet then. Edward excused himself and went into the living room while I picked away at my dinner. When I had my fill, I cleared away the dishes and followed after him. He was looking out the window admiring the view. "So, what is it like?" I asked as I settled on the sofa, tucking my legs under me.

"What's what like?"

"You know… Carlisle and Esme's separation. What's it like for your family to be so changed? How are the rest of you coping?"

"There isn't anything to cope with. It's not like we're children who watched their parents go through a messy divorce, Bella. We're all adults – a few times over. There is no resentment towards either of them for deciding to split up. We all trust that they've done what's best for them. Besides, it was a long time coming."

I wondered if he and the rest of the family were privy to the details that brought them to their decision, but I wasn't about to test that guess. "How is Esme?"

"She's as well as can be, given the circumstances. She keeps herself busy."

"Does she get lonely? I mean, of course it must be horrible to lose one's longtime companion. But other than work, does she go out at all to, you know, meet other people?"

Edward turned to face me with an amused expression. "You mean to find someone new?"

"Yes."

"Well, Rose and Alice brought her along to some college party that they were invited to. Esme was horrified," he snickered. "After that, she wouldn't hear of anymore outings with those two."

"I guess I can see why she was against the college party. After being with Carlisle for so long, why would she want to hang around a bunch of drunken frat boys?" He raised a questioning brow at me. "Why are you looking at me that way? It's true that college parties are usually frequented by frat boys _and_ girls. And as for the Carlisle comment… well he's leagues above them. Everyone knows that," I stated matter-of-factly.

Thankfully he didn't pursue the conversation further. It had been a long day and I was getting pretty tired. When I failed to suppress a yawn, Edward was the one who suggested that I get some rest.

"We'll still be here when you wake up. I promise that you and I will have more time to talk. Alice and Jasper want to spend time with you, too."

"Knowing Alice, it'll take a lot to keep up with her," I grinned. "Okay then, until tomorrow. Goodnight, Edward."

He gave me a warm smile along with a wave and I turned for the stairs. Tonight was definitely full of good surprises and the next day was promising to be just as interesting.

As I snuggled into bed, I thought about that almost-kiss with Carlisle. I was sure it was going to happen – I wanted it to happen – but he pulled away. Was it because he heard the others coming or was there some other reason? Whatever it was, I wouldn't know for sure unless I asked him about it.

* * *

><p>"You can't just stare at me like that, Alice. It's getting kind of creepy," I hissed as I glared at her across Ellen's café.<p>

Jasper covered his mouth to suppress a laugh while Alice playfully smacked him on the arm. She stood and pranced over to the glass enclosure that contained the baked goods next to me. "Hmmm… what is that twisty looking thing?" she asked, making a show of interest in food that she wouldn't be able to eat.

"Cinnamon twist," I said.

"Okay, I'll have two of those – one for me and one for Jasper."

"You know, wasting food is generally frowned upon," I chided.

"Well, if I have food on my table, then you won't have a reason to kick us out."

"I just don't see why you couldn't wait for me to get home. My shift is only a few hours this afternoon."

"Because, Bella," she cooed, "I don't want to waste a second away from you. I haven't seen you in a very long time."

I was about to open my mouth to deliver a smart-ass comment when I got interrupted by the soft bleep of my cell phone. I retrieved my phone from the front pocket of my apron and saw a text message from Evan.

_**Hi. All's good on my side. Are you going to be free anytime this week?**_

I stared unseeingly at my phone screen as I formulated in my mind another excuse to put off meeting him.

"You probably shouldn't keep putting it off," Alice said, breaking through my thoughts. I knew without asking that she was referring to my message.

"I know… but I'm not sure if I'm ready to deal with him yet," I replied and shoved the phone back into my apron. She gave me a small sympathetic smile and walked back to her table.

The last hour and a half of my shift went by very quickly and I was still no closer to knowing what to text back to Evan. While the three of us walked to where I parked, Jasper politely excused himself and took off in another direction. I gave Alice a quizzical look.

"I asked Jasper if we could have some time to talk. Just you and me," she said as she linked her arms with mine.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked.

"This game of tag that you're playing with Evan… it has to end at some point, don't you think?"

"Maybe," I said, my eyes narrowing slightly. "Don't take this the wrong way, Alice, but I don't think it's any of your concern." It wasn't a kind thing to say. If it bothered her, she didn't let it show.

"I just want you to be happy. If you tie up your loose ends with him sooner rather than later, you'll be able to finally move on with your life."

"How much about Evan and me do you know?"

"Quite a bit actually… I know that he was your first love since Edward. I know you went with him to Vancouver over the summer," she rattled off as though she was reading from a list. "I also know how he broke your heart."

"I wonder if we would be having this conversation if you had warned me that my relationship with him was doomed to fail," I said a tad too bitterly.

Alice's grip on my arm loosened and our pace halted to a stop. "I honestly didn't know that it would turn out that way until the day he decided to give in to temptation," she said, her voice betraying a small trace of hurt. "Even if I did, you know I couldn't tell you, Bella. I really do believe that things happen for a reason."

I couldn't be sure what purpose my heartbreak had for the future, but I could at least try to understand Alice's position. It couldn't be easy for her to hold her tongue when she has visions of unpleasant things, especially if they had to do with her loved ones. It was a responsibility I wouldn't want for myself.

"It's fine, Alice. I understand," I said as I tried to force a smile on my face. She seemed to appreciate my attempt to make peace, so she pulled on my arm to continue our walk back to my Jeep.

The first few minutes on the ride back to the house were quiet. Alice took in the sights from the passenger side while I carefully wove through the rush hour traffic. I regretted the tone that I had taken with her earlier, especially since there were a few things I still wanted to ask her. While I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, thinking of how to strike up a conversation, she spoke up.

"It's okay to ask me anything. Just keep in mind that I might not always be able to give you a satisfactory answer."

"I'll keep that in mind," I grinned. "So… was Evan part of the reason why you and the rest of the family kind of dropped off?"

"Partly, yes," she answered. She shifted in her seat to face me. "I had a vision of you meeting him and I saw how happy you were. You had a chance to live a life without the complications that came with being affiliated to us. So, we backed off and let you decide how much of us you wanted in your life."

My immediate reaction was shame. When I noticed her correspondences dwindle in the latter part of my second year of college, I convinced myself that the long distance just wore away at our friendship. But after hearing her side of the story, I now realized that I had been the one who ended it. I didn't try hard enough to keep up with them because I had been so wrapped up in my own life with insufficient regard for what they thought and felt. I was a terrible friend.

"You shouldn't feel bad about it, Bella. We all understood how busy your life had become. Besides, we had some issues to deal with on our end that we didn't want to worry you with."

"Carlisle and Esme," I stated.

She nodded in response. "It was becoming evident to the rest of us that whatever problems they were having weren't going to be easily fixed."

"Still… you were like family to me. I should've been there for you and everyone else."

"Things happen for a reason," she said for the second time that day.

"It creeps me out when you say things that. It's like something big is looming on the horizon and I have no idea what to do about it."

Alice laughed it off. "It's going to be fine. I know I have a tendency to be cryptic at times, but you'll just have to trust me on this."

That night, as I settled under my sheets, I thought about what Alice had said about Evan. According to her, he had given in to temptation, which meant that he didn't go looking for someone behind my back on purpose. It sounded like it just happened, but it didn't change the fact that it sucked. Still, I couldn't prevent my mind from picturing a sultry Nick throwing herself on him. I braced myself for the wave of nausea that I was sure to have at the thought of them writhing together, but to my surprise I had no impulse to vomit. I forced myself to remember the afternoon when I caught them together, thinking that an actual memory would surely trigger a response from me. Nothing. I didn't feel sick. I didn't even feel any hurt.

_Am I over him?_

I got up and retrieved my cell phone from my bag, resolute in what I was about to do. Alice and Angela were right – it was time to tie up loose ends.

_**I work a half day on Thursday. Do you want to come down in the afternoon?**_

I hit "Send" and within seconds I received a reply.

_**Great! I'll see you then.**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **To those who are curious about Carlisle's impromptu performance, he was playing Mozart's Piano Sonata No. 11 (A Major; K331; Andante grazioso). I realize that music is a highly subjective form of art. So, to anyone who have advanced music theory background, specifically in Music History and Analysis, I would be happy to hear from you if I had interpreted the Tema portion of the sonata incorrectly. Thanks :)


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Thank you to StormDragonfly for her patience and input. Thanks also to everyone who have continued to follow the story, favorited, and left reviews. Any typos or grammatical errors in the chapter are solely mine.

No copyright infringement was intended.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

I was a wreck that Thursday morning. All the composure that I had forced myself to fake before I arrived at work went out the window. I spilled coffee a couple of times and set the oven timer incorrectly, causing the pecan tarts to burn to a crisp. I felt even worse when Ellen called me out for constantly yanking my phone out to check the time.

"Bella, if you look at that thing one more time, I swear I'll have to confiscate it!"

Startled, I looked up. I wouldn't blame her if she followed through on her threat, given how much my mobile distracted me on top of my general inattention all morning. To my relief, she was smiling. "I'm sorry, Ellen. I'm expecting a visitor after my shift."

"Is he cute?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me," she grinned slyly. "Did you think I wouldn't notice the new hair?" My hand automatically flew to my hair. "Don't worry, honey, I think it suits you."

I never thought about Evan's possible reaction to my slightly changed appearance. When Alice asked me if she could experiment on my hairstyle the other day, it didn't occur to me what her motives behind it were. I groaned under my breath. I became one of those typical women who did the post-breakup makeover – except that mine was weeks delayed, not that Evan would know the difference. Thank goodness Alice didn't get her paws on my clothes because I would no doubt end up looking like a harlot in front of my ex.

"Um… it's not a big deal. My friend Alice just wanted to try something out." Who knew that a few inches off the length and a straightening treatment was going to be that noticeable? I didn't, but Carlisle certainly did. I remembered walking in the living room after Alice had done her work. Carlisle was engaged in conversation with Jasper. He stopped talking mid-sentence and gaped when he caught sight of me. I couldn't say exactly for how long, but he recovered quickly enough and continued his chat. However, throughout the evening, he stole a few surreptitious glances in my direction much to my secret pleasure.

Ellen gave me the "uh-huh, sure" look just as the little bell attached to the entrance jingled. "Is that him right there?" she whispered excitedly while she nudged me with her elbow. For a woman in her late forties, she was as giddy as a teenybopper who just saw her crush walk in the room.

Careful not to knock anything off the counter, I turned around and watched Evan take a seat at one of the tables. He gave me a shy wave, his lips curving upward just enough for his dimple to show. I felt my heart skip a beat at the sight of him. Even though it had been a while since I'd seen him, the effect his good looks had on me was still there. "Uh… yeah that's him."

"Well, what are you standing here for? Go join him!"

"Wait! I have another twenty minutes till my shift's done."

"Don't worry about it," Ellen said as she poured two cups of coffee and loaded a plate with beignets. "Here, take these with you… and take off that damned apron!"

I did what I was told and gave her an appreciative smile. "Thanks, Ellen. I'll make it up to you soon." She rolled her eyes and dismissed me with a wave.

When the goods were loaded on a tray, I slowly made my way toward Evan's table. He stood up and pulled a chair out for me after I set the tray down. For a while, it seemed like we weren't going to do anything else but stare at each other. Someone snickered close by, knocking both of us out of our stupor.

"Hi," Evan greeted bashfully.

"Hi."

"You changed your hair. It looks good on you."

I self-consciously tucked a lock behind my ear. "Thanks. You look good, too," I said, despite the fact that he was a little thinner and paler than the last time I saw him. Perhaps the extra workload was costing him his sleep, judging by the slight shadows under his eyes.

"So, you are, uh… doing okay here in Seattle? I was worried considering how abruptly things changed back in August."

"Yeah, I'm doing fairly well. I have a place to stay, got Gigi back, and I have a job," I said, gesturing around me. "Well… sort of," I added quietly so Ellen wouldn't hear.

"That sounds good," he said, visibly relaxing. "I'm surprised you didn't apply at the library. If I'm not mistaken, you'd rather scrape gum off the library shelves than wait tables," he snickered and I followed suit. He knew me so well.

"Actually I did apply for a couple of positions at the circulations department, but I didn't hear back from them," I said after we settled down and took sips of coffee.

"Didn't you say one of your professors knew someone in the public library board? Dr. Cole was it?"

"Oh, yeah! I completely forgot about him."

"He was really fond of you, Bella. I'm sure he could put in a good word."

"Maybe… I should send him an email sometime. Even if I don't end up asking for a reference, I'm still interested to know how he's doing," I said as I broke off a piece of beignet. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Anytime."

"So, how about you? How are you really doing?"

Evan took a swig from his cup before he answered. "I'm okay, I guess. Could be better though." He pushed his glasses up his nose and leaned forward on the table. "Listen, I didn't plan to get into this today, but I don't want to lie to you." He exhaled heavily. "Things haven't been the same since you left. I try to stay at the office much as possible just so I don't have to be at the apartment unless necessary."

"I'm really sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. It was my fault. I messed up."

"It shouldn't mean that you have to punish yourself by neglecting your health."

"I know… I look like shit," he scoffed.

"You don't look that bad…"

He laughed outright, surprising me. "You said earlier that I looked good. So, I've been downgraded to 'not that bad' now?"

"Well, if you keep spending all your time at the office, it could get _much_ worse… like a nerd or a dork," I threatened playfully as I recalled how people in the computing industry detested being stereotyped as either unattractive or socially inept.

It was a relief that we dodged an uncomfortable turn in the conversation. It wasn't the appropriate place especially since the café was starting to fill up with the lunchtime crowd. Instead of enduring more of Ellen's curious stares, we decided to move our get-together a few blocks away to where a taco vendor had set up his truck. We spent lunch chatting about our mutual friends, including Mrs. Li and Elsie, and reminiscing on our UW days. We keep things light and easy, but soon our conversation slowed down and we both knew what was coming up next.

"I think I should head home," I said.

Evan's face fell, though he tried to hide it by looking away. "Right… but hey, I have your things in my car. I could drive over to where you parked and I'll move them into yours," he offered.

"Sure. I'm parked just around the corner of the café."

He jogged off toward his car while I walked the short distance to my Jeep. It didn't take him long to find me and transfer everything to my vehicle. There wasn't much that I had left behind in Vancouver – books, Angela's postcard, a few pictures in their frames, and clothes that were probably in the laundry the day I left.

"Thanks for bringing my stuff down, Ev. I really appreciate it."

"It's no big deal… I'm just glad that you agreed to see me." He was looking at the ground, refusing to meet my eyes.

Against my better judgment, I reached out and brushed my fingers along his cheek. It was the first time we touched in weeks. "Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded hesitantly at first, but then he looked up and finally met my gaze. His eyes were red, betraying the sadness that he had been able to keep at bay throughout the entire visit. "I can't lie to you, Bella… I wish this didn't have to end."

I would be seriously mistaken if I had thought that the look on his face the day I left him was the worst I ever saw on him. Last time, his torment was tinged with worry because I had spent the night somewhere else. That worry was now absent and in its place was the kind of pain that had taken root from weeks of emptiness and regret over a lost future. I knew that pain – I felt it too at first – but mine hadn't had the chance to go as deep as it did for him. While I had Angela, Charlie and Carlisle for support, he only had his work… at least as far as I knew. My heart ached for him nonetheless. Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around him in sympathy.

"It's okay, Ev. We both have a lot of regrets, but we can't dwell on them forever… We have to move on."

"I'm truly sorry for what I did to us, Bella… I would do anything to earn your forgiveness."

I shook my head against his chest. "You don't have to do anything. You're already forgiven."

He pulled back a little bit, his face showing a glimmer of hope. "Do you think we could…?"

I released my hold on him and stepped back to put some distance between us. I hated what I had to do, but there wasn't much else I could say that would make it hurt any less. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"So, this is goodbye then," he said just above a whisper.

"As a couple, yes... but I hope one day we can be friends."

He gave a sharp nod and in a flash, he engulfed me in a desperately tight embrace. "I'd like that – one day – but right now I can't say how soon that will be," he said as he pressed his cheek against the top of my head. "Take care of yourself, Bella. I will never forget you."

As sudden as his arms had locked around me, he let go and climbed into his car. He drove off without looking back. Although it was a fairly warm afternoon, I started to shiver like it was the middle of winter. I was amazed that I had managed to stay calm and collected while Evan appeared to be on the verge of falling apart. But as I drove home, my emotional dam broke and hot tears spilled relentlessly down my cheeks. As soon as I reached home and shut the engine, I stormed through the front door.

"Carlisle!" I called out.

"He's not here," Edward answered from the living room. He approached me, his expression alarmed at the sight of my tear-stained face. "What's going on, Bella? What happened?"

I ignored him as I irrationally continued to search the house for the person whose comfort I wanted the most.

"Wait, wait, wait. Bella, tell me what happened," Edward pleaded as he took a firm hold of my shoulders to steady me. "Everyone's out for the afternoon. Please, tell me what made you so upset."

Instead of answering him, a fresh torrent of tears escaped me. Edward pulled me close and I sobbed against his stone-like chest. He let me cry on him for a long time until I was out of tears. He lifted me effortlessly into his arms and carried me up the stairs. After he laid me gently on my bed, he wrapped his arms around me in a consoling embrace.

"Shh… shh… It's going to be alright," he murmured against the top of my head as his hand rubbed up and down my arm. "Rest now, Bella."

His soothing voice was lulling me to sleep and I didn't bother putting up a fight to stay awake. I was exhausted after the day's emotional roller coaster. Just before sleep took over, I managed to whisper a "thank you" to Edward. I vaguely heard a soft sigh coming from him before everything faded to black.

* * *

><p>I woke up enveloped in the scent of honey and lilac warmed by the sun. It was familiar and a tad too sweet for my liking. I cracked an eye open, noticing the dimness of the room. As I stretched my arms over my head, I realized that I was not alone on the bed.<p>

"How was your sleep?"

"Edward!" I gasped, shooting up in a sitting position.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said as he too sat up, though more slowly than I did. "I hope you don't mind that I stayed here with you. You seemed so distraught and I didn't want to risk waking you."

"Oh," I said. "Thanks, I guess. Did I sleep for very long?"

"It's just about twilight, so a few hours."

That explained why it was dark and why I was hungry. "I should get up," I said and crawled out from under the blankets that I suspected Edward had tucked me into while I slept. "I'm just going to freshen up."

"Alright, I'll see you downstairs in a few minutes."

After I splashed some water on my face, I surveyed my appearance in the mirror. My eyes were a little on the puffy side from all the crying earlier and my clothes were a rumpled mess, so I quickly tied my hair into a tidy ponytail and changed into something more comfortable to wear. By the time I went in the kitchen, Edward was putting the finishing touches to a delicious-looking sandwich. He looked up and beckoned me to the table.

"I heard your stomach growling, so I fixed you a turkey sandwich," he said with a grin. "You want a glass of milk with that or soda?"

"Uh… soda. I need the sugar."

"Coming right up."

"Hey, Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Where did everyone go?"

"Alice wanted to retrieve some things from the house in Forks and both Jasper and Carlisle went with her. I suspect that they'll be back soon," he said while he emptied a can of soda into a glass.

"Oh, okay." Carlisle didn't mention anything about it to me earlier, so perhaps it was a last-minute decision while I was at work. _Still… he could have sent a text message or left a voice message_, I thought between bites.

Edward's voice pulled me out of my musings. "You're scowling," he said from across the table. "Either the sandwich isn't up to par or you're thinking really hard about something."

I swallowed my last bite hastily. "No, the sandwich is great."

"I'm glad to hear that. So, what's on your mind?"

"Um…" I hesitated. Did I really want to share what happened this afternoon with Edward? He had proven to be a good friend – both patient and supportive – even after we ended our romantic relationship long ago. When I came home almost hysterical, he comforted me, stayed with me, and never once pushed for any details.

"Evan came to visit me today," I said. The smile he had been sporting dissipated and concern heavily marked his features. "It's the first time we've seen each other since…"

"I'm aware of what he did in the summer." His voice was laced with disgust.

"We've been sort of in touch over the past week or so. He wanted to make sure that I was doing okay and asked if he could see me. We talked and everything was pleasant enough until it was time to part ways again. He apologized for what he did – for ruining our relationship – and he asked if there was a chance that we could be together again." I sighed shakily before continuing. "The way he looked when I said no… It was awful. He looked like I tore his heart out and ripped it to shreds."

"Do you regret saying no?"

"No," I replied quickly. "It was the right thing to do. We may have been happy for a time, but it's apparent to me now that our issues with communication would've only caused problems for us down the road. I mean, he could've told me that he wasn't satisfied or happy with what we had, but instead he turned to someone else. As for me, I should've insisted on talking about what we were going to do, but I was… afraid, for lack of a better word."

Edward raised a brow at me. "Afraid of what exactly?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure… disappointment, maybe? We never made the time to look beyond the summer months and the thought had occurred to me that perhaps we weren't as committed as I thought." I shook my head. "It doesn't matter now. It's all in the past."

Edward walked over to me and sat on the edge of the table. He took one of my hands in his and squeezed it affectionately. "It may be a while yet until the doubts and the hurt go away. But I want you to know that that I will be here for you, Bella."

"I know. Thanks," I said as I stood and gave him a chaste peck on the cheek. Before I knew it, his long arms wound their way around my waist and he held me to him until I heard the front door close. Before I could free myself from Edward, the voice I'd longed for since I got home reached my ears.

"I apologize," Carlisle said as Edward and I stood and released our hold on each other. "I didn't mean to barge in."

"It's okay. Edward and I were just talking," I said.

"How was the drive to Forks?" Edward asked.

"It was fine. We got what we came for," Carlisle replied, eyeing how closely Edward stood next to me. "Alice and Jasper will be along shortly."

I recognized that look. It was the same look he had when Edward held me by the waist the night they arrived. _Was Carlisle actually jealous?_ My heart raced a little at the thought. What else could explain his barely concealed annoyance at his son's familiarity with me?

"Bella, are you feeling alright?" inquired Edward, as he placed a marble hand on my cheek. "You're feeling a little warm."

"Yes, I'm fine. I think all that talking made me tired."

"Do you want me to take you upstairs to bed?"

"No, I can manage on my own," I said, noting Carlisle's slight glower. I smiled to myself. "I think I've hogged enough of your time. You're probably longing for some freedom outdoors."

"It is not a problem at all, Bella. I'm happy to stay with you here," he protested.

"I know and I appreciate it but…" I scrambled for an excuse.

"I will be here if she needs anything," Carlisle spoke up. I thought I heard a hint of irritation, but I couldn't know for sure. "I might not be a practicing doctor at the moment, but she will be under the best of care should she feel unwell."

Edward considered it for a couple of minutes before he finally relented. "I suppose I could use the fresh air," he said hesitantly. "But we'll talk again later, okay?"

"Sure," I said.

He leaned into me and kissed my temple. After a curt nod to Carlisle, he exited through the front door, leaving me alone with my roommate for the first time in days. It hadn't really been that long, but it seemed like an eternity to me, especially since I wanted to talk with him – to be closer to him. Unfortunately, the presence of the others made it a little more difficult for Carlisle and I to interact as we usually did. Edward had been particularly attentive to me and Carlisle had been occupied by Alice and Jasper. So, with our guests' temporary absence, I found myself feeling a little nervous and giddy in Carlisle's presence, especially after I noticed the way he reacted to Edward's tendency to hover over me.

"So…" I said, trying to conceal my effort to calm myself. "It seems like forever since it was just the two of us."

"I agree."

"It's kind of nice having some of the family around, isn't it?"

"Oh yes, most definitely."

He didn't move from where he stood and after our rather lame exchange, the room was thick with silent discomfort. Before the chirping of crickets became audible even to my inferior human hearing, I decided to take another stab at a conversation.

"How was the house? Is everything looking well?" I asked while I moved my plate and glass to the sink.

"Aside from the towering weeds, everything looks as it should. Alice wanted to retrieve a few small items that she left behind years ago," he replied.

"I wish I could've come along to surprise Charlie with a short visit, but I had to work today." I shut off the faucet and began to dry the dishes, absently facing him in the process. "I was surprised to find Edward here when I got home. I, uh, kind of wished that you were here instead."

He raised his brows in mild surprise. "You did?"

"Yeah," I said quietly.

Carlisle regarded me for a few moments before he finally joined me by the kitchen counter. "It's probably none of my business, but did something happen while I was away?" he asked. "Your eyes… they look like they've seen their share of tears."

His observation didn't surprise me – nothing ever got past those sharp vampire eyes. Reflexively, I reached up to rub my eyes. "Yes, I suppose they're still a little bit puffy," I admitted before confessing why. "I saw Evan today."

He drew a breath in sharply, his forehead creasing with curiosity and concern. "Oh Bella, I hope everything went alright. I can imagine how difficult it must've been for you to see him again."

"Things were okay, at least until we had to say goodbye. He asked for another chance and I said no…. I hope one day he'll see that it was for the best."

By the end of my very brief recount of the afternoon, Carlisle was frowning and gently pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry that I was away when you needed a friend."

"It's okay, Carlisle. You're here now." Despite the somber topic, I couldn't deny myself the happiness I felt at being in his arms. It felt good to be close to him again. I was just short of nuzzling my face to his chest and I swore he did that thing where he inhaled deeply. It didn't last, however, because the next thing I knew, he patted my back reassuringly – like he would to a buddy – before stepping away.

"I assume that was what you and Edward were discussing earlier?"

I gave a simple nod in response, still a little put out by our hastily shortened moment. Then it struck me: he must have picked up Edward's scent on me. Edward _had_ been lying next to me for hours, after all. I tugged the hem of my shirt down self-consciously while I thought of where Edward's scent could still be lingering even after I had changed my clothes.

My hair. Carlisle must've smelled Edward on my hair.

"Bella?"

My attention snapped back to Carlisle and caught sight of his puzzled expression. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. "Sorry, what did you just say?"

"Oh, I merely commented that you and Edward seem to be getting quite close."

"Um, I guess we are in a way_…_" I answered. "But more like the way we were before I left for college. You know… as friends."

He didn't seem convinced, but he raised a hand in a placating manner. "I didn't mean to insinuate –"

"No, it's fine –"

"—or pry…"

"You're not."

We stopped talking and exchanged embarrassed looks. I took the opportunity to turn away by putting the dishes I had dried earlier back in the kitchen cabinet.

"Edward still cares about you," Carlisle said in a low voice after a while.

He didn't need to elaborate. I knew full well what he meant, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. It would only complicate things and that was the last thing I wanted.

"I'm sure he does, just as I care for him and the rest of the family." I turned to meet his gaze, silently asking to drop the subject. The topic of Edward had already taken up enough of our time alone together.

He must've picked up on my unvoiced plea because instead of correcting me or pushing the issue, he casually pulled back his sleeve and checked the time on his watch. "The others should be here any time now. I'm surprised it had taken them this long. Perhaps they ran into Edward and joined him."

"Yeah maybe, but I should head upstairs anyway. I hope they won't mind, but I'm really talked out for the day. Some quiet time will do me good."

"I'll make sure that they give you some privacy."

"Thanks, I appreciate it," I said. As I headed for the stairs, something within compelled me to stop and turn back. "Carlisle?"

"Yes, Bella?"

I wanted to tell him then how much I missed having him to myself and how my feelings for him had grown in our time together. However, the sensible side of me knew it wasn't the right time to say those things yet. I had, after all, just officially ended things with Evan and there were Edward's feelings to consider too. Most of all, I still needed a little more reassurance that there was even a possibility for Carlisle and I to be like that. Sure, we may have had the odd close calls, but they were usually succeeded by coolness and distance. So, instead of following through on my impetuous decision to tell him how I feel, I merely said, "I'm glad we've had this time to talk."

A small, but genuine, smile formed on his lips. "Me, too," he said softly. "Sweet dreams, Bella."

I was dangerously close to melting at the sound of his voice, but thankfully I managed to drag myself up the stairs and into my room without incident.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Thank you to my awesome beta, StormDragonfly, for getting this back to me so quickly, despite her busy schedule. A huge thanks to everyone who have stuck with me even after the long wait between chapters. Any typos or grammatical errors in the chapter are solely mine.

No copyright infringement was intended.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

The days that followed were blessedly uneventful. I went to work, met up with Angela twice, and had a pleasant chat with Charlie on the phone – regular sort of things that gave me no cause for further waterworks. But despite the normalcy of my activities, there was a silent war waging between my heart and mind. Since the evening that Carlisle and I had spoken in the kitchen, all my heart wanted was to yell out my feelings for Carlisle. My mind, however, vehemently disagreed. The arguments for and against waiting to tell Carlisle volleyed back and forth, but somehow I kept it under wraps. I couldn't be certain if anyone ever suspected, since no one had mentioned anything about it, but I knew there was no way it could get past our semi-resident empath. Jasper all but verbally confirmed it when he raised his brow meaningfully when he caught me staring at Carlisle a little longer than necessary. Predictably, I colored and he chuckled under his breath.

In some ways, it was good to have the others around the house. Alice was always ready to provide conversation, and at least one of us joined in. If the bustle of a larger household didn't distract me from my thoughts of Carlisle, it kept the others busy enough to leave me to daydream about him in peace… except for the times when Edward sought out my company.

Edward had recently started to surprise me with some elaborate culinary treat whenever he thought he could get away with it. I objected as much as I could, but he waved it off, claiming that he had taken an interest in cooking. He also offered to give me piano lessons, but I declined politely without explaining that it was something I enjoyed doing with Carlisle. I knew that it would only hurt Edward's feelings. Not surprisingly, Carlisle hadn't continued our lessons out of sensitivity to his son. As much as I would have liked to be sitting cozily next to Carlisle on that small piano bench, it was for the best that it didn't happen. There was no way of telling how quickly my inner war would end. Heart would surely win over mind… unless my body made a surprise addition to the rumble and threw itself onto Carlisle in a scandalous display of lust.

One morning, I walked in on a rather interesting scene in the kitchen. Alice was cozily perched on Jasper's lap with a crossword puzzle in front of them. Edward sat across the table engrossed in a book with both legs propped up on one of the empty chairs. It was an idyllic – yet ironic – picture of my extended family sitting together for breakfast… considering what they were. I smiled fondly, admiring the tranquility of the atmosphere before approaching them. Edward stood and held out the seat he had previously occupied to me.

"Good morning, Bella," he greeted, his eyes alight. "I again took the liberty of making your breakfast this morning," he said, motioning to the cup of coffee and plate of French toast. "I trust you had a good rest?"

"Yes, I did," I replied as I took the proffered seat. "Thanks."

"I'm glad to hear that! We haven't had some girl time since our mini-makeover last week," chimed Alice.

I rolled my eyes in mock annoyance as I speared a syrup-drizzled morsel. "Okay maybe a _small_ shopping trip, but no more makeovers. Oh, and it will have to be after today."

She hopped off Jasper's lap and flitted over to my side. "Aw, how come?"

"Unlike you, little one, I have to go to work," I said, playfully ruffling her hair. "Ellen asked me if I could come in today… sort of last minute."

"_Little one_? Might I remind you, that I'm at least eighty-five years older than you?"

"Maybe in actual age, but physically I'm older than you by five years _and_ you always have been shorter than me."

At the waggle of my brows, Jasper burst out laughing on the other side of the table. Unfortunately for him, it only took a fraction of a second for our doe-eyed Alice to zip back and deliver a resounding whack across the back of his head.

"Now I know how Emmett feels," he mumbled as he rubbed his head, eliciting a round of snickers from the rest of us.

"Seriously, what do you do all day? I mean, you had school before to keep up your human appearances, but what about now? Surely you must be bored out of your minds?"

"Oh no, I'm not bored yet. It's been nice catching up with Carlisle and it's been years since my last visit to Seattle," Alice replied while Jasper nodded in agreement. "Besides, it's nice taking a break from school. It seems to be all we've been doing over and over for a very long time."

"I haven't got any complaints either," piped in Edward. "I keep myself occupied enough until you get home."

"Hey, as long as you're not just sitting around like a statue."

"No, not really –"

"Yes, he does, actually," Jasper butted in. Edward glared at him, but Jasper kept his eyes trained on his puzzle. Both he and his wife were obviously fighting the urge to burst out laughing and I found myself grinning similarly until I caught the look of absolute mortification cross Edward's face. Whatever amusement I felt evaporated into thin air.

"There may have been the odd time or two… It's not a big deal. But to set the record straight, I do spend much of my time doing other things like reading and playing on your piano, which I hope is alright with you," he said with a sheepish smile.

"No, I don't mind at all. You're welcome to play it whenever you please."

"So, back to the boredom topic," continued Alice without missing a beat. "Have you considered pursuing graduate studies or finding a more engaging career, Bella?"

Before I could answer Alice, I felt a familiar reassuring hand on my shoulder. The gentle pressure of Carlisle's touch filled me immediately with warmth, despite the actual temperature of his skin. I hadn't realized when exactly he drifted into the room, but I couldn't be more pleased that he was there.

"I know we're all curious about what Bella will do in the future, but we mustn't forget to respect her space and privacy. She is a grown woman fully capable of deciding what's best for her," he said with a hint of warning in his tone.

"Oh, of course. I wasn't implying anything at all. Forgive me, Bella, if I had offended you."

"It's okay, Alice. I know how things must look now, but hopefully it'll get much better in the coming weeks. The job at Ellen's is temporary and I'm not completely discounting the idea of grad school. One day, perhaps, and I will invite you to join me."

I felt Carlisle squeeze my shoulder affectionately. "There is so much that the world can offer you. There's no pressure to decide right away. But when the time comes, just remember that I'm here if you ever need anything," he said close to my ear. It was great knowing how much faith he had in me, but if I were being truly honest, the feel of his cool breath on my cheek felt even better at the moment. I was so wrapped up in being so physically close to him that it almost seemed like it was just the two of us in the room… as though we were in our own little bubble.

"I'm here for you as well, Bella."

The bubble burst. It wasn't just Carlisle and I in there anymore. I wasn't sure when exactly my eyes had closed, but at the sound of Edward's voice, they popped open. His eyes were narrowed and directed off to my side. Curious, I turned toward Carlisle and found his gaze fixed on Edward. He made no verbal reply, but the slight sharpness in his expression was undoubtedly a challenge to his son's outburst.

"Um, you know Jazzy and I are here for you too, right?" Alice asked, looking between the two men engaged in their strange staring contest.

"Yes of course… All of your support means a lot to me."

"Good. Now let's go to your room and get you ready for work."

I didn't have to be at the café for another two hours, but I didn't protest. Alice had provided an opportunity to escape the suddenly tense situation. Edward and Carlisle seemed to have taken no notice at all as Alice and I stashed my dirty dishes away. They remained unmoved, like still-life art, with Jasper sitting equidistant between them. He didn't seem fazed by what was happening, but I was glad nonetheless that he was there to referee if anything happened.

"I guess I'll see you guys later," I said with an unenthused wave as I left the kitchen with Alice in tow.

Thankfully, she didn't say too much when we were in my room. I got ready fairly quickly while she flipped through the small stack of books on my makeshift nightstand. I wondered if she had any insight over what went on. Her pretty face gave nothing away and when I had finished gathering my keys and bag, she got up wordlessly and followed me back downstairs. On the way out of the house, I glanced over to the kitchen only to find it empty.

_At least it means that they moved at some point in time_, I thought with a shrug.

"Do you want me to drop you off somewhere, Alice?" I asked as I backed out of the driveway.

"It's still another hour and a half until you start right? Want to hang out for a little bit?"

"Sure, that sounds good." I tried to think of a place where we could just take it easy. Normally, my place of choice would have been the couch back at the townhouse, but that wasn't an option. "Do you mind if we just walked around campus?"

"No, I think that's perfect," she said. I could have sworn I saw a twinkle in her eye.

Once we parked the car close to work, we walked toward the university and wandered around aimlessly. There were many students walking to their next class with knapsacks slung over their shoulders and travel mugs of coffee in hand. It was a nice familiar scene… something I didn't realize that I had been missing.

"Interesting morning, huh?" Alice commented.

"Interesting as in awkward? Most definitely," I replied, knowing exactly what she was referring to.

"Tell me again what happened after seeing Evan."

"What ever happened to your perfect recall?" I half-mocked.

She closed her eyes briefly and sighed. "Bella, your description, from what I remember, was brief and largely uninformative. Tell me again – this time _with _details."

I sighed, but complied with her demand. I went over everything starting with my arrival in search of Carlisle but finding Edward instead. I told her how Edward let me cry on him and that he spent hours next to me on my bed while I slept. I described the annoyance I perceived from Carlisle whenever Edward was physically too close to my side. And finally, I shared with her the conversation that I had with Carlisle after Edward had gone. Alice listened intently and when I had finished, she pulled me over to an empty bench.

"Carlisle's right you know. I can't believe you hadn't guessed all this time."

"You mean about Edward?"

"Yes, about Edward."

"Well, I've noticed the way he is around me, but why? What is he hoping will happen between us? It's been years and we seemed to have gotten along better as friends."

"That's how you feel, but Edward never stopped loving you. Everyone in the family knows. We just didn't say anything out of respect for his privacy. It's no secret that he hopes one day you might care for him in that way again."

I rubbed my forehead tensely. How could I have been so naïve? Everyone including Charlie saw this coming for heaven's sake. "I wish he wouldn't feel that way."

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Bella, but I don't think his feelings will change easily. It would take something earth-shattering for it to change." She smiled sadly. "Something along the same magnitude as falling in love for the first time after a hundred years of existence."

My stomach knotted uncomfortably. I knew for certain that my feelings for him wouldn't return to the way they had been when we first fell in love. I had changed over the years while he remained the same. I moved on and he didn't. So, did that mean his love would forever go unrequited? It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve to be lonely or hurt because I cared for Carlisle in that way instead. I squeezed my eyes shut at the messy love triangle I was finding myself in.

_This stuff only happens in daytime dramas!_

I felt a small, cool hand pat my knee. "I wish I could tell you that everything will be alright, but even I don't know what the future holds regarding this," Alice said quietly.

"It's okay. I know you can't tell me even if you did know how it all turns out."

We sat back and watched the remaining students on the grounds. I didn't realize how complicated things had become in the last few weeks. My life was certainly a lot simpler when I was still in college. I had a steady boyfriend, classes that I enjoyed, and a carefree job. But all that changed in a matter of months. Since my college graduation, I had gone through a breakup, struggled to find a decent job, and discovered some things about the Cullen family that I had been oblivious about for years.

"So, when are you going to tell me that you're falling in love with Carlisle?" Alice asked in a teasing tone.

"I don't know… I thought about telling you last week, but I didn't know how you'd react," I replied, half laughing. "This is still rather new to me. I've only accepted that I cared for him in that way very recently. I take it Jasper told you?"

"He didn't have to. You're glowing whenever Carlisle is around."

"Oh. I didn't realize I was that obvious. It makes me wonder how Edward could still want to be with me."

"No, you're not that obvious, Bella. It was only obvious to me because I know you. Jasper, of course, has his gift." Alice shook her head in exasperation. "Edward would probably see it too if he wasn't so blinded by his hopes."

I bit down on my lip as I willed myself to ask about the person whose opinion on the matter counted the most. "And Carlisle?"

She raised her brows at me in disbelief. "Seriously, Bella?"

_So it was obvious to him too…_ "I can't decide if I should be glad or embarrassed. If he's known all this time, why didn't he say something? Maybe I've been making him uncomfortable this whole time. Can you imagine? His son's ex-girlfriend pining away for him?" I grimaced at how awful it sounded. "But then the way he acts when Edward hovers… why would he be like that unless he doesn't approve of Edward and me? And then there were those times when we got close… we almost kissed on my birthday!" I was babbling away while Alice grinned, hanging on my every word. "Good Lord… could he…?"

She nodded excitedly.

"Edward must've read it in his mind this morning!" I clapped my hand over my mouth at this new realization. But before I could process anything more, the sound of a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Isabella Swan, is that you?"

I snatched my hand away from my mouth and hurriedly stood to face the portly gentleman that called out my name. "Dr. Cole! What a nice surprise to see you this morning."

"Ah, the pleasure is all mine." Though it was difficult to tell at times, I knew that he was smiling behind his bushy beard and moustache because of the way the corners of his eyes crinkled. He reached forward and clasped my outstretched hand between his and gave it a friendly squeeze. "Ah, where are my manners? Please allow me to introduce my dear old friend Anita Wells," he said, gesturing to a tall woman whom I did not notice earlier. "Anita, this is Isabella Swan, a former student of mine."

"Pleased to meet you," I said in turn, wondering if I should have offered my hand up for a shake. She didn't seem anywhere near as cordial as Dr. Cole. In fact, she was a little intimidating. She saved me the trouble of making the decision, by dipping her head in a stoic nod. "And this is Alice, a good friend of mine."

Instead of her usual buoyant expression, Alice said a demure hello from her perch on the bench before pretending to busy herself with the contents of her purse. Perhaps Anita Wells's frosty demeanor dampened even Alice's cheery personality.

"Miss Swan, your name sounds somewhat familiar to me," Anita said suddenly. "Have you recently applied for a position at the library?"

"Not at any of the campus libraries, no. However, I did apply at the public library a few weeks ago."

"Oh, what's this? I didn't know you had an interest in Library Sciences. You should have told me a long time ago. I would've introduced you ladies to each other sooner!" Dr. Cole said with a clap of his pudgy hands. "Anita here is a member of the Seattle Public Library board and serves as Director of Community Affairs."

"Actually, I've only applied at the circulations department." I felt the familiar heat of embarrassment creep up my neck. Thankfully, the air still had a slight chill to it, despite the late morning hour, and kept the redness at bay.

The frost-lady didn't comment, but my affable former teacher clucked his tongue. "Was that the only department with openings? Surely you missed something more to the level of your knowledge and talent… But it is fortunate that we should run into each other today," he said with a smile. "Perhaps Anita can give you a hand finding something?"

I expected the woman to balk at her friend's suggestion, but she made no such reaction. Instead she asked in a rather disinterested tone, "Have you worked at a library before Miss Swan?"

"Yes, I have. It was at a small town for one summer a few years ago," I managed to say.

"Ah, see? Something Anita can work with!" Dr. Cole said encouragingly. He pulled back his sleeve to check the time and sighed. "Alas, we are running late for an appointment. It was lovely running into you this morning, Isabella, and I am very pleased to have introduced you two to each other." He shook his head in amusement. "A fortuitous day indeed!" With a final chuckle and another stiff nod from his aloof companion, they walked away.

I turned back to Alice, who was grinning from ear to ear. "He is such a teddy bear, Bella!" she squealed while she hugged her purse tightly in her arms. "Although I can't say the same for his _charming _friend, the connection could be good down the road… What did he say it was? Fortuitous?"

Rolling my eyes, I sat back down and muttered, "Yeah… almost like kismet, isn't it? Did you see that coming?"

"That's for me to know and you not to worry about," she said, retrieving her phone from her bag. "I should go, my man's summoning me. It's almost time for you to start work anyway." She gave me a brief, sisterly hug. "Think over your epiphany from earlier, okay? I'm only a phone call away if you need to talk some more."

I nodded then watched her walk away at a human pace, her high-heeled boots making a muted clicking sound against the pavement.

_Carlisle thinks about me… in that way. There's no other explanation for Edward's reaction this morning_, I thought. Warmth and satisfaction bloomed in my chest. I sat back and closed my eyes to relish the feeling for a few moments more. Finally, when I couldn't put off my trek to Ellen's any longer, I got up and tucked away my precious thoughts for later.

* * *

><p>It was a slow and dull afternoon at work. There weren't many customers and I ended up having to throw out a few carafes of coffee by the end of the day. It was just as well – I didn't feel like engaging with anyone in idle chitchat, not with my happy Carlisle thoughts at my disposal. When I pulled up to the driveway, my mind automatically registered the absence of his car and as I walked the short distance to the front door, I was met by the melodic cascade of a Chopin Impromptu. Edward was home. He stopped playing as soon as I entered.<p>

"Hi," he greeted as he rose.

"Hey." I scanned the room for any signs of the others, trying to look casual.

"It's just you and me again," he said with a small smile. I groaned to myself at my inability to act convincingly.

He took my bag from my shoulder and placed it on the floor. "Can I fix you something to eat? I'm not sure if you've had anything yet, but seeing that it is almost dinner time –"

"No, it's alright. I'm fine for now."

"Alright," he conceded. "I'm actually glad that we have this time to ourselves. Would you mind if we sit here for a while and talk for a bit?"

I nodded, wary of the possibilities that the conversation could get into. Edward led me to the lone sofa in the living room with one of my hands clasped within his. He didn't let go even after we'd taken our seats.

"I've been thinking about a lot of things," he began with a slight waver, causing an uneasiness to settle in the pit of my stomach. "Aside from the two-year lapse in our communication, you'd say we've been really good friends, right?"

"I suppose so," I replied cautiously.

"And great friendships are rooted from deep mutual respect and affection for each other, wouldn't you agree?"

I nodded and he blew a short burst of air as though psyching himself to continue.

"I think that for most people, romantic love blossoms from respect and affection – depending on the level of attraction involved. You and I," he said, making eye contact with me, "began our relationship very differently. We started out with a powerful attraction and that drew us together despite the danger I posed to you. All hazards aside, we lacked the proper foundation of knowing each other by being just friends to start… and we know how that turned out. But regardless of what happened, I am very thankful that we became friends very soon after."

My gaze shifted down to our joined hands as I became increasingly conscious of the sweat building in my palm. Noticing my distraction, he gently unfurled my clenched hand and blew a cool stream of air on it. Goosebumps covered my arm. He kept it up until he thought it was sufficiently dry before threading his fingers with mine.

_This is wrong… Say something before he does!_

Edward was too quick.

"Bella, I never thought it possible to love you more than I did in the beginning. But when you took me back as your friend, I was proven wrong. Getting to know you outside of the romantic context actually made me feel… more. I couldn't bear the thought of scaring you off, so I kept quiet all these years." He ducked down, his butterscotch eyes boring into my face. "I realize it might be too soon after your last relationship –"

I pulled away and shot up from my seat. "I don't think you should continue with what you're about to say."

He looked taken aback – hurt by the way I sprang from him. "I apologize if I've upset you," he said quietly.

I sighed unhappily and sank back down next to him, careful to leave a safe distance between us. "It's not just that it's too soon after Evan. I just don't think it's fair to you to feel so much for me when…" My mouth had suddenly gone very dry. How could I tell him that I wouldn't be able to return his feelings without causing further pain and embarrassment?

He didn't say anything at first, perhaps to wait for me to continue. But when a minute had gone by and my lips still remained firmly pressed together, he gently prompted. "When…?"

"Edward, you have to understand… It's been many years since you and I were like that," I said delicately. "I've always believed that we made the right choice when we decided to be friends after we broke up. It seemed to have worked out better for us. We were generally happier and to change that now would be a mistake."

He took my words in silence and I wondered if we would still come out of this conversation as friends. It would be a terrible shame – a waste – to lose what good we've had between us. Knowing that there wasn't anything more I could say, I began to search his face for any clues on what he might be feeling. His eyes were trained on the floor in front of him and his brows and mouth gave nothing away.

"Is there absolutely no room for me to hope?" he asked. But, as I scrambled for a kind response, he lifted a hand up to stop me. "Actually, don't answer that. I think I've already made things difficult enough."

"I'm very sorry that this isn't turning out the way that you wanted."

He straightened up and gave me a weak smile. "Don't be sorry, Bella. I truly appreciate your honesty. I had my chance before and blew it."

I reached out tentatively and held on to one of his stony hands. It twitched ever so slightly and I began to think that he was about to clasp our hands together again. However, he made no further movement. We sat quietly together in the midst of the invisible storm of emotions until the room grew dark and we whispered our goodnights.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Thanks again to my super awesome beta, StormDragonfly, for her feedback and speedy turnaround. Also, a huge thanks goes out to BookwormBaby2580 for her support and being the wealth of info that she is - I truly appreciated the impromptu WC's and the laughs. Last, but not least, thanks to everyone who continued to follow the story and for all the encouraging comments and reviews. Any typos or grammatical errors in the chapter are solely mine.

No copyright infringement was intended.

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

"So, you know my number by heart, right? And you promise to call me if you ever need anything?"

"I have your number on my contact list, Alice, and yes, I'll call you… even if I don't need anything other than to hear your voice."

"Good. I will do the same. I don't want to lose touch ever again."

We hugged each other tightly as I recommitted to memory the feel of her tiny, steel frame in my arms and the softness of her fashionably short choppy hair against my cheek. When we finally backed away from each other, she looked at me expectantly as though she had already seen what was coming next.

"Can you let me know how Edward's doing?" I asked hesitantly.

She nodded quietly just as her mate drawled from nearby. "I'm sure he'll be fine, Bella, but we'll keep an eye on him all the same."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

After sharing one last round of hugs and a brief handshake with Jasper, they were off on their journey back home. Carlisle and I watched their rental get farther away until it disappeared as they rounded the bend in the road. When they, along with Edward, arrived a couple of weeks ago, the townhouse felt almost too crowded at first, especially since there seemed to be very few opportunities for Carlisle and I to be alone. But now that all three had gone and I had become accustomed to having them around, the house felt like it had been emptied.

"Is it strange for me to miss them already?"

"No, I don't think it's strange at all," Carlisle replied as he drifted over to where I stood on the driveway.

With arms linked, we walked back into the house at a snail's pace, steeping in the comfort of our close physical proximity. Once inside, we released each other and I continued on to the kitchen deep in thought. It had always been in the back of my mind, but now, more than ever, I suspected that Carlisle could decide to fly out to visit the rest of his family at any time. It wasn't like he had a job that tied him down to the city. Nothing was stopping him from going. He could very well leave the next day and not come back for weeks or months... that was if he wanted to come back at all.

I winced at the thought. There may have been something budding between us, but I was fairly certain that it was nothing compared to what he had with his family. It hurt to think about it, but I had to be realistic about the situation.

_Perhaps rather than wait for him to drop the news on me one unsuspecting day, I could bring it up now and see what he says_.

"Have you thought about going out east?" I asked casually over my shoulder, knowing how easily he could hear me anywhere in the house. My hair got caught in a fleeting swirl of air, signaling his swift entrance behind me. Instead of turning around to acknowledge his arrival, I kept my back to him, pretending to eye the contents of the kitchen cabinet.

"I've thought about it on and off, but I haven't been able to commit to a decision yet."

I chewed my lip uneasily as my hand closed around a box of tea. "You should go. I'm sure Emmett, Rose, and Esme would like that very much."

When he didn't reply right away, I finally turned around to find him staring at me curiously. I could feel some of my resolve crumble away, but a large part of me was determined to face disappointment head on.

"I mean, after being part of a larger family unit again these past few weeks, wouldn't you want to see the others as well?"

"I know I shouldn't read into things, but you sound somewhat adamant that I go," he said in a measured tone. "Is there any particular reason why you want to be rid of me?"

"No… I didn't mean for it to sound that way at all. Of course I'm not trying to be rid of you. I just thought that if I encourage you to go you wouldn't think that I'm not okay with you leaving," I replied, feeling increasingly flustered by the second. "Because I'm okay – _more_ than okay – with you going."

He smiled softly as he smoothed my knitted brows with his thumb. "Thank you, Bella, for thinking about me. When I do decide on paying New England a visit, I'll be sure to let you know well ahead of time, so you can book some time off as well and join me."

I nearly balked, completely caught off guard by his assumption that I should come as well. Not once had the thought occurred to me that he wanted me with him on his first visit home. Shame began to physically manifest itself uncomfortably on my cheeks.

"Y-you want me to go with you?"

"Yes, I'd very much like it if you could come."

I dropped my gaze as my emotions shifted from shame to disappointment. As much as I wanted to accept his invitation and rejoice over not having to be without him after all, my current circumstances would not allow me the luxury of traipsing across the continent. "Thanks, but I don't think Ellen could spare me that long."

"Don't worry about it for now. As I said earlier, I have no immediate plans to go."

He then gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving me to gape at his retreating figure.

* * *

><p>The next two days became an exercise of rediscovery. It seemed that Carlisle and I had to relearn what it was like to live without bumping into anyone else in the house. It was quiet most of the time now, except for the times when we'd sit together and chat about whatever came to mind. I even resumed shopping for my own groceries again since Edward and Alice had taken care of that while they were here. I knew Edward's reason, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Alice only did it to free up more time for us to go shopping. As much as it had annoyed me in the beginning, I ended up submitting to their wishes because it was absolutely senseless to argue with them.<p>

It was early afternoon and I was in the middle of rearranging my closet when I heard a knock. Of course, even with my bedroom door ajar, Carlisle would never enter uninvited.

"Come on in, Carlisle, the door's open. You're welcome to come in without asking."

He walked in with a slightly unsure gait. "I know how you feel about it, Bella, but in my time it was decidedly uncouth for a gentleman to be inside a young lady's bedchamber."

"Hmm… I'll ignore this bit of scandal, if you will," I laughed as I hung more clothes back on the rack. "So, what brings you over to my little corner?"

"Well…" he began as he rubbed at the nape of his neck. "I was wondering if you have any plans this evening."

"I was originally going to Angela's but she called earlier today to reschedule. Ben's coming down with a nasty cold and she thought it's probably best to keep away from each other for a while. I'll likely just hang out here." I snuck a sidelong glance at him. "You?"

"I haven't got any plans either. I suppose I could catch up on some reading, but it seems like that's all I ever do." He was quiet again and for a while he appeared to be deliberating over something as he ran a hand through his hair. "Actually, Bella… since both of us don't really have anything concrete for tonight, I was wondering if you'd like to do something together instead. That is, if your heart isn't already set on a quiet evening here at home."

"Oh!" I said, unable to hide my surprise. "That would be really nice. Did you have something in mind?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure what people do for a fun night out these days, but it's been a long time since I've gone to the movies. I would take you somewhere for dinner first, of course, so you wouldn't have to prepare anything here, if that's alright with you."

I felt a slight flutter in my stomach as he described what sounded like a typical first date for most people. Dinner and a movie. It was so commonplace, yet incredibly sweet coming from Carlisle, especially since his nerves were so palpable. "Sure, that sounds fun."

"Okay, it's a plan then," he said, visibly relaxing. "I might have just enough time to go on a quick hunt, since there are still a couple of hours before dinner."

He was halfway out of my room when he abruptly stopped and faced me again, his eyes betraying a sparkle. "I know it's a bit premature to say, but thanks for going out with me tonight."

I rolled my eyes at him and made a show of shooing him away. "Let's see if you feel the same way after we get home. Now get going and have a good hunt."

He chuckled under his breath and was gone in a flash.

Humming, I scanned my newly re-arranged closet for something appropriate to wear for the evening. After that talk with Alice days ago and now Carlisle's invitation to spend time together, I felt a little more reassured of the possibility of us being a couple. However, we still weren't quite in the position of calling this a date, so I picked out a dark shirt dress along with a pair of leggings and ballet flats – something that I thought looked comely, yet unassuming. As I laid out my clothes on the bed, my eyes fell on a folded piece of paper that I had left by my bedside lamp.

The morning after Edward professed his feelings for me, he handed me a letter and politely took his leave of Carlisle's hospitality. Although he claimed that it was time he went back to New England, I had the feeling that that everyone suspected at some level that I was partially if not the main reason for his departure. No one pressed me for any details, however, and we continued on with our day to day activities until it was Alice and Jasper's turn to go.

Without realizing it, I picked it up and my eyes roamed over the beautifully handwritten letter once again.

_**Dear Bella,**_

_**I would like to start with an apology for making a mess of things yesterday. You have great sense and wisdom, and I envy your ability to grow and change. If I had but a small fraction of your maturity and had not been blinded by my hope that you might be able to love me again as I love you, I would have continued to hold my tongue. I would have tried to be content with your friendship. Now, I'm afraid that I've ruined it forever. **_

_**Though I probably don't deserve it, I will continue to hope that one day you might forgive me. And when that day comes, I promise not to solicit you for anything more than you are comfortable with.**_

_**That being said, I wish you every happiness even when you find it in someone else. As much as it pains me to say it, he is a good man, Bella – the best I've ever known. But where you are concerned, I sincerely hope he does everything to deserve you. And because I will always love you faithfully for the rest of my existence, your happiness will forever be utmost to me. **_

_**Until we see each other again, please take care and remember that I will always be here for you.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Edward**_

After folding the letter closed, I placed it back on top of the moving box by my bed. I had already lost count of how many times I've read it. The feelings it stirred in me were mixed. I felt badly for him, but I was also relieved at the same time: I was no longer stringing him along, though it was done unknowingly. Still, it was a small consolation to the pain that I have caused him. Even though he didn't mention names, he _knew_. And despite the hurt and the betrayal he must've felt, he gave his blessing. How I wished that there was some way I could convey my amazement and gratitude for his letting me go.

With a slightly heavy heart, I turned away from the letter. At the sight of my not-quite-a-date-with-Carlisle outfit, some of my melancholy was chased away. Carlisle deserved a fun night, and it just won't do to mope about what had passed. It was time to reconnect again and hopefully I will have a better idea where things might lead.

* * *

><p>"Have I already paid you my compliments tonight, Bella?"<p>

"You know very well that you have, but thanks for making a girl feel pretty," I replied with a grin. "You look really nice yourself."

"Thank you. But as wonderful as you look right now, I would feel much better if you allow me to lend you my coat. I'm not quite convinced that you're dressed warmly enough."

"Don't be ridiculous, Carlisle. We're almost there. It's not _that_ long of a walk from where we parked to the restaurant."

Though I loathed the idea of admitting to it, he was right, of course. I wasn't dressed warmly enough. In my haste to leave the house, I draped only a light woolen sweater over my shoulders, thinking it was sufficient. However, I didn't account for the chilly October wind that began to blow shortly after we got out of his car. Relieved that we finally reached our destination, I eagerly stepped inside.

"See? We're already here where it's nice and toasty warm," I said, desperately trying to hide my shivering.

He answered me with a smugly raised brow before looking at the packed waiting area. "I knew I should've made a reservation. I didn't realize how popular this restaurant was," he said with a small frown.

"Maybe some came in large groups. Let's find out how long the wait will be and go from there."

He nodded and turned towards the hostess. "Hello, how long is the wait for a table for two?"

"It will be a forty-five minute wait," the woman replied tersely without looking up from her seating chart. When she finally did and saw Carlisle, her eyes widened and her eyelashes began to bat furiously. "Ah, but I'm sure I can find _you_ something much sooner."

"Thank you, but I don't think that will be necessary, uh…"

"My name's Kelly," she supplied, smiling sweetly. She did a quick scan of the waiting list in front of her and furiously rubbed the end of her pencil at a name near the top. "And what name should I put it under?"

"Did you just erase someone's name on that list?" I asked incredulously.

Kelly narrowed her eyes at me though her smile remained plastered on her face. "I did say I'd find something sooner."

"Yes, but I didn't think it would be at another patron's expense." I thought about the couple who would end up waiting even longer than they expected because of some classless, unprofessional flirt. Leaning toward Carlisle, I said more quietly, "Forty-five minutes is quite long and the service might be slow. Let's go. There are lots of other places to eat."

He smiled warmly at me, clearly in agreement with my suggestion. "Thank you for your help, Kelly, but I think we'll dine elsewhere tonight."

Her face fell and as she opened her mouth to say something, perhaps in protest, but Carlisle quickly added, "Oh and I think a miss Melissa will appreciate her name getting reinstated on your list after you've erased it."

There was an unmistakable squawk followed by a round of indignant exclamations as we walked out of the restaurant and back into the windy street. Carlisle promptly shrugged his coat off and wrapped it around me securely.

"I'm not about to let you weasel out of borrowing my coat this time."

I peered at him from behind the bulk of material. "I wasn't planning on it."

"Good. I realize it doesn't feel any warmer than if it had been left outdoors, but at least it will protect you from the wind."

And protect me from the wind it did – much like his coat from many years ago shielded me from the rain. "No, this is great, thanks. It reminds me of that rainy afternoon in front of your house when you offered me your clothes to protect me from the weather."

His expression softened in remembrance. "It seems like ages ago."

"It _was_ ages ago! I was only in high school." I tugged the woolen material tighter around my neck and chest, sneaking a whiff of the scent that clung to it. "Same coat?"

"Bella, Bella, Bella… your aging mind fails you. Of course it isn't the same one," he teased.

I stuck my tongue out at him playfully and we picked up our pace to a brisk walk. Although the point was to get to the car sooner, our hastened steps also exacerbated the sting on the exposed bits of skin on my feet. I tried to distract myself by thinking of things related to heat like sandy beaches and roaring fires. But when that didn't work, I resorted to stealing a few glances at Carlisle instead. I watched in quiet admiration at his slightly hunched form, his hands shoved into his jeans pockets. His hair blew around attractively in the wind. Just when I was about to hide behind the broad collar again, he turned his head and met my gaze.

"Something on your mind?"

"Oh, I was just trying to think of warm things… You know, to distract myself from the cold." It was only part of what was on my mind, but still true nonetheless.

"Is it working?"

"Not really. We can't seem to get to the car soon enough!"

"I'll make sure to blast the heater on when we get in."

True to his word, he turned up the heat and fan as high as it would go the second we got in the car. I rubbed my hands in front of the vents, while Carlisle rubbed my arms above his coat. Between our efforts and the quickly warming air, I was no longer a human Popsicle.

"It's still quite early yet. Is there another restaurant you'd like to go to?"

I thought about the places I used to frequent back in my college days and frowned when I remembered how scarce parking was in that part of town. Having to walk for more than a couple of blocks outside in the cold wasn't my idea of a good time. "Hmmm… is it okay if we skip the restaurant scene altogether for tonight? I'd much rather swing by a drive-thru."

"Whatever makes you happy, Bella. Your wish is my command," he said and sped us to the nearest fast food chain he could find.

I ended up getting a burger with a side order of fries and their combined aroma was making my stomach gurgle in anticipation. Carlisle grinned at me as I snuck a fry out of the takeout bag every so often.

"I'm glad _someone's_ amused. If there was a dead cow on my lap, I'm sure you'd be sneaking a gulp or two every chance you get."

"Ugh… dead anything isn't appetizing. I'm also not the type who would prolong the death of an animal."

By the time we reached the movie theatre lot, I was already a third of the way through my burger. Hunger left no room for timidity and embarrassment, so I dug into my dinner while Carlisle talked about a book he was reading. At some point in time he ceased talking and when I glanced up at him, I found him staring at me intently.

"Um, you're looking at me funny."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he said sheepishly. "I just got caught up watching you consume your meal."

"Oh… Well, I pretty much inhaled it."

"I was no different a few hours ago. I think I polished off two bucks within minutes," he said lightly with a dismissive wave. "But I apologize for my manners. I know it's rude to stare, but I really find the whole process interesting."

I crinkled my nose at his response. "You find the mastication – all that saliva – interesting?"

"I'm a doctor and a scientist at heart, Bella. It's all very fascinating to me." He winked and I rolled my eyes in an exaggerated manner.

"Okay, if you say so."

Hoping I hadn't scattered salt or crumbs in Carlisle's car, I carefully dumped everything back into the paper bag after eating the last of the fries. "It's really too bad that you weren't still human when hamburgers were invented. It may have been a little on the greasy side, but it certainly hit the spot. I'm so glad we didn't stick around that restaurant."

"I'm glad too. It amazes me how brazen young people have become these days," he muttered.

"Oh come on now, we're not going to have that conversation again are we? Times have changed, though not always for the better. Besides, you can't honestly tell me that no one had tried to hit on you before."

He shook his head abashedly. "There may have been a few times in my lifetime."

"By a few, you mean a lot."

"No, I mean a few," he said as he shifted around in his seat to face me. "My marital status didn't seem to mean very much to those women. But, at least they were smart enough to stay away when Esme was around."

Even with the knowledge that they hadn't been truly in love, there still existed a small pocket of insecurity and guilt in me. It was annoyingly irrational and of all the times it could've reminded me of its presence, now was definitely not the best time.

"Hmm… I can see why. Most people would feel intimidated when they're face to face with someone who they feel is superior to them." I didn't bother saying that those women didn't have to know how truly wonderful Esme was on the inside as well as on the outside to deflate them. Her outer beauty was enough.

"I think that logic is flawed," he countered. "You were standing there next to me, after all. And pardon my partiality, but she had nothing compared to you."

"Thanks… I guess."

Carlisle gave me an exasperated look and I knew he was about to deliver some speech to convince me that I wasn't seeing myself clearly, as I'd heard countless of times from Edward before. In an effort to stave it off, I pointed at his left hand, which was missing a certain gold band.

"Logic aside, you can't blame the girl for trying."

He sighed audibly as his right hand ghosted over his ring finger. "It was still incredibly rude of her to behave like that in front of you."

"Don't worry about it. I've long since learned to expect that type of behavior from other people when I'm around vampires. Besides," I added in a conciliatory tone, "she can only admire and entice, but it's me who's enjoying your company now."

That seemed to appease him and we settled into a couple of minutes of silence as we looked over the movie listing displayed on the fluorescent banner right above the entrance. Neither one of us had seen or heard of most of the titles, so, in the spirit of spontaneity, we agreed on watching the movie that would start the soonest.

"Let's just hope we end up seeing something marginally good. I'm a little worried about all the gore and violence on film these days," I mused as I bundled myself in Carlisle's coat again.

"Regardless of how the movie turns out, I just want you to know how much fun I'm having tonight."

I reached out and gave his arm an affectionate squeeze. "Me, too."

Our eyes met and once again we were in our own little bubble except this time the car actually served as a sort of physical manifestation of it. Everything else melted away including the smell of fast food that permeated the car. All that registered to my senses was Carlisle and the pull I felt toward him. I wondered if he felt it too.

However, unlike him, I couldn't stay very still for long periods of time, so with a sigh, I drew my hand back and tilted my head in invitation. "Come on. I'm curious to see what movie we'll end up watching."

"Bella, wait."

I watched him with bated breath as he leaned over the gear shift unhurriedly toward me until our faces were just inches away from each other. His thumb brushed gently against the corner of my mouth, feeling more like a caress than anything else.

"Crumbs…" he murmured as his eyes moved from mine down to my lips.

"Crumbs?" I asked, completely devoid of embarrassment. It didn't matter if there really were bits of food on my face. He was so close that I could feel his cool breath envelop me more intimately than his coat.

"Crumbs," he confirmed in an appealingly low voice.

The distance between us disappeared. Our noses touched. The contact, merely a whisper, jolted my heart into overdrive. Then our lips brushed against one another once… twice… and finally pressing together in sweet union. My eyes fluttered closed at the feel of his lips on mine – so very right and perfect.

He cared for me.

And though my heart initially felt like it was going to burst with exhilaration, I'd never known peace and contentedness as I did at that moment.

I wanted to reciprocate, show him physically that I felt the same way, so I reached up and gently ran my fingers through his lustrous hair. He responded by pulling me closer, and just when our kiss began to intensify, a sudden rapping against the car window followed by the snickering sounds of young people outside interrupted us. We broke apart, but only very slightly so that our foreheads still touched, and laughed silently against each other.

"I guess that's our cue to go inside?" he said, amusement coloring his tone.

"Yeah, I guess so."

He stepped out and opened my door, offering his hand. I took it gladly as I had yet to recover from the rush of our first kiss. With fingers twined, we made our way toward the entrance. The cold didn't touch me and the curious stares of envious women went ignored. I was completely consumed by the man with me, and judging by the way his eyes danced when he looked at me, I knew he felt the same.


End file.
